Draft of USA Today Ad

[Bryan]

Obviously the final result will be just one pic- I had to break it up here for speed reasons. Post your thoughts.

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/5884/adtopni4.jpg

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/6131/adbottomxw6.jpg

[werdd]

looks excellent.

[FrankRep]

beautiful.

When will it run and how long?

[ConceivedInLiberty]

There's an interesting dilemma with the fact that RP's supporters are opposed to the mainstream of both parties, yet we are dependent on the Republican Party for any chance at nomination and victory in the general election.

I'm not so sure I would take it to the Republicans by saying they and the Democrats are in reality cooperating to make themselves richer while pretending to opposing each other.

I'd word it in terms of the general politician in Washington doing such things without specifically saying both parties.

[hard@work]

BEAUTIFUL!

[llepard]

beautiful.

When will it run and how long?

Probably Wed, b4 Thanksgiving. They have the option to run it on Tues. but Tues was full, so unlikely.

It will be black and white.

National edition. All 50 states. Circulation 2mm++

[Primbs]

Very nice ad.

[MsDoodahs]

Man, that is good.

[DeadheadForPaul]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

[tarmactrr]

That's a pretty good ad if I must say so myself.

[Melissa]

I am speechless great job!!!!!!!!!!

[torchbearer]

I'm buying several copies of that USA Today... in fact, that will be the secondary story put out in USA Today when we set a single day record sells day for them. ;)

[MsDoodahs]

I'm not so sure I would take it to the Republicans by saying they and the Democrats are in reality cooperating to make themselves richer while pretending to opposing each other.

I'd word it in terms of the general politician in Washington doing such things without specifically saying both parties.

I think it is worded perfectly. It is HONEST about what is going down.

[ConstitutionGal]

That is truly a thing of beauty IMHO!!

My hat is off to Mr. Lepard for his dedication to freedom and liberty!!

[Dlynne]

I would urge you to state in the ad that Ron Paul is running in the Republican primaries, since it seems that a lot of people still do not know who he is. I guess in that regard, you might want to consider removing the lines regarding the 2 party system.

At any rate, great thing for you to do....thanks!

[Erazmus]

Very nice!!!

[Hope]

The Founding Fathers bit is really presumptuous. Had I not heard of Ron Paul, I wouldn't bother to read far enough down to get to his positions because I don't have much respect for people who use timeless icons like the Founding Fathers (or 9/11 or...) as a mere political weapon with lofty insistance that they would be endorsed were they alive today.

I think Ron Paul's message is strong enough that we don't need to resort to something like this.

[njandrewg]

I would take out the part about 2 political parties. It sounds like something a 3rd party candidate would say

[Erazmus]

I'm buying several copies of that USA Today... in fact, that will be the secondary story put out in USA Today when we set a single day record sells day for them. ;)

Agreed, can we order this direct from USA Today's website?

[FreedomProsperityPeace]

Awesome!!!

[MsDoodahs]

I'm buying several copies of that USA Today... in fact, that will be the secondary story put out in USA Today when we set a single day record sells day for them. ;)

Yeah, I'm going to buy a bunch and take them around to different spots, leaving them open to that page.

:D

[Robben]

Very nice.

Although I agree with ConceivedInLiberty that there is a dilemma as to how much we should attack parties and also the MSM. The message resonates better if we make Ron Paul Pro freedom rather than ANTI establishment.

[SeanEdwards]

Mad props to Lepard.

A modern day John Hancock, pledging life, fortune, and sacred honor for our revolution. Truly inspiring.

[ronpaulyourmom]

#6 - "conspire" and "pretend" etc... strikes of conspiriacy language, please avoid using that.
#7 - "deliberately" left open... we know this to be true but it comes off as the same thing as #8 - same thing, they're reading the mainstream media, they dont want to be told how bad it is. It'll come off the wrong way.

We need to come across as an honest mainstream alternative, so avoiding these types of buzz words is pretty important.

[coboman]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

[bbachtung]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

You are underestimating the boredom of the airport / hotel / cab. USA Today is distributed at many major hotel chains and is always available at the airport.

As for the ad, all I can say is AWESOME, and THANKS to llepard.

[torchbearer]

The Founding Fathers bit is really presumptuous. Had I not heard of Ron Paul, I wouldn't bother to read far enough down to get to his positions because I don't have much respect for people who use timeless icons like the Founding Fathers (or 9/11 or...) as a mere political weapon with lofty insistance that they would be endorsed were they alive today.

I think Ron Paul's message is strong enough that we don't need to resort to something like this.

From a sociological perspective, Symbols are important. Founding fathers symbolize a return to the founding principles, the constitution, to presume otherwise would also be presumptuous.

[dsentell]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

I find it very eye catching, though I would like to see a larger pic of Dr. Paul.

It dies have a lot of info, but there are people out there who don't know who RP is and if they find this info in their hands, they may be curious enough to take the time to learn.

[robert4rp08]

That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."

[Dlynne]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

In agree with this. I think "would support" is lot less presumptuous.

[Hope]

From a sociological perspective, Symbols are important. Founding fathers symbolize a return to the founding principles, the constitution, to presume otherwise would also be presumptuous.

I'm not presuming they don't mean that, I'm saying that it's laughable to pretend to know who the Founding Fathers would endorse. We would all like to think RP and Ben Franklin would be like two peas in a pod, but the fact remains that to the average person who does not know who RP is, that'll seem like nothing more than a shallow ploy to give a politician false accolades.

[DeadheadForPaul]

I find it very eye catching, though I would like to see a larger pic of Dr. Paul.

It dies have a lot of info, but there are people out there who don't know who RP is and if they find this info in their hands, they may be curious enough to take the time to learn.

It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul

[SeanEdwards]

The Founding Fathers bit is really presumptuous. Had I not heard of Ron Paul, I wouldn't bother to read far enough down to get to his positions because I don't have much respect for people who use timeless icons like the Founding Fathers (or 9/11 or...) as a mere political weapon with lofty insistance that they would be endorsed were they alive today.

I think Ron Paul's message is strong enough that we don't need to resort to something like this.

I kinda agree with this, it does seem presumptuous to put words in dead folks mouths.

I think it's possible that the thing could be re-structured to convey the same effect without turning the founders into spokesmen.

For instance, instead of "We the Founders", how about "The Founder's warned us of..."? And then, something like "Ron Paul is the only candidate who endorses the philosophy of the founders, and the only candidate who shares their vision of liberty, prosperity, and peace. Etc. etc..

[aroberso]

Awesome ad. If folks here can help improve it with their suggestions, great. If not, its still great!

I'm thinking to myself about the types of people that read USA Today. It is a sound-byte type of newspaper, covering things topically and never getting to the meat of things.

This ad will be by far the most "meaty" thing in the paper on that day.

I hope people will treat it almost as an article, and just read it. I think there's enough buzz about Dr. Paul (hopefully even more by then) that we may be pleasantly surprised how many folks take the time to read it.

My humble thanks to Llepard for this.

[Hope]

It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul

I agree.

[Lord Xar]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

[ronpaulyourmom]

Frankly I think its overdone. It's very preachy, and all the bullet points at the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types (steve forbes? Kudlow? Santelli?). Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

[DjLoTi]

It's an ad... jezz... no one can ever get along

[krott5333]

okay, there is way too much negativity in this thread.

I however think it is a nearly perfect ad. I would agree to get rid of the two party line, bump everything up a notch to fill in that space, and add something about making sure to vote for RP in the primaries.

but other than that.. it is AWESOME. I think people would definitely read it, its a full page! And I think it would grab one's attention.

Way to go!

[Vvick727]

idk if putting "Revolution" in would be a good idea

[X_805]

A little too cluttered, and definitely change it to the founders "would" support.

[Menthol Patch]

That is a fantastic ad!

[krott5333]

yes, it has a ton of information, but it is not cluttered. It basically says everything about Ron Paul that needs to be said.

I would like to make these into posters!

[Hope]

Frankly I think its overdone. It's very preachy, and all the bullet points at the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types. Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

That's a really good point. We have to look at this from a marketing perspective.

[Benaiah]

Wow. This ad is going to be amazing. Changes, or not, you are on the right track. Good job.

[freedominnumbers]

It was a good ad in NH and it's a good ad in USA Today.

If I were to suggest anything it might be referencing a call to action to vote in the primaries for Ron Paul as Dlynne suggested.

[Original_Intent]

I kinda agree with this, it does seem presumptuous to put words in dead folks mouths.

I think it's possible that the thing could be re-structured to convey the same effect without turning the founders into spokesmen.

For instance, instead of "We the Founders", how about "The Founder's warned us of..."? And then, something like "Ron Paul is the only candidate who endorses the philosophy of the founders, and the only candidate who shares their vision of liberty, prosperity, and peace. Etc. etc..

I agree. It is a beautifual ad as is, but I also felt that putting words in the Founders mouths - the same message could be conveyed in a better way - I think SeanEdwards suggested a perfect change that I personally think is a better way to word it.

[Hope]

okay, there is way too much negativity in this thread.

I however think it is a nearly perfect ad. I would agree to get rid of the two party line, bump everything up a notch to fill in that space, and add something about making sure to vote for RP in the primaries.

but other than that.. it is AWESOME. I think people would definitely read it, its a full page! And I think it would grab one's attention.

Way to go!


Constructive criticism is not negative. It is not in the least helpful for us to sit around patting each other on the back when the ad could be improved in such a way as to bring more people into the campaign. There is nothing negative about that -- please try to see the difference.

[Vvick727]

maybe send it to the HQ for checking?

this is an important ad, so we need to make sure it's perfect

[X_805]

The points are good, but they need to be tied into actual people's lives and emotions better.

[IHaveaDream]

Very well stated. However, since the ad is speaking on his behalf, Dr. Paul should be fully briefed on its contents and allowed to offer his blessing on it before it's published. The opposition will obviously scrutinize every detail of that ad.

[wealeat]

I agree with removing the negative language towards the 2 parties and the MSM. It is better to be pro something than anti.

I also think it would be wise to add something about the Republican primaries, because that is priority #1 right now.

A bigger picture of Dr. Paul wouldn't hurt.

Other than that, great job!

[llepard]

maybe send it to the HQ for checking?

this is an important ad, so we need to make sure it's perfect

NO WAY. I go to jail if we do that. Do not send communicate withHQ on this adv.

Thanks. L

[mfoley1]

awesome!! one suggestion, reduce the size of the images at the top, shift everything up and enlarge the image of the Ron Paul.

[yoshimaroka]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

What he says.

[SeanEdwards]

Yeah, the part that says "For that reason, We the founders endorse..." kinda bothers me. Wouldn't it be better to say "For that reason, We the People endorse..." These dudes are dead. If we start claiming their support, why can't Rudy do the same thing? We should be announcing that Paul supports the founders, not the other way around.

[krott5333]

awesome!! one suggestion, reduce the size of the images at the top, shift everything up and enlarge the image of the Ron Paul.

good idea! Ron Paul is such a lovely looking gentlemen, we must use that to our advantage!

[Bob Cochran]

Awesome! Running this ad will be dollars well spent.

[thomaseusin]

i was blown away by it, but at the halfway point, i realized that it got a little wordy and toward the bottom everything just got crammed together.

personally like the wording of this slim jim
http://www.ronpaul2008store.com/servlet/Detail?no=8

you guys are awesome!

[atthegates]

i think the ad is perfect...its a full page about ron paul

[krott5333]

NO WAY. I go to jail if we do that. Do not send communicate withHQ on this adv.

Thanks. L

yeah no kiddin

[Bob Cochran]

Yeah, the part that says "For that reason, We the founders endorse..." kinda bothers me. Wouldn't it be better to say "For that reason, We the People endorse..." These dudes are dead. If we start claiming their support, why can't Rudy do the same thing? We should be announcing that Paul supports the founders, not the other way around.
Hmmmmm, good point. The version shown above could use some tweaking.

[aroberso]

I'll be checking USA Today tomorrow (Wed) for this one:

http://blogs.usatoday.com/onpolitics/2007/11/ron-pauls-campa(dot)html

[Mrossca]

This add is amazing and I applaud the people who are putting this together. My only gripe is that the words "RON PAUL" really need to stand out more somehow. Perhaps put it at the top of the page. There will be a lot of "Drive By" viewers. It would be a shame if they never saw the name Ron Paul.

[Highstreet]

It has already hit Facebook and Free Market News Network!!!!

http://www.freemarketnews.com/WorldNews.asp?nid=51343

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2229718737&topic=16326

================
BTW, I agree, it should be run by the official Campaign. They may have some suggestions for marketing appeal and keeping it positive.

[Falseflagop]

L:

Great job, keep it the way it is its your money and I only see positives from it No Negatives!!


Awesome job!

[Leslie Webb]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

> more donations from military personnel

[Vvick727]

NO WAY. I go to jail if we do that. Do not send communicate withHQ on this adv.

Thanks. L

lol k

[Derek Johnson]

Excellent!

4th of July excellent!

Thank Mr. Lepard.....sir!

[dsentell]

NO WAY. I go to jail if we do that. Do not send communicate withHQ on this adv.

Thanks. L

Not to mention that the campaign is not on the same wave length as us and sometimes tends to mess things up a bit - - - ;)

[Menthol Patch]

The very fact that campaign laws like that exist is an abomination. It is a total violation of the first amendment!

I hope Ron Paul will strive to abolish all campaign laws when elected.

[Leslie Webb]

Go with it, and bless you Ilepard for what you are doing for the campaign.

[emilysdad]

Wow, this one is tough for me. I truly admire the effort, however I have to give an honest opinion. I think there is way to much information on this ad. We love it because we understand all the points, but, most readers aren't going to get it and will probably get confused and turned off. The ad needs to lead them to the internet and learn more about Ron Paul.

just my dollar (.02)

[kill the banks]

historic

kill the banks

[RPinSEAZ]

IMO the ad should be mainstream. Keep conspiratorial language out of it and avoid ideas that people automatically think of as fringe. If I saw an ad about a politician that wants to abolish the IRS and the ad didn't explain exactly why it should be done I'd immediately dismiss him. Bold statements are ok as long as you mitigate the shock to the reader with explanations as to why and how.

[Apauled]

Beautiful, Kicks Ass!

God bless You

[Menthol Patch]

People NEED to be shocked! It is the problem today. Most candidates are SCARED to shock people!

[Janet0116]

Take some of the "Warnings" out, in fact, I would take 50% of them out... too many 'warnings' will come across that we are all paranoid freaks that think the government is out to get us, it also makes it seem negative and dark. I see Dr. Paul and positive and light. :)

Also, I agree, make the pic of Dr. Paul much bigger (that's a nice pic!) as he is the one who needs the name/face recognition.

Excellent job!

[Sematary]

Personally, I don't think it will appeal to mainstream America. I think you need to focus on the Iraq war and the economy as your key points.

[Hope]

IMO the ad should be mainstream. Keep conspiratorial language out of it and avoid ideas that people automatically think of as fringe. If I saw an ad about a politician that wants to abolish the IRS and the ad didn't explain exactly why it should be done I'd immediately dismiss him. Bold statements as long as you mitigate the shock to the reader with explanations as to why and how.

Really good points here. We need to make the ad simple, bold and fresh. Not too controversial. Right now it's just too cluttered and intimidating for the average reader.

[JMO]

I don't think it's too much information. do not lessen the information. people that start reading will either be interested in Ron Paul, or be turned off by him. the interested people are who we are looking to get and those people will want more information.

I agree about adding in personal with Military, as it is now it makes it sound like Ron Paul gets the most Military money from the Government.

[klamath]

For the people that say it is crowded, remember that this is a full page ad in a newspaper, not something crammed on a computer screen.

[Ozwest]

The "colonial feel" of the ad is very appealing, and the pictures of the founding fathers are eye catching and suit a black & white format perfectly. The only item I would remove would be the: warned of the dangers of political parties... Very nice, and something to be proud of.

[Vvick727]

People NEED to be shocked! It is the problem today. Most candidates are SCARED to shock people!

actually it seems pretty common to me.

politicians use fear so much its not funny.

[Sematary]

People NEED to be shocked! It is the problem today. Most candidates are SCARED to shock people!

People don't WANT to be shocked. They may NEED it but they don't want it. We are aiming for mainstream America now and what appeals to us doesn't necessarily appeal to the mainstream American. Why do you think Ron Paul's new commercials seem somewhat bland to us?

[dsentell]

The ad needs to lead them to the internet and learn more about Ron Paul.

just my dollar (.02)


Some people do not have or use the internet, especially older people who also may not attend events where they would be exposed to RP supporters bearing slim jims.

These very people get their info from television and newspapers. Needless to say, they aren't likely to learn much about RP on television. So we need to inform them with newspapers . . .

just my $.02

[SwanMaiden]

I would make one small but VERY IMPORTANT SUGGESTION!!! The line that states "End birthright citizenship and illegal immigration" needs to be modified so that it is clear RP intends to end birthright citizenship ONLY for ILLEGAL immigrants. The way it reads now many people will be like "WHAT!?" because they will assume he means to end it period, even for Americans. I know this sounds stupid, but trust me, I have seen this reaction to "ending birthright citizenship" with my own two eyes, until it is explained and then people are almost always for it. Perhaps it could state "End illegal immigration and birthright citizenship for illegals" or something.

[RPinSEAZ]

Personally, I don't think it will appeal to mainstream America. I think you need to focus on the Iraq war and the economy as your key points.

Absolutely! Right now the advert appeals to Ron Paul supporters.

[Hope]

People NEED to be shocked! It is the problem today. Most candidates are SCARED to shock people!

They aren't scared. They are smart enough to realize that you don't teach a voter to swim by throwing him into the deep end with sharks circling round. You have to invite them into warm waters first and very gently teach them how to swim the sea of ideas being put forth. This ad has no context and is pulling in all different directions with little bits of information that can be hardly processed by someone who has never heard of RP before.

I'm afraid that this ad preaches to the choir, and we need something more accessible to the general public.

[Sematary]

The "colonial feel" of the ad is very appealing, and the pictures of the founding fathers are eye catching and suit a black & white format perfectly. The only item I would remove would be the: warned of the dangers of political parties... Very nice, and something to be proud of.

I'd dump that part as well. Replace it with
Only Republican who voted against and opposes the war in Iraq
Only candidate from either party who would begin withdrawal from Iraq immediately upon being sworn in
Only candidate who would not commit our troops to battle in Iran
Only candidate who would defend our borders and would end taxpayer subsidization of illegal imimigration
Only candidate who will abide by the constitution
Only candidate who will ensure that more of our money stays in OUR pockets.

[coboman]

Keep conspiratorial language out of it and avoid ideas that people automatically think of as fringe.

AGREED! The elimination of the Federal Reserve and the IRS, are subjects that need much explanation.
The "Mainstream Media" and the "UN" bits don't stand alone much better.

I would take out those four points.

[ronpaulitician]

Q:

How do I print this ad out? I'd like to have a physical copy in front of me, as that will give me a better idea of what it will look like as an actual printed ad.

[BrianH]

I'm buying several copies of that USA Today... in fact, that will be the secondary story put out in USA Today when we set a single day record sells day for them. ;)

You make a great point. The will likely sell out fast so they should increase the print run.

Great, great ad. No it's not too much text for a full page. It's important that it be comprehensive and this covers the main issues.

[Kapt Nemo]

reading that brought a few tears to my eyes!! Good on ya sir!

[theoddmonkey]

llepard,

I don't know if you've thought of this or if it is even changeable, but did you give thought to putting a secondary email for the contact? Only reason I mention it is because 2.3 million people will see it and you might get a flood of emails as a result. Just pointing it out. Thanks again! The ad looks great!

[Ridiculous]

Yeah, the part that says "For that reason, We the founders endorse..." kinda bothers me. Wouldn't it be better to say "For that reason, We the People endorse..." These dudes are dead. If we start claiming their support, why can't Rudy do the same thing? We should be announcing that Paul supports the founders, not the other way around.

I am in agreement with this. "We the founders endorse" just rubs me the wrong way.

[Leslie Webb]

The ad has the lines 'warned of the dangers of political parties ... etc. '. twice. Please delete one of the lines.

[BrianH]

Maybe should say PHASE OUT the IRS rather than abolish - and else where if the word abolish is used - I know many think this sounds reckless and Ron Paul often uses the words phase out rather than abolish

[llepard]

llepard,

I don't know if you've thought of this or if it is even changeable, but did you give thought to putting a secondary email for the contact? Only reason I mention it is because 2.3 million people will see it and you might get a flood of emails as a result. Just pointing it out. Thanks again! The ad looks great!

Yes, that is an account for that purpose. Thanks.

[jp5065]

I love the fact that somebody is willing to put up this much money for something like this!

But i don't really like the ad. What should the focus of an ad like this be? First it should be to introduce Ron Paul to the millions of people who have never head of him. Hard to believe there are millions, but his name recognition is still low. Second I think it should set the record straight about things that false things people have head about him, but haven't bothered to take the time to look up for themselves.


I think if the ad focuses on a few key issues and debunked some common myths about him I think it would be much more effective.

I also think that "RON PAUL" should be on top of the ad in the biggest size possible. And for even better effect have the text in white and the back ground of "RON PAUL" black.

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In my opinion there isn't nearly enough whitespace... The paper is full of text and images, empty space grabs peoples intention
(if you read anything in this post it was probably this)

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Just my opinion though.. I could be wrong.

[shadowhooch]

Wow, what a bunch of critics.....

llepard,
Don't change a thing if you don't want to. There will be a million different little things to nitpick and critisize....but the message remains the same (Ron Paul is awesome).

Everyone has their own unique way of getting the Ron Paul message out there. Everyone needs to do spread the message their own way instead of attacking others.

Great work and thank you for getting it out there. 3 cheers for llepard!

[krott5333]

The ad has the lines 'warned of the dangers of political parties ... etc. '. twice. Please delete one of the lines.

oh god.

this thread is just too funny.

the picture was obviously split into two.

relax

[LibertyEagle]

that ad is STUPENDOUS.. all the relevent points, and all laid out nicely.

My "only" critique.. not that you are asking.. is this:

"Ron Paul has receive more military donations from any other candidate" -- to me, that could be construed incorrectly... perhaps..

"Ron Paul has received more donations from military personal than any other candidate"

or something like that..

This is a very good point, IMO.

llepard, is it too late to make this small change?

Oh, and I noticed a period is missing after the line on restoring habeas corpus.

[Robben]

IMO the ad should be mainstream. Keep conspiratorial language out of it and avoid ideas that people automatically think of as fringe. If I saw an ad about a politician that wants to abolish the IRS and the ad didn't explain exactly why it should be done I'd immediately dismiss him. Bold statements are ok as long as you mitigate the shock to the reader with explanations as to why and how.

Agree. Although the inflation issue and sound money is hard to explain in an ad.

Also, the msm part. How can Ron Paul restore an honest and unbiased press? Isnt that the job of consumers, not the President? This sounds to much like whining about not getting coverage from the msm.

Also, think hard about the blowback this might have. Will Ron Paul be forced to defend these statements later on? On the other hand, if something controversial is written in the ad it will get more attention form the press, like the petraeus ad did.

About to much negativity in this tread: Whatever the guy whos paying for this ad decides is fine with me, but I dont think he minds some constructive thoughts. So even though I like this ad overall, I think some constructive critisism, for the benefit of all, is OK.

[Bryan]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence
If it wasn't for the large "An Open Letter to the American People" I would agree- but that, to me, grabs your attention- one then proceeds reading it as a letter and not viewing it as some ad IMHO. Obviously not everyone will but those that do will have a larger impact than if everyone did a "drive by" that had a nice picture and a few bullet points.



That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."
That's a good idea.



It just seems to be like it'd be more effective to list 5 or 6 of his positions in big font rather than like 30 in tiny font

Also: "Raising 4.3 million..." You might want to explain "Ron Paul supporters raised 4.3 Mill and set A RECORD" because i bet many people still have no idea about that and we're trying to reach people whp have no idea about Dr Paul
That's a good point.


I think this will get more people thinking than any other ad I've even seen. This is truly historic.

[Ridiculous]

I think by simpy added "Don't you think the founders would support....." would come off a lot better than, "We the founders support....."

[jp5065]

One more thing... maybe you should change "will end the federal income tax"

1. People will think he is crazy because there isn't near enough time to explain to the avg joe how this would work and we would still have roads.

2. It's not really true, The President doesn't have the power to do that and I have heard Dr. Paul say that even if he was elected it likely wouldn't happen.

[llepard]

Agree. Although the inflation issue and sound money is hard to explain in an ad.

Also, the msm part. How can Ron Paul restore an honest and unbiased press? Isnt that the job of consumers, not the President? This sounds to much like whining about not getting coverage from the msm.

Also, think hard about the blowback this might have. Will Ron Paul be forced to defend these statements later on? On the other hand, if something controversial is written in the ad it will get more attention form the press, like the petraeus ad did.

About to much negativity in this tread: Whatever the guy whos paying for this ad decides is fine with me, but I dont think he minds some constructive thoughts. So even though I like this ad overall, I think some constructive critisism, for the benefit of all, is OK.

Absolutely, that is why I posted it. I get input from hundreds of smart, dedicated volunteers. I will amend to reflect best practices.

Deadline is tonight though. We need to give Linda time to turn it around and get it printed formally in newspaper format.

[bp2519]

Hey guys - I can only see the first half of the ad for some reason. Can somebody link to the full ad... maybe on a third party server? Please and thank you

[ronpaulyourmom]

“We have not had a presidential candidate who talked about free markets, who talked about monetary reform, who talked about tax reform the way Ron Paul does since Steve Forbes ran for President. Bravo!”
- Don Luskin, “Trend Macro Chief Investment Officer”

"The key is to tie the dollar to a price range for gold...we'll have a rock solid currency and that'll be good for the economy and good for the global economy as well. Have the dollar as good as gold."
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

"Well how do you measure inflation? You can have a whole argument on that, remember the price of computing power goes down 50% every 18 months, in Ben Bernanke’s eyes that’s deflation, he ignores productivity. We should probably have falling prices but these guys won’t let it happen.”
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

“Competing currencies on deposit? Why not? These things have come up in the past; those are pretty good ideas aren’t they?”
- Larry Kudlow, “Host of CNBC’s Kudlow & Company”

“Yield curve the steepest it’s been in years, and that is traditionally considered a stagflation trait, if it’s steepening with all yields moving lower.”
- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

“I don’t mean this to be political, but when Ron Paul was firing every revolver in Ben Bernanke’s direction, there were a lot of traders cheering down here.”- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”


Just a few quotes I was able to grab from 3rd parties while floating around on Youtube, these are all from November 2007. I firmly believe that we'll convert a whole lot more people with a narrow focus and independent verification on Paul's ideas. EVERYBODY, especially people who read this newspaper, CARES ABOUT THEIR MONEY. The economy is polled to be the most important issue among voters... Let's capitalize on that... I think quotes like this are a good foundation to craft a narrative regarding Ron Paul and the economy. We obviously need some words from the man himself too, but anyway, that's my 2 cents. I don't think the founders ad is the right approach, sorry to be a naysayer.

[RPinSEAZ]

Absolutely, that is why I posted it. I get input from hundreds of smart, dedicated volunteers. I will amend to reflect best practices.

Deadline is tonight though. We need to give Linda time to turn it around and get it printed formally in newspaper format.

Great news, thanks for doing this BTW.

[chrismatthews]

A couple of points.

The Paul campaign has made such strides largely because the message itself is very audacious, don't be afraid to continue in this vein.

Critiques:

1)The message presented lends itself to the "dismissed as conspiratorial" technique too easily.

2)I think it is important to maintain the "anti-establishment" feel that you've captured, but you shouldn't delve into details regarding either party. Remember Reagan's 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not bash other Republicans". I think that given the widespread support for Paul's message we should extend that to Democrats as well. Fight them on the issues but not in the abstract.

3) Change the We the founders to We the people, In the beginning the narrative is from Ron Paul supporters but your summation is a narrative from the founders. You should either make the entire narrative from the founders or the entire narrative from we the people.

4) A common slur against the libertarian ideals are that of a "stopped watch", consider selectively reducing the "warnings" section and instead include quotes from founders that you've used as a figurehead.

Overall its a great them, thank you, sincerely for rising to the occassion, also please consider uploading a .pdf file of the add, and allowing the Paul community to alter and update the existing add.

This grassroots foundation has tapped into the emergent behaviour of spontaneous market order, you should continue to use that incredible force in this draft, by allowing everyone that is willing and able to better this add the opportunity to do so.

[FreeTraveler]

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.

[lisajames96]

Very inspiring. Maybe you could take out the MSM warning and make Dr. Paul's picture bigger. Can't wait to buy the paper no matter what.:)

[SeanEdwards]

Wow, what a bunch of critics.....

llepard,
Don't change a thing if you don't want to. There will be a million different little things to nitpick and critisize....but the message remains the same (Ron Paul is awesome).

Everyone has their own unique way of getting the Ron Paul message out there. Everyone needs to do spread the message their own way instead of attacking others.

Great work and thank you for getting it out there. 3 cheers for llepard!

This was posted as a "Draft". The people making editing suggestions are not being negative. They're trying to help improve the final product.

Negative would be a post that said: "What a waste of money." etc.

Ultimately, Mr. Lepard of course will have the final say on how his money is spent. It will be up to him to decide what if any editing suggestions he uses.

If there's any negativity in this thread, it's coming from the people griping about the "critics".

[Sematary]

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.

He asked for input. We're giving it to him. He is, obviously, free to print whatever his heart desires. That is what makes America great.

[partypooper]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

agree. or omit altogether. the analogy with the founders is already strong, there is no reason to speak for the founders directly.

[bdillahu]

<removed by poster>

[RPinSEAZ]

Let's remember that llepard is the one putting his dough, and his life and sacred honor at risk here. This is a tremendous action he's chosen to take, and it seems like there are a lot of people immediately ready to completely take over and spend his money and risk his freedom as if they were in charge.

I don't want to come off too harsh here, but regardless of what you think of the ad, I think it's amazing that someone is making this kind of investment, both of finances and of his reputation. Obviously, lots of time and energy went into his planning, and while I'm sure he's looking to tweak this ad to make it the best possible, those of you who think it should be completely different, torn up and redone, etc, need to take out your own ad with your own money and risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC if you're not happy with his efforts.

Respectfully, I would suggest the change about birthright citizenship makes sense, and so do some of the other tweaks, but the ad as it stands will have a huge impact, and for that we should be appreciative.


We're appreciative, in fact there's a whole thread thanking him. This is the thread where he asked for constructive criticism and that's what we're giving him. Let's stay on topic.

[jp5065]

risk your own freedom by going up against the FEC .

it is perfectly legal, check the FEC website! :D

[krott5333]

I agree with the idea of underlining "Ron Paul will ............................."

[ronpaulyourmom]

Many people who see the ad will already have some impression of Ron Paul... certainly not all, but some. We must be careful not to reinforce any negative pre-dispositions they have. No matter which issues we push, we must be careful how we word it at the very least.

[TruckinMike]

One BIG problem.

You didn't mention one of the most important things in his life.????

He is a God fearing Christian.

Any Christian reading this would definitely want to see that he was as well. I do not believe it would turn away the athiest vote, but it would keep away the Christian vote... at least on some level.

remember Huckabee... he has'em locked up. We need them at the primaries... THEY VOTE!

TruckinMike

[kylejack]

Add ronpaulishope.com? Very nice, though.

[ronpaulitician]

"Ron Paul would stop the war and bring our troops home."

There may be a reason to have "our" here, but all other references have "your" when the Founding Fathers talk about the current state of the US.

[Ozwest]

It would be a shame if the ad became too "timid" as a result of over-tampering in an attempt to pacify all readers foibles. This ad points to the dangers America faces and the solutions required in a clear and informative manner.

[krott5333]

when will the ad be run?

[specsaregood]

BTW, I agree, it should be run by the official Campaign. They may have some suggestions for marketing appeal and keeping it positive.

NO! We/He CAN't DO THAT. The official campaign has NOTHING to do with this and they can't for legal reasons.

I love the ad, as-is. You are a true patriot llepard!

[krott5333]

It would be a shame if the ad became too "timid" as a result of over-tampering in an attempt to pacify all readers foibles. This ad points to the dangers America faces and the solutions required in a clear and informative manner.

I agree. People need to be informed of these things. They might sound conspiratorial, but they haven't seen nothin yet!

(and they wont :cool: )

[Ridiculous]

There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism.

When you look at grassroots plans and actions to support Ron Paul, you have to also think of how people who don't like Ron Paul might attack your ad or action.

It isn't living in fear of the media or anything like that it is just smart risk assessment.

Here is what people who do not like Paul will probably say about that ad:

"Who are these Ron Paul supporters to say who the founders would endorse, that is totally presumtious?"

This could be avoided by simply changing some words around, the message could stay the same You could take out "We" and have it just be "The Founders..." and it would work just as well and it doesn't come of as the founders themselves are endorsing Ron Paul. Then at the end instead of "For these reasons we the founders support" it could be "Don't you think the founders would support..."

Those simple changes would allow the ad to have the same impact and it would avoid the negative press that will result from putting words in the mouths of the founders....

[Ron Paul Fan]

I think the ad is great and wouldn't change a thing. Run it!

[FreedomRings]

A few quick points that hit my eye:


1) I'd split up the following into two sentences as I think it will "flow" better that way and increase the impact upon the reader:

They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way, but we have strayed from their wise counsel.

Change to:

They warned us that it was our responsibility to keep it that way. But we have strayed from their wise counsel.


2) (AS others have pointed out) - I wouldn't present the text from the founders' point of view. It sounds a bit as if they are lecturing the readership, or even looking down on them because they screwed up the country. Additionally, from a meta perspective, putting words into the mouths of people who died a long time ago might come across as overly confident or even arrogant on the writer's part.

How about writing this from the more inclusive "we" perspective:

The Founders...

...warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now we must labor nearly six months of the year to pay our taxes at all levels as the economy ......


3) Below the warnings, it says "For these reasons, We The Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution."

This could be changed to something like:

If (actual names of founders) were alive today, they would support the Ron Paul Revolution.

That is in line with point 2. Also, putting the actual names there would make it more personal.

[TruckinMike]

It would be a shame if the ad became too "timid" as a result of over-tampering in an attempt to pacify all readers foibles. This ad points to the dangers America faces and the solutions required in a clear and informative manner.


I concur. This ad is powerful.

TM

[MRoCkEd]

i like it

[LibertyEagle]

I am concerned about the statement... "replace federal reserve notes with honest money".

Has Paul said that, or has he said something alone the lines of allowing competition in currency?

Of course, they won't understand that, without more explanation. But, is what is there now, accurate? I think it might totally freak people out and make them think that either he wants some kind of new currency like the Amero, or make them carry around gold coins and in the end, will cause financial chaos.

[kylejack]

I am concerned about the statement... "replace federal reserve notes with honest money".

Has Paul said that, or has he said something alone the lines of allowing competition in currency?
Correct, Ron Paul would not do away with Federal Reserve money, but allow free market alternatives like Liberty Dollar to compete without prosecution, and removing taxation on commodities like gold and silver. That should probably be re-worded.

[FreedomRings]

I am concerned about the statement... "replace federal reserve notes with honest money".

Has Paul said that, or has he said something alone the lines of allowing competition in currency?

"replace federal reserve notes with honest money"

could be changed to

"replace federal reserve notes with hard, inflation-free money"

[bp2519]

Hey guys - I can only see the first half of the ad for some reason. Can somebody link to the full ad... maybe on a third party server? Please and thank you

Please :D

[dwdollar]

Many here are too picky! I wouldn't change anything on it. It is going to catch some eyeballs the way you have it now.

[purplechoe]

Very nice!

[Bryan]

This ad points to the dangers America faces and the solutions required in a clear and informative manner.
Perfectly stated- some of the points can be fixed up a bit but this is the clear message.

[aknappjr]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper. Also, might the NY Times be better, for though its a statist newspaper, many other newspaper editors and writers and publishers regularly read the NY Times, and don't read the USA Today. Also, it might make the NY Times writers write more favorably about the good Dr. Paul.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day.

[AFM]

Beautiful.
How much did that cost may I ask? Was it cheaper to go with USA Today?
Washington Post or NY Times seem better.

[francisco]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

[Ridiculous]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

+1

[torchbearer]

Does Ron Paul water down his message for stupid people? No. He expects people to learn... to water-it-down, would be to deceive with half-truths. So, your ad gets them to look into ron paul, but they don't like the idea of getting rid of the IRS..and thus leaves.. what have you gained?
Otherwise... if someone is open to the idea... you've peeked an interest.

Ron Paul didn't get this far in his campaign by making his message "mainstream".. mainstream is becoming more Ron Paul... let us not reverse that trend by trying to spoon feed our ignorant brothers and sisters.

[krott5333]

Does Ron Paul water down his message for stupid people? No. He expects people to learn... to water-it-down, would be to deceive with half-truths. So, your ad gets them to look into ron paul, but they don't like the idea of getting rid of the IRS..and thus leaves.. what have you gained?
Otherwise... if someone is open to the idea... you've peeked an interest.

Ron Paul didn't get this far in his campaign by making his message "mainstream".. mainstream is being more Ron Paul... let us not reverse that trend by trying to spoon feed our ignorant brothers and sisters.

THANK YOU! RIGHT ON!

[kylejack]

In fact, Ron Paul clearly does cater his message to his audience. His statement at the Value Voters thing was far different than his statement in pro-abortion crowds. I agree with many of francisco's points. I don't think its all that important to include the bit about birthright citizenship. As President, he would play no part in the amendment process anyway.

[DeadheadForPaul]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. y.

I agree with the above poster. While I think this ad is incredible, I question whether the average person will.

In marketing classes, they teach you that you have about 5-8 seconds to catch someone's attention. I think the verbose wording and cluttered nature of this ad take away much of its power. Let's take a step back and consider: WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO RON PAUL - that is the most important question.

Before I became a passionate Ron Paul supporter, I did not know ANYTHING about Fiat Money, the NAU, the Gold Standard, the national I.D. act, etc. and I was pretty well informed compared to the general population. Most people will see a lot of the stuff listed in the ad and think "um...what? anyway...." and move on

What attracts people are: 1.) Opposition to Iraq War 2.) Low Taxes 3.) Small Government 4.) Gun Rights 5.) Support of civil liberties

Also, this ad needs to focus less on what hte Founders stood for and more of what Ron Paul will do

After we grab them with THOSE positions, then they can learn more. We dont need to list 90 positions

[krott5333]

I agree with the above poster. While I think this ad is incredible, I question whether the average person will.

In marketing classes, they teach you that you have about 5-8 seconds to catch someone's attention. I think the verbose wording and cluttered nature of this ad take away much of its power. Let's take a step back and consider: WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO RON PAUL - that is the most important question.

Before I became a passionate Ron Paul supporter, I did not know ANYTHING about Fiat Money, the NAU, the Gold Standard, the national I.D. act, etc. and I was pretty well informed compared to the general population. Most people will see a lot of the stuff listed in the ad and think "um...what? anyway...." and move on

What attracts people are: 1.) Opposition to Iraq War 2.) Low Taxes 3.) Small Government 4.) Gun Rights 5.) Support of civil liberties

After we grab them with THOSE positions, then they can learn more. We dont need to list 90 positions


also a good point.

[literatim]

I think it would be better to mention stuff about Ron Paul.

God fearing Christian, OB/GYN who delivered 4,000 babies, etc. Some Reagan quotes about him would be good too.


Yeah, the part that says "For that reason, We the founders endorse..." kinda bothers me. Wouldn't it be better to say "For that reason, We the People endorse..." These dudes are dead. If we start claiming their support, why can't Rudy do the same thing? We should be announcing that Paul supports the founders, not the other way around.

Agreed.


I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

I agree.

[davidkachel]

That's beautiful!

One suggestion though. It's a sea of text and nothing really pops out at you. It might help to bold, underline, italicize key words. Ron Paul, liberty, freedom, etc. Or like in that first section, underline the sentences that say "Ron Paul will....."

NO!!! Don't do that. It violates practically every rule of design. NEVER, EVER underline or use bold. Italicize sparingly.

Try making the text smaller and putting more white space between paragraphs. This will open it up and make it easier to commit to reading.

[ronpaulyourmom]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement).

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day.

I really couldn't agree more with those statements... I really suck at this and it's a bit presumptous of me, but I'm throwing it out there anyway. It needs a lot of work and some additions for website etc... but yeah..

http://kartikeya.dreamhosters.com/Econ-ad.JPG

Quotes that could be used, among many others I'm sure:
“We have not had a presidential candidate who talked about free markets, who talked about monetary reform, who talked about tax reform the way Ron Paul does since Steve Forbes ran for President. Bravo!”
- Don Luskin, “Trend Macro Chief Investment Officer”

"The key is to tie the dollar to a price range for gold...we'll have a rock solid currency and that'll be good for the economy and good for the global economy as well. Have the dollar as good as gold."
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

"Well how do you measure inflation? You can have a whole argument on that, remember the price of computing power goes down 50% every 18 months, in Ben Bernanke’s eyes that’s deflation, he ignores productivity. We should probably have falling prices but these guys won’t let it happen.”
- Steve Forbes speaking on the Gold standard and Ron Paul

“Competing currencies on deposit? Why not? These things have come up in the past; those are pretty good ideas aren’t they?”
- Larry Kudlow, “Host of CNBC’s Kudlow & Company”

“Yield curve the steepest it’s been in years, and that is traditionally considered a stagflation trait, if it’s steepening with all yields moving lower.”
- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

“I don’t mean this to be political, but when Ron Paul was firing every revolver in Ben Bernanke’s direction, there were a lot of traders cheering down here.”- Rick Santelli, “Chicago bond trader, CNBC contributor”

[DeadheadForPaul]

I think this is a great first draft, but I have some particular ideas that I think would improve the impact. In the spirit of constructive criticism:

--I find this phrase at the bottom offputting: "We the Founders support the Ron Paul Revolution...". IT SEEMS TO PUT WORDS IN THE MOUTHS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS who after all are long dead and I don't think we should presume to say that they support a particular candidate. Documented ideas, yes; a now-living person, no.

--A little cluttered. Sometimes "less is more"

--Suggest putting the phrases "Ron Paul would..." at the end of each bullet point in bold.

--The phrase at the top before the bullet points should be amended to "The Founders" instead of "We the Founders" for similar reason to my first point; we can't put our own words, particularly words that say "Ron Paul would", in their mouths. It doesn't even make sense, they didn't know Ron Paul.

--IMPORTANT: the contacts for learning more / joining the movement / donating need to be more prominent. Reduce some of the less universally appealing bullet points to free up more acreage. Make it so the reader's eye is drawn to an impetus for action on his part--calling a number, visiting a website, making a donation. I think the most important things we need to do with an ad like this are first to improve name recognition, and then recruit new supporters.

Thank you again for this incredible initiative. It speaks volumes about the strength of support for Dr. Paul's freedom message. No other candidate has anything like it. My suggestions are only my small effort to improve the presentation.

Agree with all of this post +1

[ronpaulitician]

What are the dimensions of a USA Today page?

[Ron Paul Fan]

More is better and that's the beauty of this ad. You could read it for days and not get bored of it. It's visually stunning and packs the punch needed to get people to look more into this obscure Congressman that has the support of American heroes. A complete overhaul like some are suggesting are not needed and frankly would be a little dissapointing because this is gold!

[Ethek]

A couple of points.

The Paul campaign has made such strides largely because the message itself is very audacious, don't be afraid to continue in this vein.

Critiques:

1)The message presented lends itself to the "dismissed as conspiratorial" technique too easily.

2)I think it is important to maintain the "anti-establishment" feel that you've captured, but you shouldn't delve into details regarding either party. Remember Reagan's 11th commandment, "Thou shalt not bash other Republicans". I think that given the widespread support for Paul's message we should extend that to Democrats as well. Fight them on the issues but not in the abstract.

3) Change the We the founders to We the people, In the beginning the narrative is from Ron Paul supporters but your summation is a narrative from the founders. You should either make the entire narrative from the founders or the entire narrative from we the people.

4) A common slur against the libertarian ideals are that of a "stopped watch", consider selectively reducing the "warnings" section and instead include quotes from founders that you've used as a figurehead.

Overall its a great them, thank you, sincerely for rising to the occassion, also please consider uploading a .pdf file of the add, and allowing the Paul community to alter and update the existing add.

This grassroots foundation has tapped into the emergent behaviour of spontaneous market order, you should continue to use that incredible force in this draft, by allowing everyone that is willing and able to better this add the opportunity to do so.

I think this sums up everything said up until page 13. I think that point 4 is a big opportunity.

[craezie]

LOVE the ad, and LOVE you for personally sacrificing your $$ and efforts for Ron Paul.

Since you wanted comments, I think that the overall plan is awesome and looks great. I am a designer, and from a "design" perspective, the bottom is kind of crowded. You don't really have to re-state all of the items on the left side, because most of those points were brought up in the main ad. (and its kind of amateur to have one column, then switch to two to crowd in more info)

To me, the priority should be the right column, stating his personal characteristics. Its already obvious what he stands for from the main ad. His personal achievements are powerful compared to phoney politicians!

The other thing that should be more clear is that he is a REPUBLICAN running in the Rep. primary. I was an independent until I switched a couple of days ago to vote for RP. The ad reads like a 3rd party thing, and it should be clear that he is part of the republican party. With some people, this lends credibility (not me) Kind of hard to bash the 2 party system when Ron Paul has made it clear himself that he will not go outside of the said system.

[krott5333]

I think everyone makes good points. Less can be more. But less is also less. I dont think you can attract everyone.

If I hadn't known about Ron Paul prior to seeing this, I bet it would make me a supporter. I think most people just assume that the average USA Today reader is a mindless yuppie.. but if that was the case, no ad would work.

I do think the picture of Ron Paul should be bigger, and "Ron Paul will.... " lines should stand out..either bold, italicized, or underlined.

[tsetsefly]

okay, I think it comes of way to strong and will only alienate people by putting them on the defensive, its more of a "blame america" ad than anything, I think we need to show the good qualities of ron paul without sounding so demeaning...

The bottom part of the ad is fine...

[DeadheadForPaul]

LOVE the ad, and LOVE you for personally sacrificing your $$ and efforts for Ron Paul.

Since you wanted comments, I think that the overall plan is awesome and looks great. I am a designer, and from a "design" perspective, the bottom is kind of crowded. You don't really have to re-state all of the items on the left side, because most of those points were brought up in the main ad. (and its kind of amateur to have one column, then switch to two to crowd in more info)

To me, the priority should be the right column, stating his personal characteristics. Its already obvious what he stands for from the main ad. His personal achievements are powerful compared to phoney politicians!

The other thing that should be more clear is that he is a REPUBLICAN running in the Rep. primary. I was an independent until I switched a couple of days ago to vote for RP. The ad reads like a 3rd party thing, and it should be clear that he is part of the republican party. With some people, this lends credibility (not me) Kind of hard to bash the 2 party system when Ron Paul has made it clear himself that he will not go outside of the said system.

Especially agree on the Republican thing. This ad kind of has a Libertarian Party tone to it with the anti-2 Parties stuff

[aknappjr]

We don't have the money, time, nor resources, to educate the necessary 50 million Americans on the benefits of the Constitution. That's not our goal. Our goal is to win Dr. Paul the Republican Nomination. To do that, you need to convince them that Ron Paul is a nice popular guy who is consistent and a true conservative.


Re the ads:
Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper. Also, might the NY Times be better, for though its a statist newspaper, many other newspaper editors and writers and publishers regularly read the NY Times, and don't read the USA Today. Also, it might make the NY Times writers write more favorably about the good Dr. Paul.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day. Also, I would plan this ad for Dec. 15-16 weekend.

[craezie]

By the way, let's all remember that its YOUR ad, YOUR money and YOU can do whatever you want!

[ronpaulyourmom]

By the way, let's all remember that its YOUR ad, YOUR money and YOU can do whatever you want!

for sure. :)

[Cindy]

Is there a copyright to this or can anyone use it? I'd like to make copies to pass out.

[ronpaulyourmom]

okay, I think it comes of way to strong and will only alienate people by putting them on the defensive, its more of a "blame america" ad than anything, I think we need to show the good qualities of ron paul without sounding so demeaning...

The bottom part of the ad is fine...

Kind of have to agree with this, and I'm an anarchist... so that cant be good hehe.

[Dequeant]

I like it....as is. I will definently be buying this one.

[Grandson of Liberty]

Awesome!

Thank you llepard! You, sir, are a true patriot!

[castor]

This NEEDS addressing!!!

What is the primary goal of this newspaper ad? It is to get his name out there. Its brand recognition. Most people skip over ads. They will only glance for things that pop. That is why "Ron Paul" should be in huge bold font in the middle 50% of the ad somewhere.

The ad talks a good talk, but it looks like its about the constitution. And it says revolution. People don't like change and Id be willing to bet most fall asleep when they hear about the constitution. Having those points in there is necessary, but again remember what the primary goal of this is: RON PAUL RECOGNITION!!

Lets talk about this please. I would hate for llepard to have paid for this and have people not even glance at it.

[Jodi]

Brought tears to my eyes!!!

[JMann]

GREAT JOB! Like most people I probably have my own idea's of a few minor adjustments but opinions are like... Thanks for taking the time and money for putting that out for your country. I like the length of the ad because I can see people on planes and buses reading it from top to bottom looking for something to kill time and being surprised that there is a candidate running that represents those views. A few other may be horrified but who cares.

[Man from La Mancha]

I love it and will leave the finer adjustments to the rest of you, but what I would like to see is the Tea Party more prominently displayed along with bigger Ron Paul letters.

.

[Joey Wahoo]

One suggestion: I'd remove the reference to the MSM. I agree with it, but why provoke them? They've helped our campaign a lot recently.

Otherwise, outstanding work!

[Bruehound]

As a political consultant I would normally advise against so much text but this ad will be a huge success in prospecting for people who hunger for and lean toward constitutional government and have not yet heard of Ron Paul. This will work very well and boost Dec. 16.

I am more amazed at how many people here make comments about "ending the Income Tax" being too radical for consumption. If anything, it piques curiosity and leads many people to further research his full position on the issue. Get some stones you weak critics.

Abolish the IRS.... Say it outloud, it feels good!

[Buggan]

I really like the add, very nice!
However there are a few things you could do to make it even better:

The diffrent "Warned..." segments are a bit agressive in their tone, although I fully agree with the message I'm not sure the mainstream American will. Some of the statements should be toned down a bit, make it more of a "conversation" than a debate.

The expression "Kill your darlings" also comes to mind, meaning that you should cut away some of the points in the add (not from the bottom part, that part is awsome imo). I would take away the part about two political parties, the part about "mainstream media" and the part about government stealing your liberties (the last part). This is essential if you want ppl to remember the message, and then you need to have a bit fewer arguments. Make it sharper, a spear instead of a club(?)

Anyway would be cool if you took some of these points to mind.

And thank you so much for for what you are doing, we need more ppl like you in the world.

[Ozwest]

okay, I think it comes of way to strong and will only alienate people by putting them on the defensive, its more of a "blame america" ad than anything, I think we need to show the good qualities of ron paul without sounding so demeaning...

The bottom part of the ad is fine...

I disagree that people will interpret the ad as "blaming America." Outlining the increasing problems facing America today due to non adherance to its Constitutional principles is a powerful message which will impact the reader.

[Santa Barbarian]

This might not fit the current version of the add, but I thought that a title along the lines of:

"I PERSONALLY JUST SPENT $123,123.00 TO TELL YOU THIS:"


If I knew one guy just spent so much money to tell me something, I think I would spend a little time to read it. I know this isn't the most humble approach, but it might catch some interest.

[Ozwest]

One suggestion: I'd remove the reference to the MSM. I agree with it, but why provoke them? They've helped our campaign a lot recently.

Otherwise, outstanding work!

Pleeeeeze don't remove that part!

[Original_Intent]

Wow so much negativity - not talking about you Hope!

There are definitely tweaks that I would do, especially the "We the Founders..." part, but those wanting a massive rehash I think are crazy, it is very eye-catching exactly as it is, and I think it will do a great job of bringing new people.

[michaelwise]

In the black box at the bottom I would add to read;

Join us on December 16th
in the Money-bomb
for the largest one-day
fund-raiser for any Political
candidate in history.
Be a Part of it.

The money-bomb is sort of the grassroots signature effort.

[MsDoodahs]

People will be stuck in airports, with plenty of time to sit and read this unique ad.

This is going to be fantastic!

[cien750hp]

main suggestion i have is make RON PAUL and his picture bigger and maybe use the r3VOLution sign instead of the word "revolution"
else its great man, your amazing for doing this!

[LJHudd]

LOVE the idea for this ad... it's going to be great, I can't wait to see it in the paper and it'll be awesome if it comes out the day before Thanksgiving.

Thank you for doing this.

[Shellshock1918]

Looks great!

[0zzy]

This might not fit the current version of the add, but I thought that a title along the lines of:

"I PERSONALLY JUST SPENT $123,123.00 TO TELL YOU THIS:"


If I knew one guy just spent so much money to tell me something, I think I would spend a little time to read it. I know this isn't the most humble approach, but it might catch some interest.

...THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY.
Coulda bought me a house! :)

But, I think it might not attract people. "Getting rid" of the Federal Reserve and IRS. and replacing the federal reserve notes with honest money. He wants competing currency though. Hrm... it's pretty good though :)

[t3rmin]

First time poster here, and let me begin by thanking you for doing this! You are a credit to us all, sir!

And to chime in with previous suggestions: I'd feature "Ron Paul" more prominently in bigger type; name recognition is huge and I didn't come away with his name stuck in my head, nor did it pop-out at first glance.

Less clutter - people have short attention spans. I hear all the time about web design that if you don't catch people within the first few seconds (the first glance), and on the first page (no scrolling), you've lost 'em. If you grab their attention with a few concise, interesting points, they'll be sure to hit the web for the details. And as somebody else mentioned, graphic designers will tell you white space can be more effective than more words, even if they're great words.

And finally I'd definitely be careful about conspiratorial language that'll automatically disqualify the rest of the message in some people's minds (this is a big one). You want people to understand this isn't politics as usual, but it's not a bunch of wackos, either. ;-)

Overall I love the theme and the black&white thing. I'm sure whatever you go with, it'll have a positive impact. I'm excited!

[son of liberty]

very, very classy. I love it.

[Texan4Life]

looks good. But one thing I would say would be to some how emphasize ronpaul2008.com as the official website. Like to make the text larger and/or bold or in parenthesis put " official campaign website". Or larger and centered above the others.

[paradoxalist]

First thanks to llepard for this generous and patriotic gesture.

The whole concept was brilliant. A few quick thoughts: you might emphasize the military donations, source it, whatever. Also emphasize the 5th of November, the idea that there is a grass fire movement that is spreading. It's about momentum!

You might consider a picture of Dr. Paul that is equivalent in size to the Founders. You might also insert a quote near the end, from Judge Andrew Napolitano that Ron Paul is the Thomas Jefferson of our day.

Anyway, this is damned awesome. Thanks again!

Adam

[ShowMeLiberty]

First, once again - my sincere THANKS to llepard and all involved in making this happen. What an inspiration you are for the rest of us.

As for critique, I agree with those who have suggested changing the "We the Founders" text to something like "the Founders would". Less presumptuous, more accurate.

Also agree that all of the "you must labor", "your growing debt" should be changed to "we" and "our". We're all in this together, right? Left as it is, it comes off sounding somewhat confrontational, "holier than thou", rather than what I assume is intended - we have a mess on our hands that we need to clean up together.

Lastly, I'd also cut the lines about two political parties and MSM, if only to make space for a larger picture of Ron Paul and a slightly larger font for the checkmark points at the bottom. Those checkmark points are what really convinced me that no one but Ron Paul is even qualified for the job!

Really looking forward to the ad's publication. What an outstanding day for the revolution that will be!

[rasheedwallace]

my hats off to you!

how much is all this costing?!

[Electrostatic]

Frankly I think its overdone. It's very preachy, and all the bullet points at the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types (steve forbes? Kudlow? Santelli?). Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

qft...:eek:

[Cindy]

maybe send it to the HQ for checking?

this is an important ad, so we need to make sure it's perfect

No One do that!!!

This is an indpendent project. In no way shape or form can the official campaign have any say or suggestion in this.

It's the only way that much money can be spent on it. FEC regulations!

Sorry if this was already mentioned.

[Steve4RP]

Love it! It is amazing to me to see the sacrifice and determination of a true grass roots effort.

[adwads]

I would emphasize that donations are to be made at ronpaul2008.com. I also agree with the suggestion to say "the founders would" as opposed to "we the founders." Otherwise its a great ad!!! Thanks llepard. I think you and I have had our differences in the past, but this is a great thing your doing.

[Henry]

More is better and that's the beauty of this ad. You could read it for days and not get bored of it. It's visually stunning and packs the punch needed to get people to look more into this obscure Congressman that has the support of American heroes. A complete overhaul like some are suggesting are not needed and frankly would be a little dissapointing because this is gold!

In so far as USA Today, it was founded on the premise of "less is better". They knew that trend then and for the future, that a large segment of the poulation are and will be reading less. Have a look at their stories vs. the same coverage in let's say the NY Times.

My opinion is also that it appears clutterd, and does not lend itself to USA Today's reader.

Many thanks again for what you have done.

[RPatTheBeach]

TOO MANY CHEFS SPOIL THE SOUP

Mr. Lepard, this is your money, do with the ad as you please. I think it is fantastic as it is, and you are MORE than an asset to this campaign

[Electrostatic]

In so far as USA Today, it was founded on the premise of "less is better". They knew that trend then and for the future, that a large segment of the poulation are and will be reading less. Have a look at their stories vs. the same coverage in let's say the NY Times.

My opinion is also that it appears clutterd, and does not lend itself to USA Today's reader.

Many thanks again for what you have done.

I agree... You are awesome for doing this, but I don't thinks that's the right add for the audience..

[Electrostatic]

TOO MANY CHEFS SPOIL THE SOUP

Mr. Lepard, this is your money, do with the ad as you please. I think it is fantastic as it is, and you are MORE than an asset to this campaign

It IS fantastic... For Ron Paul fans. But, it's completely wrong for the target audience. If you don't already know the truth behind the issues and also that he is running for the Republican nomination it's going to look like a third party spoiler showed up and put "too many words" on the page. This is A LOT of money he will be paying and he deserves to know the truth.

[Tidewise]

The ad is fricking awesome. Period.

[Ron Paul Fan]

In so far as USA Today, it was founded on the premise of "less is better". They knew that trend then and for the future, that a large segment of the poulation are and will be reading less. Have a look at their stories vs. the same coverage in let's say the NY Times.

My opinion is also that it appears clutterd, and does not lend itself to USA Today's reader.

Many thanks again for what you have done.

No no no. USA Today readers like pictures. They like different and creative. When they see this ad they'll say, "Hey! This blends in really nice with the rest of the newspaper, yet it's creative enough to catch my fancy! Who is this guy, Ron Paul? Never heard of him, but I will now read this fantastically put together ad and learn more! Thanks llepard!"

And then they will read the ad, go to ronpaul2008.com and donate and we all live happily ever after. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. USA Today readers aren't stupid. They are business travelers and hotel stayers. They will have a lot of down time and will need something interesting to read and as I said, you could read this ad for days and not get bored. It would be a shame to eliminate anything from this beautiful ad because it is perfect for our target audience.

[Ron Paul in 2008]

#1- I don't know anything about the gov planning a military draft and I doubt that it will ever be implemented. Its debateable so to put it right off the bat will take away from the legitimacy of the message.

#2- Instead of saying Ron Paul "would" end... say Ron Paul "will".

Ex: Ron Paul will end inflation and the IRS.

#3- The founding fathers' warned us about mass immigration. I will definitely include it and it will certainly grap a readers attention. Here is what Thomas Jefferson said about immigration:

http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/jefferson/quotations/jeff1280.htm



"[Is] rapid population [growth] by as great importations of foreigners as possible... founded in good policy?... They will bring with them the principles of the governments they leave, imbibed in their early youth; or, if able to throw them off, it will be in exchange for an unbounded licentiousness, passing, as is usual, from one extreme to another. It would be a miracle were they to stop precisely at the point of temperate liberty. These principles, with their language, they will transmit to their children. In proportion to their number, they will share with us the legislation. They will infuse into it their spirit, warp and bias its direction, and render it a heterogeneous, incoherent, distracted mass... If they come of themselves, they are entitled to all the rights of citizenship: but I doubt the expediency of inviting them by extraordinary encouragements." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia Q.VIII, 1782. ME 2:118

"A first question is, whether it is desirable for us to receive at present the dissolute and demoralized handicraftsmen of the old cities of Europe? A second and more difficult one is, when even good handicraftsmen arrive here, is it better for them to set up their trade, or go to the culture of the earth? Whether their labor in their trade is worth more than their labor on the soil, increased by the creative energies of the earth?" --Thomas Jefferson to J. Lithgow, 1805. ME 11:56

"Although as to other foreigners it is thought better to discourage their settling together in large masses, wherein, as in our German settlements, they preserve for a long time their own languages, habits, and principles of government, and that they should distribute themselves sparsely among the natives for quicker amalgamation, yet English emigrants are without this inconvenience. They differ from us little but in their principles of government, and most of those (merchants excepted) who come here, are sufficiently disposed to adopt ours." --Thomas Jefferson to George Flower, 1817. ME 15:140

[Electrostatic]

please compare it to the one we ran before the straw poll...

http://ronpaulmosaic.com/ad/ames_ad_ron_paul_140dpi.jpg

this actually caused the paper it was run in to have to do an extra printing.

[Original_Intent]

Give USA Today readers a smidge of credit - at least they are reading rather than sitting at home half asleep on the sofa allowing their brains to be Hannitized!

I don't think it is overly words or cluttered.

I think it will play well to the target audience.

I agree that saying "We the Founders support..." should be changed, but that's my opinion and it's Llepard's money.

I agree that too many chefs spoil the soup.

If people think they can do better, pony up, or get 1200 people to chip in $100 and do your own.

[LibertyEagle]

No no no. USA Today readers like pictures. They like different and creative. When they see this ad they'll say, "Hey! This blends in really nice with the rest of the newspaper, yet it's creative enough to catch my fancy! Who is this guy, Ron Paul? Never heard of him, but I will now read this fantastically put together ad and learn more! Thanks llepard!"



BINGO. Ron Paul Fan has it nailed. USA Today is a totally different kind of newspaper than all the others.

[Electrostatic]

BINGO. Ron Paul Fan has it nailed. USA Today is a totally different kind of newspaper than all the others.

Maybe, but I think at least the part about political parties should be changed, it should mention somewhere what he is running for (the nomination of the republican party),

[austin356]

Everyone here seems to have forgot WHEN this ad will be run

It will be run the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
-It will be one of if not the largest family travel day of the year.
-Mothers/fathers sitting in the front seat of the car reading the paper while their spouse drives to grandma's.
-Family's aboard airplanes and in airports trying to find something, anything to read to help pass the time during the delays.
-This paper will be the paper that is laying around the house during Thanksgiving. -This will create the largest opportunity yet this year for "political discussion" between family members.
-I think this paper will be read by over 6-8 million readers instead of the usual much lower count.
-People actually have time to read an ad like this on this particular day.


This is the single best day of THE ENTIRE DECADE to run this ad.


GREAT JOB.

[Ron Paul Fan]

Maybe, but I think at least the part about political parties should be changed, it should mention somewhere what he is running for (the nomination of the republican party),

You mean YES! RON PAUL FAN IS RIGHT AS USUAL! I agree with you though, he is running as a Republican. Minor adjustments like this and grammatical errors I like. But complete overhaul I think would be a horrendous mistake.

[Sey.Naci]

please compare it to the one we ran before the straw poll...

http://ronpaulmosaic.com/ad/ames_ad_ron_paul_140dpi.jpg

this actually caused the paper it was run in to have to do an extra printing.
THAT IS FANTASTIC!

[Electrostatic]

Everyone here seems to have forgot WHEN this ad will be run

It will be run the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
-It will be one of if not the largest family travel days of the year.
-Mothers/fathers sitting in the front seat of the car reading the paper while their spouse drives to grandma's.
-Family's aboard airplanes and in airports trying to find something, anything to read to help pass the time during the delays.
-This paper will be the paper that is laying around the house during Thanksgiving. -This will create the largest opportunity yet this year for "political discussion" between family members.
-I think this paper will be read by over 6-8 million readers instead of the usual much lower count.
-People actually have time to read an ad like this on this particular day.


This is the single best day of THE ENTIRE DECADE to run this ad.


GREAT JOB.

Well, OK, I didn't know that. But there are still some minor points that should be changed.

[LibertyEagle]

Maybe, but I think at least the part about political parties should be changed, it should mention somewhere what he is running for (the nomination of the republican party),

I agree that there are some things that should be changed and I have said so. The biggest one to me, had to do with money. I don't think Ron Paul has ever said he will get rid of Federal Reserve Notes. I'm not sure what to change it to, so that people will understand and not be freaked out, either.

I do think a previous poster had a good point in saying that in some of this, we may be biting off more than we can chew.

It's up to Llepard. It's his money.


Originally Posted by ronpaulyourmom
... the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types (steve forbes? Kudlow? Santelli?). Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

[MsDoodahs]

This is the single best day of THE ENTIRE DECADE to run this ad.


GREAT JOB.

:D:D:D

[jake]

the mosaic ad from the straw poll is a beauty.. really stunning

[Thomas Paine]

I ditto some of the other comments regarding taking out the reference to the two parties and making it much clearer that Ron Paul is a candidate seeking the GOP nomination. In fact, you may want to insert the election dates for Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina. If the ad starts to seem crowded, then look to remove redundant language. My experience with campaign ads is that "less is more." The more blank space there is in an ad, the more the reader's attention will be drawn to the message.

[deedles]

Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think wording it as if the founders are saying this is a bit presumptuous. Better for you, the writer of the ad to use their words as example. I find it puts me off just a bit worded the way it is.

Another thought, would it be possible to switch the pics so that all of them are facing the center of the page? It would be more 'balanced'. Like when you hang a pair of portraits, you always hang them so they 'face' each other rather than away from each other.

Nice job! Applause for you!!!!:):):):)

[Sey.Naci]

Might use that quote, which works well with suggestions about rephrasing from "We the Founders" to something like "The Founders would"...

[austin356]

In fact, you may want to insert the election dates for Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina.


Irrelevant to 98% of the readers since only around 2% of readers will be from those states.


There is an angle to this that is probably the right one. 70% of Americans want nothing to do with Republicans right now. We should promote Ron Paul first, Republican second.

The benefits of making it very much obvious that he is running as a Republican will be much more than offset by the negatives that are associated with the word "Republican" right now.

But if it could somehow be inserted as a secondary for people who are really interested then that would be fine.

[american.swan]

Yeah know, in the time he has to put this together there is no way he can make everyone happy and no way to reach every single reader. If only 10% of the readership decides to vote for ron paul due to this ad, then that is 200,000 votes right there. Which would be less then one fiat dollar per vote.

Think about it.

[traitorist]

Ron's picture/name needs to be larger and more at eye level in the ad. Thanks for what you are doing.

[max]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

it doesnt come off as cluttered on a full page...

i ran this ad in NH Union Leader and it looked great...

It's really gratifying to see my work being rolled out nationwide...I see you made some changes but it's all good..

thank you so much..

[american.swan]

I think this ad buy is great. I totally respect and agree with it. It reaches a good cross section of the population.

I want people to understand that this ad won't get bubba joe, bubba smith, and bubba henry to vote for ron paul because bubba don't buy newspapers. There is still much to be said about the benefits of good old fashion foot work. :)

[Mordechai Vanunu]

Don't use the word "revolution". It will turn off more conservative people. Just say the founders would support Ron Paul.

[bootstrap]

near the top, change "set up" to "establish".

[max]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think wording it as if the founders are saying this is a bit presumptuous. Better for you, the writer of the ad to use their words as example. I find it puts me off just a bit worded the way it is.

Another thought, would it be possible to switch the pics so that all of them are facing the center of the page? It would be more 'balanced'. Like when you hang a pair of portraits, you always hang them so they 'face' each other rather than away from each other.

Nice job! Applause for you!!!!:):):):)

the wording is fine as is...

americans need to be bitch slapped a little by the founders

too many cooks ruin the broth

[llepard]

Everyone here seems to have forgot WHEN this ad will be run

It will be run the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
-It will be one of if not the largest family travel day of the year.
-Mothers/fathers sitting in the front seat of the car reading the paper while their spouse drives to grandma's.
-Family's aboard airplanes and in airports trying to find something, anything to read to help pass the time during the delays.
-This paper will be the paper that is laying around the house during Thanksgiving. -This will create the largest opportunity yet this year for "political discussion" between family members.
-I think this paper will be read by over 6-8 million readers instead of the usual much lower count.
-People actually have time to read an ad like this on this particular day.


This is the single best day of THE ENTIRE DECADE to run this ad.


GREAT JOB.

Damn clever those RP supporters. I can't take credit for much, but running it on this day was my idea and I am really psyched because I am all about bang for the buck. This is a lot of money, for me, or anyone else. But when I thought about the impact it might have on this day I thought, hey, good risk/reward ratio.

Let's go for it. Just seemed right. I was afraid I would be ridiculed for doing it. eg: why are you wasting your money. or you are on an ego trip. Now I am glad I followed my gut. I really did feel like something or someone was speaking to me, telling me to do it. My deceased grandfather and father are looking down with pride, or so I hope. I sure miss them.

BTW, RP reminds me so much of my Grandfather it is scary.

[LibertyEagle]

One last thing I want to ask. Now that we have a version of "A New Hope" without the polygamy reference, would it be better to direct them to this new version, or is Stop Dreaming, still the one?

[LibertyEagle]

You go, llepard! We have not gotten this far without someone, something, looking over our shoulders. Of that, I feel sure. :)

[axiomata]

Can we add a colorful pie chart somewhere? ;)

j/k, it looks great. I do agree with some of the suggestions mentioned though.

[MadOdorMachine]

I've been lurking on these boards for awhile now, but these advertisments Paulites are paying for has finally brought me to post. I think volunteering to create and pay for these ads are noble and selfless, some of them could do more harm than good. I should note that I'm 28, a Christian and a veteran currently employed with the Federal Government.

I can tell you that a lot of people will instantly skip this ad simply because of the draft statement. Is there any proof to this at all? If there isn't, scrap it asap. It's not credible and therefor makes the entire ad uncredible. It's damaging to Ron Pauls image and it will do the opposite of what's intended.

Change the perspective from singular to plural. In other words, change you & your to us & our. The way it's written right now looks like whoever wrote the article is pointing his finger at everyone else. It comes off as being judgemental and "holier than thou" the way it is currently written.

The bullet about the media also lacks punch. It makes no sense to bring up the MSM whenever, 1.) You're using them to get this very ad out. 2.) Trying to indicate that Ron Paul will communicate effectively. It's irrelevant and once again makes him look bad. It would be more effective if the comment was directed toward how the American people have come to expect lies and corruption from the government, and that Ron Paul has not taken any money from lobbyists or become corrupt in "X" number of years in Congress.

Other than that everything looks good, but those issues above are pretty damaging in my opinion. Kudos to the guys doing this, just becareful your plan doesn't backfire.

[Falseflagop]

My uncle was a WW2 veteran and recently died. He was like a grandfater and all he could talk about was RON PAUL because he helped the Vets!! Now he lived in NY and I asked him how do you know RON PAUL and he said from the Veteran letters he use to get, RON PAUL use to write to the Vets all the time. ANd he says I hope I make it to vote for him in Feb primaries but he died a month and a half ago. But his dream and our dream lives on RON PAUL will be our next PRES!! And with supporters like US we can do this!! Again thanks L !!

[Joey Wahoo]

I've been lurking on these boards for awhile now, but these advertisments Paulites are paying for has finally brought me to post. I think volunteering to create and pay for these ads are noble and selfless, some of them could do more harm than good. I should note that I'm 28, a Christian and a veteran currently employed with the Federal Government.

I can tell you that a lot of people will instantly skip this ad simply because of the draft statement. Is there any proof to this at all? If there isn't, scrap it asap. It's not credible and therefor makes the entire ad uncredible. It's damaging to Ron Pauls image and it will do the opposite of what's intended.

Change the perspective from singular to plural. In other words, change you & your to us & our. The way it's written right now looks like whoever wrote the article is pointing his finger at everyone else. It comes off as being judgemental and "holier than thou" the way it is currently written.

The bullet about the media also lacks punch. It makes no sense to bring up the MSM whenever, 1.) You're using them to get this very ad out. 2.) Trying to indicate that Ron Paul will communicate effectively. It's irrelevant and once again makes him look bad. It would be more effective if the comment was directed toward how the American people have come to expect lies and corruption from the government, and that Ron Paul has not taken any money from lobbyists or become corrupt in "X" number of years in Congress.

Other than that everything looks good, but those issues above are pretty damaging in my opinion. Kudos to the guys doing this, just becareful your plan doesn't backfire.

I love the ad, but I strongly agree with these comments. We continue to get great publicity in the MSM and they're no longer ignoring or laughing at us. Why provoke them with this ad? We gain nothing.

I also agree that the draft thing is a little over the top. I have no doubt that if we don't change our policies we'll someday have a draft but it comes off as a little paranoid right now.

But at the end of the day, its your baby, so go with what makes you happy.

God bless you for this.

[Bryan]

it doesnt come off as cluttered on a full page...

i ran this ad in NH Union Leader and it looked great...

It's really gratifying to see my work being rolled out nationwide...I see you made some changes but it's all good..

thank you so much..

No, thank you max. The central ingredient that make this ad so powerful is timeless.

[Ibtz]

I think the ad looks great!

[Benaiah]

I agree on the wording of "you and your" to "us and our."

[MsDoodahs]

I believe the reference to a draft should remain in the ad, because it promotes dialogue among Americans as to how further interventions in ever more places will be managed without one.

This will get the moms to look at RP and his message.

JMO.

MsD

[Midnight77]

December 16th needs to be prominently displayed in the Ad somewhere. It's in there, but not prominently enough.

This date needs to stick in people's minds.

[lastnymleft]

llepard - Well done, Sir. Well done.

Content issues aside, there's a structural issue I see in the ad. The 'Warnings' section is the 'Problem', and the 'Support RP' section is proposed as the 'Solution', but the link between the two is a bit sharp, and weak. You need a segue. I think RP's connection to the Constitution is that segue. Something like:

We warned...
We warned...
(etc)

Ron Paul is the undisputed Champion of the Constitution, having unwaveringly fought to defend it for over 30 years, and that's why we support the Ron Paul Revolution...
(or some such)

etc etc.

[Revolution9]

I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

Blah blah.. Run your own ad. His rocks.. You are implying people buy the newspaper to just look at the pretty pictures. Not much logic there as far as I can see.

Randy

[Revolution9]

Looks pretty for constitution buffs, but how many voters will this ad persuade? Not many in my view. USA Today readers tend not to be constitution buffs (understatement). How about making the ad look like a combination of a few of the slimjims...maybe with something catchy so that people read it.

Know your audience - USA Today readers. Pick up a copy of the USA Today and make an ad that is somewhat like the ads already in this newspaper. Also, might the NY Times be better, for though its a statist newspaper, many other newspaper editors and writers and publishers regularly read the NY Times, and don't read the USA Today. Also, it might make the NY Times writers write more favorably about the good Dr. Paul.

No offense, but I'm a huge Ron Paul fan and supporter and I would just pass right on by this founding fathers ad on an average day.

Horrible idea. Absolutely mockingly horrible.. What is with you busybodies on this thread. No question mark because it is a rhetorical statement.

Randy


Randy

[lastnymleft]

please compare it to the one we ran before the straw poll...

http://ronpaulmosaic.com/ad/ames_ad_ron_paul_140dpi.jpg

this actually caused the paper it was run in to have to do an extra printing.

If you're going to run that ad again, you might want to note that, in that context, "ensure" is the correct word, not "insure".

[austin356]

Horrible idea. Absolutely mockingly horrible.. What is with you busybodies on this thread. No question mark because it is a rhetorical statement.

Randy


Randy



Thanks for saying it.


-Austin

[Ron Paul in 2008]

I believe the reference to a draft should remain in the ad, because it promotes dialogue among Americans as to how further interventions in ever more places will be managed without one.

This will get the moms to look at RP and his message.

JMO.

MsD

I strongly believe the draft reference should be taken out. The ad is to promote Ron Paul, not a national dialogue. Once we get him the nomination the dialogue will start. Personally, if I was reading the ad and read the military draft part I would probably brush it aside. Basically, lets not say more than necessary. Leaving it at saying we shouldnt be fighting wars overseas is more than enough. The draft sounds like speculation/conspiracy. People have been saying for years that Iraq would have a draft and we never did. I highly doubt we will have a draft as it will be political suicide for anyone.

I also will restate that every Would should be changed to Will. It sounds more decisive.

[Revolution9]

I think it would be better to mention stuff about Ron Paul.

God fearing Christian,.

Wrong. Poeple will get the impression he is a part of the evangelical theocracy and not the kind of Christian you mean. That word "God fearing" is dirty in many parts of the country where there are huge pockets of urban voters who feel that the evangelicals are control freaks wielding the cudgel of Gods wrath and fearmongering based on this premise.. They will not easily make the distinction. This is not about religion anyways. This is about The Presidency and religion should not be a public part of it. We all may pray for Ron as we see fit..or not as our internal beliefs may be..but there are alot of non-christian secular folks as well as Wiccans, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and the various Native and shamanic religions as wel here in the melting pot of America.

I do not fear God. I was told by my church elders when i was an altar boy that Jesus came to do away with the Old testament Law and God was not to be feared as he loved me.. So..why should I fear the wrathful deity of the old testament when he has the characteristics of a war god and a Molochian set of rituals and mindset paradigms.

Best
Randy

[max]

I can tell you that a lot of people will instantly skip this ad simply because of the draft statement. Is there any proof to this at all? If there isn't, scrap it asap.

just becareful your plan doesn't backfire.

this is the same CRAP we heard from the naysayers of Nov. 5th...

FYI.....there IS talk of a draft...you havent been following..RP himself has said it

do u really think we could occupy Iran without a draft??

To the gentleman running this ad with HIS money....pay no mind to these naysayers...JUST DO IT BABY!

[traitorist]

Wrong. This is not about religion anyways.

yet your whole post WAS about your religion?

[amonasro]

There is talk of a draft, isn't there always when our military is becoming overextended and recruitment is low? However, there is no imminent draft plan in the works. I think it should be rephrased, otherwise the ad is perfect.

[european]

Oke here is my feedback. I know this is a huge amount of money, and I deeply respect you for making this move. People like you make people like me believe in America again. To honor your move I did my little check on your great ad. I used my salesbackground to see which improvements there could be made. I must say upfront that due to culture differences, the strategies that work in Europe might not apply in America, but still I want to share my 2 cents.
Some golden rules I always teached my salesteams and accountteams:
- rule number 1 - 5 are all the same: What Is In It For Me? Think like your (potential) customer. What would trigger him/her, what is important to him/her? don't sell on USPs, sell by knowing what the person is looking for. The USPs are nice to name later.
- people will buy when they like you / children are gold
anyways, that way you can place my criticism into context, so here we go:


Great eyecatcher at the top with the photos the background and the title (perfect title).
"but we have strayed from their wise counsel"
maybe replace with positive words: "now it is time to life up to their wise counsel". Or something alike, english isn't my first language so probably i'm not that good in using poetic sentences.



...warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now you must labor nearly six months of the year to pay your taxes at all levels as the economy groans beneath the cruel burden. Ron Paul would reduce taxes and eliminate the IRS.

I actually learned about Ron Paul when I was watching Freedom to Fascism of Aaron Russo. I did a background check of some people in that documentary because I had a hard time believing the statements made. Abolishing the IRS seems hard to believe. Also the interviews I have seen, in which this issue was adressed, the journalists always ask "how" because its such a revolutionary thought. People have a hard time believing it. Maybe add: Ron Paul would reduce taxes and eliminate the IRS. We will still have the same tax-income as in the year 2000 and we save bilions of dollars by withdrawing our troops.
Or at least something like that. Adds to the credibility of this opening line and its a bridge to the 2nd point aswell.



...warned of the dangers of political parties. Now you have two powerful parties that conspire against the people, plundering you while they pretend to oppose each other. Ron Paul would return the government to the people.
I'm not american so i'm not sure how people feel in your country. This seems a bit conspiracy like though. Specially since that word is used. I'm not sure how people will feel when they read this. Probably part will like it, and a part will be turned away by it. Specially with the "crazy" image of Ron Paul supporters im not sure if such a thing should be included. Might be good to get rid of the "crazy" image to open the door to new voters.



...warned of the importance of an honest, independent and unbiased press. Now your centralized "Mainstream Media" is full of propaganda, distortions, and omissions. Ron Paul would communicate honestly.
This advertisement is placed in one of the most populair mainstream media of america. My question is: Does this bulletpoint add to the credibility of your message in the eyes of the people that buy this newspaper?



"For these reasons, We The Founters support the"
I read this comment before. It is a bit pretentious in my eyes. adding the word "would" adds to the credibility and still holds the same message value.
Same goes for "We advise you to support" which might be better if it was "we would advise you to support".



Raising $4,3 million in one day got their attention. Who's attention? What is so special about $4,3 million? I read in the newspaper about billions every day. Maybe state something like: raising $4,3 million in one day made headlines. or something like that.
Join us on December 16th.. Join the 80.000 donors for the largest one-day... etc. According to http://ronpaulgraphs.com/total_donors.html there have been 80k+ donors, which sound more impressive then "us".



The bulletpoints at the left and the right bottomsides are great in my opinion. Not cluttered at all. The lines are put in by a genius, it devides the parts perfectly which makes it very well readable.


/me bows for L.

[traitorist]

the OP asked for people's thoughts on the ad. some folks here have a real problem with hearing people's legitimate critiques and ideas, don't they?

[Bryan]

the OP asked for people's thoughts on the ad. some folks here have a real problem with hearing people's legitimate critiques and ideas, don't they?


Let's just keep it civil. :)

[jb4ronpaul]

Oke here is my feedback. I know this is a huge amount of money, and I deeply respect you for making this move. People like you make people like me believe in America again. To honor your move I did my little check on your great ad. I used my salesbackground to see which improvements there could be made. I must say upfront that due to culture differences, the strategies that work in Europe might not apply in America, but still I want to share my 2 cents.
Some golden rules I always teached my salesteams and accountteams:
- rule number 1 - 5 are all the same: What Is In It For Me? Think like your (potential) customer. What would trigger him/her, what is important to him/her? don't sell on USPs, sell by knowing what the person is looking for. The USPs are nice to name later.
- people will buy when they like you / children are gold
anyways, that way you can place my criticism into context, so here we go:


Great eyecatcher at the top with the photos the background and the title (perfect title).
"but we have strayed from their wise counsel"
maybe replace with positive words: "now it is time to life up to their wise counsel". Or something alike, english isn't my first language so probably i'm not that good in using poetic sentences.



...warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now you must labor nearly six months of the year to pay your taxes at all levels as the economy groans beneath the cruel burden. Ron Paul would reduce taxes and eliminate the IRS.

I actually learned about Ron Paul when I was watching Freedom to Fascism of Aaron Russo. I did a background check of some people in that documentary because I had a hard time believing the statements made. Abolishing the IRS seems hard to believe. Also the interviews I have seen, in which this issue was adressed, the journalists always ask "how" because its such a revolutionary thought. People have a hard time believing it. Maybe add: Ron Paul would reduce taxes and eliminate the IRS. We will still have the same tax-income as in the year 2000 and we save bilions of dollars by withdrawing our troops.
Or at least something like that. Adds to the credibility of this opening line and its a bridge to the 2nd point aswell.



...warned of the dangers of political parties. Now you have two powerful parties that conspire against the people, plundering you while they pretend to oppose each other. Ron Paul would return the government to the people.
I'm not american so i'm not sure how people feel in your country. This seems a bit conspiracy like though. Specially since that word is used. I'm not sure how people will feel when they read this. Probably part will like it, and a part will be turned away by it. Specially with the "crazy" image of Ron Paul supporters im not sure if such a thing should be included. Might be good to get rid of the "crazy" image to open the door to new voters.



...warned of the importance of an honest, independent and unbiased press. Now your centralized "Mainstream Media" is full of propaganda, distortions, and omissions. Ron Paul would communicate honestly.
This advertisement is placed in one of the most populair mainstream media of america. My question is: Does this bulletpoint add to the credibility of your message in the eyes of the people that buy this newspaper?



"For these reasons, We The Founters support the"
I read this comment before. It is a bit pretentious in my eyes. adding the word "would" adds to the credibility and still holds the same message value.
Same goes for "We advise you to support" which might be better if it was "we would advise you to support".



Raising $4,3 million in one day got their attention. Who's attention? What is so special about $4,3 million? I read in the newspaper about billions every day. Maybe state something like: raising $4,3 million in one day made headlines. or something like that.
Join us on December 16th.. Join the 80.000 donors for the largest one-day... etc. According to http://ronpaulgraphs.com/total_donors.html there have been 80k+ donors, which sound more impressive then "us".



The bulletpoints at the left and the right bottomsides are great in my opinion. Not cluttered at all. The lines are put in by a genius, it devides the parts perfectly which makes it very well readable.


/me bows for L.

Lots of great feedback here. To reach the largest audience, considering it is USA Today also, I would think it a good idea to remove some of the more radical points (makes it less wordy too so more people are likely to read) and reword some of the points to sound more positive. I would think it's best to reach out to the average American with this as much as possible. I have seen that that flier is even a bit of a turn off for some people who are already Ron Paul supporters, so I would think so much more for an average person.