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DJ RP
11-13-2007, 06:05 PM
Oke here is my feedback. ..

...



Great constructive Feedback.

Guys there is a difference between offering feedback in a good way, being courteous and explaining your reasoning and being disrespectful to other people's ideas.

A lot of the feedback in this thread is good constructive feedback that could maximise the potential of the advert. Some of the posters though just come across like negative naysayers who love to bring people down because it makes them feel good.

madcat033
11-13-2007, 06:08 PM
Wow... a full page ad in USA Today? Dude, you fucking ROCK!

This is a huge contribution to the campaign. Thank you!

traitorist
11-13-2007, 06:11 PM
To the gentleman running this ad with HIS money....pay no mind to these naysayers...JUST DO IT BABY!

HIS money, yes, OUR candidate.

again, the OP asked for people's thoughts on the ad. people are giving very good constructive criticism, and in the spirit of Ron Paul's campaign, I think it wise to hear what "the people" think about it.

one thing to consider is that the opposition (no doubt they are even here watching what we are doing) will use any and all opportunities to tar and feather Ron Paul. it is WISE to think all things through as far as ads go, especially the one that will have the reach of this one.

you don't think that the ad is going to just fall in to FRIENDLY hands do you? those in power that oppose what Dr. Paul stands for will use whatever means they can to make sure he does not win the nomination. don't give them any freebies.

i'll take wisdom over foolish pride any day.

surf
11-13-2007, 06:12 PM
Thanks. That's all i have to say. i like it.

traitorist
11-13-2007, 06:12 PM
Let's just keep it civil. :)

agreed.

Pete Kay
11-13-2007, 06:13 PM
It needs work, but is very okay overall. It looks a bit too much like a local ad, not an ad that you would see in a national newspaper. I strongly suggest that you submit this ad for editting amongst the supporters and pick the best design. There are great graphic artists here.

*I like the idea of showing what the Founding Fathers said, but I am strongly against saying that the Founding Fathers actually support Ron Paul. That is an outright lie. They are dead. That actually offends me very much. Imagine if any other candidate made that claim. Or said that Ronald Reagan supported them.

I think that ad needs to display Ron Paul more prominently.

Also this should not be called an "open letter" when it's not written as a letter but more like an advertisement.

*I reccomend having quotes from the Founders, Lincoln, and Reagan then showing Ron Paul's quotes. This was very effective in the "Stop Dreaming" video and goes to show the wisdom of Ron Paul.

Jmaths117
11-13-2007, 06:20 PM
Hi folks.

This is a good ad if you are aiming it towards Ron Paul supporters.

Whoever designed this ad must realize that the average person does not know what you know about Ron Paul. We have ideas in ours heads that make this ad intriguing and easy to understand when you already know about Ron Paul, but when you have no clue who he is, there are several elements that are off-putting.

1. Many people mentioned putting words in the Founders' mouths. This cannot be done.

2. Eliminate all conspiracy-like words. People are conditioned to feel an aversion towards conspiracy theories, so this would make people stop reading.

3. Elaborate more on certain subjects, such as the $4.2 million in one day. Explain why that is significant.

4. Word choice must be changed in many places. Lots of posts in this thread provide better word choice.

5. Instead of saying "you" say "we".

Everything else is great. It's eye-catching, easy to read, and well-organized. I like how it constantly repeats Ron Paul's name.

I am extremely grateful that you sacrificed the amount of money that you did. You have no idea how ipmortant this could be if done correctly. Perhaps you could contact a professional advertisement agency for help, if you have no already done so. Or perhaps someone else could.

Thanks for reading.

Naraku
11-13-2007, 06:23 PM
I'd just like to highlight the positive points of this ad first:

I think everyone here is forgetting how people read an ad or newspaper. People skim first, read second.

People are going to read the big text introducing this, maybe read a few of the "warnings" and then look at where it mentions Ron Paul. Then they'll maybe read the warning in a little more detail say, "Well I'm not sure about this, but I like that!"

Then if people are really interested they'll read further on his record and life history as well as the Tea Party since that's prominent.

Also, I think some of you are assuming too much about people. Most actually would agree with the sentiment that government is deliberately allowing illegal immigration, destroying people's saving, that the party system is screwed up, and hardly anyone's different, a lot of people like the idea of getting rid of the IRS and income tax, though they'd want to know how you do it, and the planning of a draft is something people understand is being pushed by some. Most will not read these things and say, "I'm not gonna read this advertisement." The fact is, people react to ads differently from articles and political speeches. They'll read what interests them and if enough points interest them or one really stircks out, they'll look into it more.

Having the Founders dress down the reader is, I think, a very crucial hook for this advertisement. The idea is that if the Founders saw what our country was like today, they'd be pissed. This conveys the message really well.

My problems with this are not that big.

The BIGGEST thing is RON PAUL IS A REPUBLICAN RUNNING IN THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES. There is no mention of this anywhere in the ad, which I think is absolutely crucial to at least be mentioned.

Also I believe the Media mention should be altered because it has nothing to do with Ron Paul and government. Instead put something in about flip-flopping or deceitful politicians using talking points and rehearsed answers. That way Ron Paul communicating honestly makes more sense.

TexicanLady
11-13-2007, 06:24 PM
I would change the wording slightly to make it more positive. For example: On the 4th warning line I would put "Ron Paul WILL stop inflation by restoring real money". The word "would" leaves me with the impression that he "would" have done something IF he could have. The word "will" puts more of a mindset that he IS going to win and make those changes. Everywhere that it says "Ron Paul would", needs to say "Ron Paul will" Think Positive! He WILL do those things because he WILL win the election.

ETA: I've read repeatedly that the candidate who's name is seen and heard the most will win (even if the publicity they are getting isn't very good.) The most important thing is to get his name in front of high numbers of people and get it there often.

JMO
11-13-2007, 06:25 PM
I don't think the Negatives are bad, people in America love and fear negative news. if you candy coat it you won't grab the attention as well. the average voter wants to feel that if we don't vote for this candidate we are doomed.

Joey Wahoo
11-13-2007, 06:27 PM
...warned of the dangers of political parties. Now you have two powerful parties that conspire against the people, plundering you while they pretend to oppose each other. Ron Paul would return the government to the people.
I'm not american so i'm not sure how people feel in your country. This seems a bit conspiracy like though. Specially since that word is used. I'm not sure how people will feel when they read this. Probably part will like it, and a part will be turned away by it. Specially with the "crazy" image of Ron Paul supporters im not sure if such a thing should be included. Might be good to get rid of the "crazy" image to open the door to new voters.



...warned of the importance of an honest, independent and unbiased press. Now your centralized "Mainstream Media" is full of propaganda, distortions, and omissions. Ron Paul would communicate honestly.
This advertisement is placed in one of the most populair mainstream media of america. My question is: Does this bulletpoint add to the credibility of your message in the eyes of the people that buy this newspaper?


.

I strongly agree with these two comments. We're seeking the nomination of the Republican party, and we've got a lot of Republicans to win over. So why trash the party that Ron Paul has been winning elections in for over 20 years?

And PLEASE reconsider trashing the media. Just today we got lots of positive publicity from those who used to ignore us. As I've learned before, if you take on the media, you'll always lose. They are not the enemy in this election.

I greatly admire you for doing this. Hope you don't mind the sincere feedback.

Ron Paul in 2008
11-13-2007, 06:30 PM
I think saying "We the founders" is a little presumptuous. I think it will be A LOT better if it was changed to "The founding fathers warned"

Jmaths117
11-13-2007, 06:30 PM
Such excellent advice in this thread, I really hope Llepard is reading this.

nayjevin
11-13-2007, 06:33 PM
I'm not presuming they don't mean that, I'm saying that it's laughable to pretend to know who the Founding Fathers would endorse. We would all like to think RP and Ben Franklin would be like two peas in a pod, but the fact remains that to the average person who does not know who RP is, that'll seem like nothing more than a shallow ploy to give a politician false accolades.


Frankly I think its overdone. It's very preachy, and all the bullet points at the bottom about Ron Paul's record does nothing to establish why these are good ideas. It's the usual stuff that scares people off. Abolishing the IRS, replace money, what?!?! stuff like that...

I think a better idea is focus on one issue, the fall of the US dollar, and why Ron Paul is the solution to this problem. Then lets back it up with quotes and opinions from CNBC types (steve forbes? Kudlow? Santelli?). Old people who read the people will think about their savings, working professionals will think about their future, etc... If we're going to address this issue, lets use the whole ad to do it. We can make quick mentions about foreign policy and how this ties into the massive overspending.

Lets think about the audience and lets think about how we can really really break through and get them thinking, not bombard them.

I agree with all of this. Never did like this ad for the general public.

I love the ad for me -- I just think it's a poor choice for the public.

texasbelle
11-13-2007, 06:40 PM
That Ad totally rocks!!!!!! You are a true patriot llepard!!

James R
11-13-2007, 06:52 PM
Obviously the final result will be just one pic- I had to break it up here for speed reasons. Post your thoughts.

Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

Mark
11-13-2007, 06:56 PM
Who's buying the next ad?
Maybe, if you don't like it the way it is,
create an ad you do like,
and pay for it. Yourself.

http://www.revmark.org/forumfiles/ad.htm

SgtBulldog
11-13-2007, 07:06 PM
Only one suggestion to add: change all the verbs to active voice. Instead of saying "Ron Paul would change the world," say "Ron Paul will change the world." Utilizing active voice is a very critical aspect of good, persuasive communication.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html

Proemio
11-13-2007, 07:08 PM
Who's buying the next ad?
Maybe, if you don't like it the way it is,
create an ad you do like,
and pay for it. Yourself.

http://www.revmark.org/forumfiles/ad.htm

Yup - great ad - wouldn't change a thing.

Falseflagop
11-13-2007, 07:08 PM
Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

DON"t Changeanything!

MadOdorMachine
11-13-2007, 07:11 PM
this is the same CRAP we heard from the naysayers of Nov. 5th...

FYI.....there IS talk of a draft...you havent been following..RP himself has said it

do u really think we could occupy Iran without a draft??

To the gentleman running this ad with HIS money....pay no mind to these naysayers...JUST DO IT BABY!

Is there any proof there will be a draft? It's more likely that there will be incentives for people to enlist in the military (ex. sign on bonuses etc.) than another draft occurring. Yes, there is talk about it, but it's out of fear. Right now there are no signs of an imminent draft, yet the ad implies it's in the planning stages. The ad points the finger and sounds accusational. If there's no evidence to back it up, it's not useless, it's counter-productive. It will hurt the credibility of Ron Paul, and will enforce the idea that Ron Paul supporters are fanatical, conspiracy theorist loons. That's exactly what we don't need. As far as occupying Iran goes, where on God's green earth are you getting this information from? How does the U.S. or Israel bombing nuclear facilities equal occupation? The statement isn't factual, plain and simple. Comparing it to naysayers of the 5th of November has no legs either. There's a big difference between people being doubtful a significant amount of money would be raised and a person stating the goverment is secretly planning to bring back the draft. One of them is a passive opinion, the other is an aggressive fallacy.

krott5333
11-13-2007, 07:11 PM
Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

BRAVO!

James R
11-13-2007, 07:13 PM
Who's buying the next ad?
Maybe, if you don't like it the way it is,
create an ad you do like,
and pay for it. Yourself.

http://www.revmark.org/forumfiles/ad.htm

I disagree. The draft was posted so we could recommend changes. Why else would it be posted? I want Ron Paul to win and don't care about slightly damaging someone's self esteem regarding their skill with words. The bottom line is that the ad can be improved a bit and it would be crazy not to improve it.

disciple
11-13-2007, 07:14 PM
I think saying "We the founders" is a little presumptuous. I think it will be A LOT better if it was changed to "The founding fathers warned"

Agree.

Or "We were warned by the founding fathers"

Vvick727
11-13-2007, 07:15 PM
Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

YES. PICK THIS.

Jmaths117
11-13-2007, 07:17 PM
This is what an anti-Ron Paul guy said on another forum:


i think its GREAT!!!!
lollololol.... non ron paul fans will see u all for the conspiracy theoriest goof balls u are....LOOOOOL!

I really think the message needs to be tempered. It would not be smart to ignore the advice in this thread.

jabbott0
11-13-2007, 07:19 PM
First I'd like to thank Lawrence for stepping up and putting his own time and money on the line for this ad. I have some [hopefully] constructive criticism. After looking at this ad, it didn't jump out at me like the Iowa Straw Poll ad (http://www.ronpaulpresshub.com/images/amesad_final.jpg). The first reason is "We the People" vs. "We the Founders". This new ad is putting words into the Founders' mouths by saying they support the Ron Paul Revolution. That is just not right. Using "We the People Support Ron Paul for President" instead is much more appropriate.

Also, many of the statements in the ad appeal only to 10% of the population. Rather than having lots of "10% statements", there should be a few "100% statements" (ones that everyone can agree with).

The current ad doesn't mention of primary elections. I don't mean to be negative -- I just want as many USA Today readers as possible to know why and when to vote for Ron Paul after reading the ad. Good luck with the ad!

dwdollar
11-13-2007, 07:25 PM
Well... looks like this thing will be sanitized...

Nickel
11-13-2007, 07:25 PM
Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

This is excellent. The only thing I would add is "would" to the Founding Father's support statement:

For these reasons, we The Founding Fathers would support
Ron Paul For President

tmg19103
11-13-2007, 07:27 PM
I say BRAVO for doing this!

The one thing I would do before dropping over $100k on a newspaper ad, though, is drop a couple hundred dollars for a consultation with a marketing specialist.

You can take or leave the advice from a marketing expert, but at least that person can tell you if your ad is impacting as many people as possible in the most positive manner possible in regards to learning about RP's message while also garnering more name recognition for him.

Vvick727
11-13-2007, 07:31 PM
yeah, we really need to make sure this is PERFECT before it gets out.
i know this costs a lot, which is why we need to make sure the message is perfect.

we also have to make sure we lay low on the conspiracy-sounding things (even though all of the things listed here are true)
there's no doubt a large number of people will be turned off by it.

i know its someone else's money, but i know that they would want to make sure its perfect as well

James R
11-13-2007, 07:35 PM
This is excellent. The only thing I would add is "would" to the Founding Father's support statement:

For these reasons, we The Founding Fathers would support
Ron Paul For President

Thanks! I agree that "would" should be added to the "founding fathers words".

freest8r
11-13-2007, 07:37 PM
Just my 2 cents, which isn't much all things considered. I love the ad, the concept, the layout. I love the mention of Dec 16th. I just think there are too many words. I'm a Ron Paul fanatic and I didn't read the whole thing.

Either way, it's a valiant effort and I applaud all involved. (Now, back to working on my Ron Paul Revolution Christmas lights.)

RonPaulFever
11-13-2007, 07:37 PM
The part about "never accepts money from special interest groups or lobbyists" isn't entirely true. He's accepted money like that before, but it's rare. That should be omitted or corrected to reflect the grassroots aspect more prominently.

curiousobserver
11-13-2007, 07:37 PM
Great Ad!!...Boy, is that good!

I'm inspired by reading these forums...Someone comes up with a idea...not only do a good job...they make sure they see it through it to completion....that is some seriouly motivated stuff I should say....

Boy, am I glad to be on the right team here!!

Naraku
11-13-2007, 07:37 PM
I disagree with some of those suggested changes, for one, present tense isn't need at all because it's talking about Ron Paul as president, rather than just Ron Paul.

Also taxes should be at the top, plain and simple, it's the most basic campaign issue ever.

Also "who to go after next" is not only weird it's bad grammer. The best thing to substitute there would be, "plans for further aggression".

Debt slaves should stay because it's a fiery word.

The media edit is just ridiculous and I still favor removing mention of the media period, since it's largely unrelated to Ron Paul.

Removing "would return to a constitutionally limited government" is just stupid. How is that not positive?

I do agree with changing it to Ron Paul for President, though.

Ron Paul Fan
11-13-2007, 07:38 PM
The part about "never accepts money from special interest groups or lobbyists" isn't entirely true. He's accepted money like that before, but it's rare. That should be omitted or corrected to reflect the grassroots aspect more prominently.

Ron Paul will take money from anyone. If they're stupid enough to think that he will cater to them then they deserve to lose their money. He cannot be bought, but I don't think I've ever heard of him rejecting money.

Birdlady
11-13-2007, 07:40 PM
I don't like this at all. Too much. White space is what makes an ad powerful not a jumble of small type print that no one will read.

llepard
11-13-2007, 07:42 PM
What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes.

1. we do not speak for the Founders. we speak for the people.

active voice, will versus would.

credits to author Max from these forums. and Linda

bullet about the press taken out.

bullet about the political parties taken out.

all bullets rearranged, anti war bullets are first

active mililtary personnel support RP.

end birthright citizenship for illegal aliens

Line about we advise you to support RP with you time......etc. taken out.

Ron Paul Revolution is now :

For These Reasons, We The People, support

Ron Paul for President. PIcture of RP will be bigger.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWESOME.

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

ksuguy
11-13-2007, 07:43 PM
I plan on picking up a copy to put up by my desk at work.

RPinSEAZ
11-13-2007, 07:43 PM
Looking forward to seeing it and thanks again for what you're doing.

Mike Mitrosky
11-13-2007, 07:45 PM
Nice article.. Just would it be better to put Ron Paul A new hope instead of Stop Dreaming???

I like Stop Dreaming as well.

Birdlady
11-13-2007, 07:46 PM
I also wanted to add that we need to make sure we have name and facial recognition. Ron Paul's picture is WAY too small for this being an ad about him. The founding father pictures are huge compared to Paul's.

jabbott0
11-13-2007, 07:49 PM
What an awesome Forum.
YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWESOME.
New Draft tomorrow.


You are awesome Lawrence! Thanks for accommodating our gripes. :)

ButchHowdy
11-13-2007, 07:51 PM
The next most important event in our lives is winning the Primaries.

What can this ad do or say to COMMAND the 94% who (like me) did not vote in the 2004 Primary, to GET UP, GET OUT, AND VOTE in the upcoming primary?

I mean, without this hook and and a good cast-off, the ad is simply giving an expensive sermon but forgetting to pass the collection plate.

My $.02

Northern_Observer
11-13-2007, 08:02 PM
I'm a Canadian that's been watching the primary run with great interest.
I first became interested in Ron Paul's candidacy after watching the "Ron Paul: A New Hope" video by eLIB3RTY and would love to see him elected.

I understand that Llepard and others have invested a great deal of time, money, energy, and care into making this. I applaud them and wish more than anything to see this rock the country.

The degree of exposure that this receives will make it a double edged sword. While it is clear that Ron Paul doesn't have a say in the ad (not having authorized it), any positive or negative impressions people get while reading it will be associated with him and his campaign nonetheless (which is the point).

Because of this, it is essential that every line is absolutely "bulletproof" because people who have a vested interest in seeing Ron Paul fail will be looking for things to latch on to and use against him (even if he had nothing to do with it).


I find the general theme of the ad being written by the Founding Fathers to be a problematic for a several of reasons…

It's a little awkward with the switches between the Founding Fathers speaking and the writer. For example, "An Open Letter to the American People" is supposedly written/spoken by the Founders. The lines after that, "In 1776 our Founding Fathers… but we have strayed from their wise counsel" is spoken by the someone else. The introduction to the list, "We The Founders" is written by the Founders.

As others have already mentioned, I think some caution needs to be taken in speaking with the assumption that the founders would endorse somebody. There are some people who might glance at the ad, get turned off by the premise, and stop reading. If even a few people reading this forum take it this way, it's guaranteed that maybe thousands of readers of the newspaper will feel the same way (if you think 1 person in 50 might be turned off by it, divide that by the number who will be reading the paper). Consider too, that readers of this forum will have a positive bias while reading the ad, so those reading the newspaper who are neutral or are currently leaning towards another candidate are more likely to interpret it negatively than readers here.

The problem with changing the wording of the endorsement by saying "For these reasons, The Founding Fathers would support the Ron Paul Revolution" is that it returns to the awkwardness of changing the speaker again. After that, the speaker changes again back to the founders where it says "We advise you to support Ron Paul for President with your time, fortunes and sacred honor" (which wouldn't work if you changed the previous line too)

Third thing - the method of using warnings, describing the current situation, and then saying what RP would do.

Saying "We the Founders warned of…" invites debunkers to go searching on the internet to see if they really warned of these things. Not having studied US history, I don't know what they warned about, but it's a good idea to make sure you can find a quote by one of the founders that relates to every single warning listed.


Regarding the overall tone, I feel it is important that the ad uplifts and inspires. Something that connects with people's emotions and gets them excited about the possibilities. Where they'll think "WOW, I didn't know someone like this was out there!!" and jump on the internet to look him up. At the same time, care needs to be taken that the message isn't presented in a way that people might interpret as being emotionally manipulative.

This is easy though, because the message is exciting and, for the most part, sells itself. I think people just need to be reminded about these wonderful ideals. After that, it's easy to sell RP by mentioning his consistent voting record. Stressing how he has voted in the past helps to build trust and shows his integrity even in the face of tremendous opposition (the many times he was the only person voting against when 450 or more were in favor).

This trust and his integrity counts for a great deal. It's one of the reasons he has been reelected so many times even though he doesn't cater to the special interests of his voters (like subsidies).

Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space.

torchbearer
11-13-2007, 08:04 PM
What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes.

1. we do not speak for the Founders. we speak for the people.

active voice, will versus would.

credits to author Max from these forums. and Linda

bullet about the press taken out.

bullet about the political parties taken out.

all bullets rearranged, anti war bullets are first

active mililtary personnel support RP.

end birthright citizenship for illegal aliens

Line about we advise you to support RP with you time......etc. taken out.

Ron Paul Revolution is now :

For These Reasons, We The People, support

Ron Paul for President. PIcture of RP will be bigger.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWESOME.

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

Actually, I think that is great...and I consider myself a hardcore message guy. Very wise compromises. I am getting many copies of this USA today and leaving places for people to see. Keep one as a souvenir.

Sey.Naci
11-13-2007, 08:19 PM
Agree with Northern_Observer. It's critical to keep the message positive, rather than engage in fear-mongering (all those warnings, for example).


Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space.

0zzy
11-13-2007, 08:22 PM
You should put quotions on him.

Ronald Regan's endorsement, John Mccain's "most honest man in congress", Newt Gingrich's "Everyone except Ron Paul", Tax Payer's Best Friend, etc.
but thatd violate lots of copyright laws ;P

Mark Rushmore
11-13-2007, 08:27 PM
Any possibility to post a graphical form of the up-to-date draft? To keep a little bit clearer on what is up for editing? Not demanding it, just thinking it would boost productivity as time winds down.

traitorist
11-13-2007, 08:28 PM
What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes........

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

Amen and thank for taking into consideration all the wise and thoughtful recommendations and critiques provided here!!!

can i hug you? :cool: i'm ok with guy hugs :p

wfd40
11-13-2007, 08:32 PM
Nice article.. Just would it be better to put Ron Paul A new hope instead of Stop Dreaming???

I like Stop Dreaming as well.

I have found (through various tests on friends that if you watch either, you can't help watching them all ;)

Jerome
11-13-2007, 08:37 PM
Thank you to all who committed time for this. It is a great opportunity for our message to be heard.

libertarianbob01
11-13-2007, 08:38 PM
I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence

My fear that Deadhead is oh so right seems to have instantiated. Perhaps the dead presidents will spark some interest; after all, people do love the Benjamins.

slantedview
11-13-2007, 08:56 PM
Is there a more updated draft? I like the suggestions so far, but I'm confused as to where we stand.

axiomata
11-13-2007, 09:00 PM
I don't like this at all. Too much. White space is what makes an ad powerful not a jumble of small type print that no one will read.

Perhaps you could purchase the adjacent page and write "See message to the right -->" surrounded by all the white space you want/ ;)

I do understand your point about white space, I have taken a few graphic design courses, but I think llepard needs to get his money's worth ;)

The only changes llepard plans on implementing that I don't agree with or should be added are:

the rearranging of bullets, I'm sure the official campaign put them the way they did for good reason.

not mentioning of that he is running for the Republican nomination

and if max and linda don't mind, then I don't think they should be mentioned in the ad. We all know it was max's original design, and we thank him for it, but the average reader won't care and it'll add to the clutter.

I also like the idea of adding a quote or two

Hook
11-13-2007, 09:03 PM
What an awesome Forum.

LWL

You sir, are a Great American.

Are you sure you don't want any chipin help with the ad? There are a lot of us on the forum that could donate a rather modest $10.00 (for us), but when added up would take a serious bite out of the total cost.
I just worry about the hardcores like you and Roxic27 upheaving your lives over the campaign.
Anyway, just a thought.

Politeia
11-13-2007, 09:10 PM
A new draft is in the works.
A couple of changes.
LWL

I haven't read this whole thread, but: LLepard, I admire your patience and receptivity to criticism, but don't feel you have to please everyone (impossible anyway). So far as I'm concerned, you're paying for the ad, your say is final on what should be in it. While I'm sure it could use improvement, it was already great, and could have run as it was just fine. Remember about that camel....*

An earlier version of this ad appeared in a New Hampshire paper a week or two ago; I have no idea how it went over with the sheeple, but I like the Founding Fathers and the hard-hitting flavor. However much we may wish otherwise, the freedom revolution isn't for everyone; all we need is enough to effect some real change (last I heard, only a tiny percentage of those eligible really vote, and in some states I think that tiny number may be swamped by all the new, fired-up RP supporters), and while some timid souls may be lost if they are confronted with more truth than they can deal with, others will welcome the truth as a breath of fresh air they didn't know they were waiting for.

If that weren't the case, we wouldn't have gotten anywhere near where we are now. I for one never expected anything like what's already happened to appear in my lifetime; I'm for having faith that perhaps, against all odds, the truth's time might actually have come. For if it hasn't, we'll be no worse off than we were going to be anyway.

KUDOS to you, Llepard, and the others involved in making this ad. Follow your heart, pull no punches, and speak your piece to the world. You'll never please everyone, but so long as you're true to yourself (and I see nothing in the ad as it stands that misrepresents or does injustice to Ron Paul) you'll have no regrets.

(*"A camel is a horse designed by a committee.")

Ron Paul in 2008
11-13-2007, 09:14 PM
Please change the top to “The founding fathers” and then list all of the warneds.

I have a few more suggestions now that I read it over in detail. The first line:

…warned of the dangers of excessive taxation. Now we must labor six months of the year to pay your taxes at all levels as the economy groans beneath this cruel burden.

You can be replaced with we but you it is okay. Your is not necessary.

…warned of the dangers of foreign entanglements. Now thousands of Americans suffer and die protecting and building foreign nations while your government plans a military draft.

Please take the military draft out. It’s really not necessary and a huge liability. The point is delivered with the first part of the sentence. The part can sound more nationalistic by saying Americans instead of men and women and also makes the ad a tad shorter. Building can be placed before protecting and die should be placed before suffer. Putting death before suffer will give the impression of loss and putting suffer after will give the impression that they are suffering now.

…warned of the dangers of government spending. Now your growing National Debt stands at nine trillion dollars and your children are debt slaves. from the day they are born.

Not one hundred percent necessary. If you leave it at debt slaves people will have to figure out by themselves that they are slaves from the day they are born. If you make people have to figure it out they will be more touched by the message.

…warned to obey the constitution because power corrupts. Now a secretive government can spy on you and detain you at will under the guise of national security.

All of the bold is not necessary.

Also while it is noble to promote all of the Ron Paul websites, I think only teaparty and ronpaul2008.com should be promoted. It clamps up the ad to have so many websites and people might not visit the main ones; teaparty and ronpaul2008.com. The chances are if they like what Ron Paul has to say they will find out the other websites after they go to RonPaul2008.com and teaparty. Plus we can list those websites on teaparty so lets just direct them there. I think it makes the ad look a bit cheap like a standard local paper in classifieds.

Also in the lower right hand corner the ad says makes a point and says "Donate Now!" I think we should remove the donate now. We should merely present the message and make people feel that they are coming to Ron Paul. We shouldn't make them feel like we are trying to get them to donate money. Ron Paul's message sells itself so the Donate Now should be removed. Its obvious that we want them to donate by promoting teaparty.

Also LLepard, you are awesome.

Eric21ND
11-13-2007, 09:18 PM
You should put quotions on him.

Ronald Regan's endorsement, John Mccain's "most honest man in congress", Newt Gingrich's "Everyone except Ron Paul", Tax Payer's Best Friend, etc.
but thatd violate lots of copyright laws ;P

That could make a very interesting ad too. Just print everyone's glowing endorsement of Paul. :D

Ron Paul in 2008
11-13-2007, 09:24 PM
That could make a very interesting ad too. Just print everyone's glowing endorsement of Paul. :D

I agree. I like that too.

robatsu
11-13-2007, 09:28 PM
This things gives me shivers up and down my spine.

Eric21ND
11-13-2007, 09:34 PM
"Originally Posted by Northern_Observer
Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space."


These are some really great ideas. People are disenchanted right now, they are searching for one ray of hope at this point and I think we should hit on this. Isn't that what got us all behind Dr. Paul in the first place? Everyone right now just doesn't feel good about the future of the country. Nobody is hopeful. The ad should try to tap into that loss Americans are feeling right now and what we can do to change it. This add should be uplifting and positive. Pull on readers heartstrings. Government should work for the people.

Consider this slogan...

"Hope is on the horizon again"

"In his medical practice Dr. Paul treated those who could not afford to pay. He is the cure for an ailing country."

ikester8
11-13-2007, 09:35 PM
Phenomenal ad. Thank you, sir, for sponsoring this momentous event. I don't know if anyone has said this already, but could there be a mention of ronpaul.meetup.com? Might get some more boots on the ground, as it were.

Eric21ND
11-13-2007, 09:36 PM
"Originally Posted by Northern_Observer
Here's an example of an ad that gives the gist of the kind of tone I mean (I just made it up, and have no attachment to it, so feel free to take whatever you wish from it, whether it's a few words, everything, or nothing at all)...

------------
Imagine

Imagine an America…

That is a shining example of peace, prosperity, and freedom.

That is a friend to all nations,
And is loved, admired, and respected by all.

With a stable, growing, and powerful economy.
An economy that not only enriches its our lives,
but also uplifts and empowers all the world's countries.

Whose government is a fierce protector of its citizen's freedom and liberty.
This government is wise, for it understands that this starts within its own borders,
and that it is not possible to preserve freedom through the removal of liberties.


I imagine that this is the vision our Founding Fathers had when they created our Constitution.

There is a man who has stood unwaveringly his whole life for these principles and has not lost sight of this vision.
He defended them in the Air Force, and protects them now as a Congressman.
Today he is running for President of the United States under the Republican Party.

Ron Paul is a steadfast defender of the Constitution and the ideals upon which this country has been founded.


[and continue describing his policies]


If this vision of America inspires you as much as it does me, please support Ron Paul in the Republican Primaries.

----------------------

To keep the tone positive and consistent, I would not mention what is wrong or make any pointed remarks about other candidates or current administration.

For example with the war in Iraq, I would mention he voted against it every step of the way and is the only Republican candidate (Kucinich would also bring them home on the Democratic side, so it wouldn't be accurate to say "the only candidate") who would bring the troops home immediately.

It's sort of along the lines of an interview I saw recently where the interviewer was saying he was "anti-this, anti-that, etc." and RP countered saying, each of those things can be turned into a positive - I'm pro-small government, pro-liberty, pro-non-interventionist foreign policy, pro-sound finances, etc.

I don't think it's necessary to lay out every single thing he stands for - the major points, definitely (rewatch some of his interviews to see what issues he brings up the most), but I think the aim of the ad should be to generate interest/excitement. Once they have that, they'll look him up and be hooked. So don't be afraid to leave some things out to give make the ad easier to read with more open space."


These are some really great ideas. People are disenchanted right now, they are searching for one ray of hope at this point and I think we should hit on this. Isn't that what got us all behind Dr. Paul in the first place? Everyone right now just doesn't feel good about the future of the country. Nobody is hopeful. The ad should try to tap into that loss Americans are feeling right now and what we can do to change it. This add should be uplifting and positive. Pull on readers heartstrings. Government should work for the people.

Consider this slogan...

"Hope is on the horizon again"

"In his medical practice Dr. Paul treated those who could not afford to pay. He has the cure for an ailing country."

James R
11-13-2007, 09:38 PM
What an awesome Forum.

A new draft is in the works.

A couple of changes.

1. we do not speak for the Founders. we speak for the people.

active voice, will versus would.

credits to author Max from these forums. and Linda

bullet about the press taken out.

bullet about the political parties taken out.

all bullets rearranged, anti war bullets are first

active mililtary personnel support RP.

end birthright citizenship for illegal aliens

Line about we advise you to support RP with you time......etc. taken out.

Ron Paul Revolution is now :

For These Reasons, We The People, support

Ron Paul for President. PIcture of RP will be bigger.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWESOME.

FOR THE HARD CORE, PLEASE ACCEPT SOME DILUTION OF THE MESSAGE TO INCREASE THE APPEAL. WE ARE NOT COPPING OUT, WE ARE BEING SMART.

WE WANT RP TO WIN!

New Draft tomorrow.

LWL

And thank you for taking everyone's advice into consideration. When the people who have a large effect on the campaign listen well, it says to me that we may very well win.

ronpaulitician
11-13-2007, 09:44 PM
Wow. I was just about to post some minor notes (replace "Dr." with "doctor" in the final-to-last bullet point; add period at end of "Will restore habeas corpus") but see that some major changes will be made. Will wait for tomorrow's version :)

fortnighte
11-13-2007, 09:52 PM
First, having a full-page ad in one of the most widely-read newspapers in the country is a great idea; kudos to everyone who was part of this project.

Second, the graphics look beautiful. The "pics" of the "Founding Fathers" are really nice as is most of the layout; again, super job.

Third, taking what the FFs said and connecting them to Ron Paul's campaign helps people see where we are now and contrast that with where we once were and where we would be headed with a RP Presidency; well done.

Fourth, if what I read about the cost of the ad is correct, 2.3 million people (give or take a few hundred thousand) will see all this about Ron Paul at a cost of about $0.05 each. Considering the time and energy required to distribute that many Slim Jims would be...well...let's just say the ad looks to be a very wise investment.

Fifth, the ad, NOT being on the Internet, helps bring to the less-than-Internet savvy among us the gospel of Ron Paul. This is, in my opinion, something that must be done if interest in RP is to continue to grow at the seemingly-exponential rate that is currently the case. Along this same line, I'd suggest a P.O. Box or street address to which interested parties may write. The phone number is a very good idea but I think that there will still be some who would rather have a physical address through which to make contact (send checks?).

Sixth, and I saw someone speak to this already, I'd suggest moving RPs picture to the far right and the encircling text to the far left (meeting appropriately in the middle). Having RPs picture all to itself on the right may allow for it to be larger which, I'm sure, would give the reader a break, at least visually, from all the necessary but possibly overwhelming text.

Seventh, no doubt there is a LOT of content in that ad. It's GOOD content, but a lot nonetheless. Will the USA Today reader actually pore through all that material? Hard to say, but, since the ad is trying to promote Ron Paul as opposed to Ron Paul's website, I think it's important to present readers plenty of accurate and relevant information.

Eighth, please consider a toll-free number to go along with the www.TeaParty07.com website. (May I suggest www.Kall8.com? I have a couple of phone numbers from them and the cost is quite modest and I've never had an issue with it. And, no, I neither work for them nor get some kind of a kickback.) Again, as a large number of readers may not be Internet-savvy enough to go online and make a donation (they may even consider it more risky to donate online...I hear that a bit from my customers even though it's not necessarily true), having a toll-free number available for either more information and/or to make a donation might be advantageous.

Finally, I'm amazed at the creativity that is being constantly evidenced by so many for the cause of Freedom. It's a privilege to be a very small part of such an enormous yet vital effort.

Fortnighte

P.S. And thanks to Dr. Ron Paul for showing us the way. May we as Americans have the wisdom and courage to follow.

hayekian
11-13-2007, 09:56 PM
I think including this quote by Fed Chairman Ben Bernake would be awesome

"Let me end my talk by abusing slightly my status as an official representative of the Federal Reserve. I would like to say to Milton and Anna: Regarding the Great Depression. You're right, we did it. We're very sorry. But thanks to you, we won't do it again."


Also a little graph like this one:

http://mwhodges.home.att.net/cpi-1800.gif

would be nice.

As great as ron paul is doing at teaching economics. I would like to see even more econotalk from the ron paul revolution.

Paul.Bearer.of.Injustice
11-13-2007, 09:56 PM
Awesome job with the ad and lots of love for having the guts to go through with it.

The thing that caught my eye, though, was the far left portrait.
Is that Alex Hamilton? If so, please consider his position as a big-government Federalist who didn't trust the people's intelligence enough to stay out of their affairs.
It seems hypocritical to the message you're trying to send.

If that's not Alex, forget what I just said.

Question_Authority
11-13-2007, 10:01 PM
#6 - "conspire" and "pretend" etc... strikes of conspiriacy language, please avoid using that.
#7 - "deliberately" left open... we know this to be true but it comes off as the same thing as #8 - same thing, they're reading the mainstream media, they dont want to be told how bad it is. It'll come off the wrong way.

We need to come across as an honest mainstream alternative, so avoiding these types of buzz words is pretty important.


Great. I would only change "we the fathers support...", for "Our founding fathers WOULD support ...". I would sound more real, and less ficticious

I second the motion on these suggestions.

amakris
11-13-2007, 10:01 PM
1) Too negative. Too many warnings make it feel like I'm being nagged. I don't want to be nagged.
2) If you insist on the warning thing then there should be a physical separation between the warnings and Ron Paul's name.
3) Ron Paul's image should be bigger
4) Way too much info. List key attributes that fill the consumers' needs: honest, end the war, smaller government. When you list all this stuff it's truly information overload. The net effect is absorbing nothing. You're burying the ad's message.
5) Remove the fringy stuff. This means cool it on the capital letters (don't put a list of acronyms in a row as it freaks people out), over use of quotes, and references to NAU.

Mauiboy86
11-13-2007, 10:02 PM
That will get the world talking!

spivey378
11-13-2007, 10:07 PM
holy shit this thread blew up


i didnt know it was this big

*starts readin*

Politeia
11-13-2007, 10:07 PM
The thing that caught my eye, though, was the far left portrait.
Is that Alex Hamilton? If so, please consider his position as a big-government Federalist who didn't trust the people's intelligence enough to stay out of their affairs.
It seems hypocritical to the message you're trying to send.

No, it's not Hamilton (agreed, that would be very inappropriate); I believe it's James Madison, the "Father of the Constitution" and "Father of the Bill of Rights". Yes; see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison

He's our guy.

280Z28
11-13-2007, 10:13 PM
Warning: This post represents free thought and hasn't been proofread or polished. :o

Several points Ron makes have been taken out of context by MSM. If you hear "he wants to shut down the IRS," by itself, it sounds like a horrible idea. One point that I don't see forefronted that I think needs to be is the fact that Ron is dedicated to protecting Americans from civil liberties to life to wealth to respect. As such, he has planned actions to make sure that no one is "left on the streets."

He wants to phase out social security (well known), but he wants to actively protect people who do depend on it by leaving it in place AND making sure the funds are protected from frivolous spending (not so well known, and more than other candidates can promise!).

He wants to abolish the IRS (well known), but more importantly he wants to control spending since we are going broke. The easiest way to stop spending money without hurting Americans is by re-evaluating our foreign policy. He doesn't want to end the war in Iraq because it's the popular idea to a bunch of Americans. He wants to stop the Iraq war because we can't afford it (help American economy), it leaves us less protected (help safety), and it unnecessarily kills people and aggravates the ones that live (gain respect by respecting others).

Everything Ron Paul does is dedicated to one cause: you, because you are an American.

Ron Paul does not work for the government. Ron Paul works for the people of the United States of America.

Ron Paul helps the poor by relentlessly protecting the value of the money and property they do have.

Ron Paul helps the sick by driving down the price of medical care, and he does so without having to take money from everyone. Hillary wants to drive down the price of medical care, and only wants $100bn to do it.

Ron Paul helps the elderly by protecting the value and consistency of the Social Security fund they rely on.

Ron Paul helps the troops by befriending the world and keeping them out of unnecessary danger.

Ron Paul helps business by encouraging innovation, worldwide free trade, and by making sure his policies don't have adverse affects on the economy.

Ron Paul helps your children by allowing schools to focus on education instead of splitting a money pool.

Ron Paul helps you by spending time thinking of new ways to protect the money you have, instead of taking your money and wasting it on bloated programs. Ron Paul doesn't force you to make sacrifices only to try and convince you it was necessary. Freedom doesn't have to come with a price tag.

Ron Paul takes different actions from other politicians because his giving does not take away. Ron Paul speaks the truth and keeps his word because the only thing on his mind is protecting the American Dream for all Americans.

Invest in your future and that of your kids on Dec. 16th. Find out more at www.teaparty07.com.

Drknows
11-13-2007, 10:14 PM
I like it even if no changes are made.

But i would suggest making Ron Paul stand out at the top of the ad and making his picture bigger.

Right now he only covers 1/4 of the ad. Plus its at the very bottom.


But like i said i like it regardless. TWO THUMBS UP!!!!! :D

SwordOfShannarah
11-13-2007, 10:15 PM
It's an ad... jezz... no one can ever get along

seriously- where do these people get off? This is an ad someone is going to run- there is no asking of opinions. This is FYI.

I mean, if you ever wanted to know who the trolls or morons are in this forum now you know. Have a little couth for once will you??!!

The Good Doctor
11-13-2007, 10:16 PM
Awesome! :D

Texan4Life
11-13-2007, 10:17 PM
Bryan, I like the concept but the ad itself seems to need a bit of work. Here is what I have so far for a recommendation:

http://www.ronpaulaction.com/img/improvement_1.gif


I forgot to note why I made certain changes:
Delete "deliberately" from "borders deliberately left open" because it causes disagreement yet is not necessary to get across the point.

Change "honest" to "honest rather than popular" because the focus is on the media, not on honesty..

+1

Matt Collins
11-13-2007, 10:28 PM
It looks beautiful, but it is not effective.

We need NAME RECOGNITION not issues. We can do issues 1 month out from the date of election.

Right now we just need to get people to know that RP exists.

Any newspaper ads should be:
- as close to the editorials as possible
- in the business section
- in the local section

See this thread about marketing Ron Paul:
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=25536

Jon S
11-13-2007, 10:30 PM
It looks beautiful, but it is not effective.

We need NAME RECOGNITION not issues. We can do issues 1 month out from the date of election.

Right now we just need to get people to know that RP exists.

Any newspaper ads should be:
- as close to the editorials as possible
- in the business section
- in the local section

See this thread about marketing Ron Paul:
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=25536

gotta agree. people aren't going to read through something like that. it has to be catchy and get peoples attention. a bunch of words is gonna make them flip the page much quicker.

remember that the average person looks at an ad for less than a second then skips to the articles.

tonyr1988
11-13-2007, 10:34 PM
I agree with James R.'s comments. Great suggestions, especially "For President."

Great ad either way, but with a few changes, it would be near-perfect.

Devil_rules_in_extremes
11-13-2007, 10:37 PM
Good ad! God bless the person who ponied up the dough to make this possible.

Paul4Prez
11-13-2007, 10:38 PM
1) Too negative. Too many warnings make it feel like I'm being nagged. I don't want to be nagged.

Maybe American voters need a stern talking to from the Founders!



2) If you insist on the warning thing then there should be a physical separation between the warnings and Ron Paul's name.

A good idea.


3) Ron Paul's image should be bigger

Another good idea.


4) Way too much info. List key attributes that fill the consumers' needs: honest, end the war, smaller government. When you list all this stuff it's truly information overload. The net effect is absorbing nothing. You're burying the ad's message.

I think it's fine. The types of people who will respond to this are the types of people who will read the whole thing. I know I would have, even if I had never heard of Ron Paul before reading this.


5) Remove the fringy stuff. This means cool it on the capital letters (don't put a list of acronyms in a row as it freaks people out), over use of quotes, and references to NAU.

What fringy stuff? Okay, there's some, but the NAU is a BIG issue for a lot of people.

kevinblack
11-13-2007, 10:47 PM
I would agree with the cluttered comment. If I had seen that ad last week before knowing who Ron Paul was I would have immediatelly dismissed it.

It is pressumptious to put up the founding fathers but the "We the founders support" line is outrageous. It is wrong to call this a Revolution and it will backfire.

If instead this add had a simple design, focusing on ending the war on Iraq and small government it would resonate better with readers. Anything you can do to make Ron Paul look like a serious and real candidate would not hurt either.

thomj76
11-13-2007, 10:57 PM
I went fishing yesterday and haven't been feeling well today, so I'm late getting in on this thread.

When I saw this ad before it ran in NH, I had my wife look at it. I know what I know, and sometimes it's hard to get into other people's shoes that don't have the same historical skill-set that I have (Props go to my Mom, who introduced me to Ron Paul back in '76 :))

What she said stuck with me. It's a powerful message, but it seems gloomy. It would be pretty easy for the typical person to just turn the page.

I am not trying to be a nay-sayer here. I just want the best impact that this ad can get.

This is a one shot deal, with some media coverage to ripple off of it. Now the smallest of pebbles can send waves across the pond. This pebble, needs to positively remind people that Liberty is the Bedrock of this Republic.

Anyway, at the present time, that's my 2 cents worth. I look forward to seeing the update.

Man from La Mancha
11-13-2007, 11:00 PM
gotta agree. people aren't going to read through something like that. it has to be catchy and get peoples attention. a bunch of words is gonna make them flip the page much quicker.

remember that the average person looks at an ad for less than a second then skips to the articles.
I would tend to agree with you, but this is a very unusual type of ad that I might stopped to see what it was about. It's not often I see in a news paper ad about the founding fathers and it's not even one of their holidays or birthdays.

.

radmatty
11-13-2007, 11:51 PM
I dont want to be a negative Nancy, but are Joe and Jane American REALLY going to read all that? It's way too cluttered. I feel like, unless you like Paul, you're going to see all the text and skip over it

It's very well put together, but it's not eye-catching and people will get bored after the first sentence


It's in a newspaper after all. You have to imagine that those who would stumble upon it have bettr than average reading skills. I like it. -- Matt

mryanjax
11-14-2007, 12:42 AM
Unbelievable....I don't remember anyone asking for every Tom, Dick, and Harry what their opinion was of this article.

If you don't like it, pony up your own cash and take out your own ad! Otherwise, STFU nobody cares what you think! This person has done something wonderful and we have a group of self-righteous jackasses who want to tell him how to improve it in their images...

Reminds of the way these Meetup groups are going....I'm RP to the end, but I'm tired of the Paulites out there....you people are really irritating...

tonyr1988
11-14-2007, 12:48 AM
Unbelievable....I don't remember anyone asking for every Tom, Dick, and Harry what their opinion was of this article.

If you don't like it, pony up your own cash and take out your own ad! Otherwise, STFU nobody cares what you think! This person has done something wonderful and we have a group of self-righteous jackasses who want to tell him how to improve it in their images...

Reminds of the way these Meetup groups are going....I'm RP to the end, but I'm tired of the Paulites out there....you people are really irritating...
Most people are offering helpful, constructive criticism of the advertisement. I don't know about other people, but when I hear "draft," I assume there's a little bit of work to be done.

Granted, some people have taken it too far, but that doesn't warrant criticism of all the critics.

Plus, you're being awfully harsh and "irritating" yourself. There's absolutely no need for that type of outrage over something like this.

antboy
11-14-2007, 12:54 AM
What fringy stuff? Okay, there's some, but the NAU is a BIG issue for a lot of people.

The readership of USA Today is cosmopolitan, business-oriented, and includes a LOT of people who are traveling and who aren't afraid of the rest of the world.

The two issues that are going to be a turn-off to such a reader are the lack of clarity on trade and the negative tone of the discussion of immigration

(1) It should include a statement that Ron Paul is FOR free trade, rather than just a promise to repeal all the trade agreements of the past decade: which by itself sounds like the anti-globalist movement and a strong threat to the type of reader who gets USA Today at his hotel. Point out that managed trade isn't free trade: don't condemn free trade (Ron Paul certainly doesn't do so, and is far more careful in his statements to not sound like an isolationist on trade, as this ad sounds). Use Paul's favorite Jefferson quote supporting "peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations."

(2) If we scan skip abortion, we can skip immigration. A business reader told Paul is going to end illegal immigration is going to think (a) SURE he is, (b) I'm having trouble getting qualified workers as it is, and (c) he probably is going to support crackdowns on business hiring and add to my regulatory burden. This is the WORST possible audience to press on immigration: the USA today readers are far and away the most libertarian on immigration. If the ad must address it, the tone should be more positive: (a) end the welfare state and return to an America which attracts people who want opportunity rather than free benefits and (b) reform immigration to welcome those who play by the rules and not reward those who don't. I'd prefer a judicious deletion of the entire immigration topic from this ad, given its audience, but at least let's not drive them away with a fear-filled treatment of the topic. Others have already pointed out that "ending birthright citizenship" is a terrible way to address the subject, and I agree.

Overall, too many topics and too much of a laundry list: his appeal to the USA Today crowd will come from his non-interventionism, sound economic policies, and protection of civil liberties. Appeals that sound anti-globalist and anti-immigrant will dilute and harm the message for the USA Today audience, and make the piece less readable and positive. If we're going to be prudent, let's be prudent.

Like others, my great appreciation to Mr. Lepard for this potentially great contribution to the success of the campaign. My focus on criticism should not be taken as my opinion of the ad: I love most of it, and am focusing on where I think it can be improved for efficiency reasons.

jacmicwag
11-14-2007, 01:10 AM
First, thank you so much for putting up the money for this ad. If it just contained a pic of Ron and the phrase "who is Ron Paul" we'd probably gain 100,000 votes. Since your draft must be in tonight, I would just recommend more white space and a large picture of Ron at the top. A few quotes would be nice if you can fit them in.

A second option might be to delay printing by a week and just digest some of the many great comments on this thread. If this were my buck, I might also seek the opinion of some folks who create ads for a living and get their take on layout, wording, etc.

As my dad use to say "measure twice, cut once."

skyorbit
11-14-2007, 01:18 AM
Isn't it
1-877-RON-PAUL (that's 1-877-766-7285).

Not 877 Ron2008?

Tracy

Craig_R
11-14-2007, 01:31 AM
It's an ad... jezz

no, its an opportunity to introduce Paul to potential voters who may have never heard of him before, much less understand any of his positions.

sugaki
11-14-2007, 01:35 AM
I commend Illepard for his bold partaking in the campaign.

That said, I'm skeptical as to the efficacy of this.

- I support Ron Paul, but I didn't read all of it, especially the smaller print toward the bottom about Ron Paul
- The UN/NAFTA thing comes across as some assault-gun-wielding, Libertarian dogma. I agree w/ your point, but putting UN and illegal immigration in the same bullet point makes anyone seem like a loonie. The point of about self-dependence can be made without bringing up UN and NAFTA.
- Too much reading. I think it's trying too hard to fit in everything it wants to say into a single page. It needs to pick its battles more.
- I understand it's tapping into Revolution as in the American revolution, but the bigger print should be Ron Paul for President
- Readers are finicky and have a short attention span. They need shorter, catchy text to drive them to read. Word count could be cut by at least 75%.
- The ad can be construed as patronizing. Saying that "We the founders" support Ron Paul is a bit too boastful, esp if people are on the fence about RP and are to believe that RP is a humble guy.

Yeah I'm full of negativity, but by nature of my job I deal with ads all day.

Paulitician
11-14-2007, 02:00 AM
Nice graphic and ad overall. I have some objections.

Instead of "Now a secretive government" it should be "Now your secretive government." "A secretive government" sounds like it's independent from this government, not to mention it sounds like a conpiracy theory. Speaking about secretive, nowhere in the ad does it say that anything about government transperancy. That's a biggie.

"...warned of the dangers of political parties. Now you have two powerful parties that conpsire against the people, plundering you while they pretend to oppose each other. Ron Paul would return the government to the people."

Really, they conspire? Sheesh. Some people appreciate their political parties. I think instead of saying it's a huge conpiracy, you should suggest that the two parties our constantly in a power struggle and aren't very different ideologically, while pushing the American people to the side. And instead of "would" use the word "WILL." You should use will throught out the ad. "Would" sounds very weak, and theoretical.

"...warned of the importance of an honest, independent and unbiased press. Now your centralized "Mainstream Media" is full of propaganda, distortions, and omissions. Ron Paul would communicate honestly."

Well, first of all, mainstream media doesn't need to be capitalized. Secondly, do you really think that would be great in USA Today newspapers? Sheesh. If you're going to be critical of the media, perhaps you should criticize how their horrible performance led us into the war, or something more concrete than those glaring generalities (though I'd agree with them).

Speaking of capitalization, some phrases like national debt, central bank, and national security don't need to be capitalized...

"Is opposed to a North American Union"

Most people don't even know what the NAU is, and those who do know, probably brush it off as conpiracy theory. I think you should say something like "is opposed to the Security & Prosperity Partnership of North America, otherwise known as the North American Union, which proposes to join the US, Canada and Mexico into one with with a single currency" or something. Perhaps just leave it out all together.

I think we could do away with the Real ID too. It's not a big issue to most people. And in front of Patriot Act, probably add the word unconstitutional.

Also, I don't think you can speak for the Founders of the country. That's seems dishonest to me and somewhat offensive. Perhaps, you can say something along the lines "For these very reasons, Ron Paul perfectly fits the mold of a Founding Father" or "... Ron Paul shares the same vision for America as the Founders Fathers of America."

Why is Ron Paul's picture so small? People will barely get to see what he looks like.

I like that little box with the tea party site URL, but I don't like the text above it. "Raising 4.3 million in one day got their attention." Got whose attention exactly, and why should I care? "Now it's time to win!" Win what, and why should I care? "If not you, who? If not now, when?" What does that even mean and why should I care? The rest of the text is fine though.

Also, I think you should keep the links at the bottom simple. I would include only the official website, and the telephone number. Maybe leave Ron Paul library.org there as it's a great resource. But a blog and a youtube video... uhh. No doubt they need to hear him speak, but they can find videos on his website.

And, most importantly, are you a professional or have you contacted a professional to get their opinion on it and advice? You might want to do that!

Craig_R
11-14-2007, 02:07 AM
heres my suggestion:


Tired of WAR?
Taxes?
Inflation?
Typical Politicians, and Partisan Politics?

So am I. Thats why I'm Voting

RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT

Maybe you should too.


(the websites and what have you)

end

But thats just what I would do.

tttar
11-14-2007, 02:17 AM
The duplicate line after the page break isn't really in the original, is it? :)

All in all, I see very little I'd want to change.

Of course no one will read it all, as some point out - but it's set up so that the boldfaced parts people are likely to read still tell enough of the story, and if they want to learn more they can read the rest and go directly to what is also my favorite video, the "Stop Dreaming" one.

Maybe also put in boldface the most important few words in each point for easier scanning.

One thing we might be blind to, though: we understand and value each of these messages - but shouldn't the ad maybe be informally tested first on a few hundred people (or on focus groups) who don't normally think about the issues as much as we do? (Or maybe it already has been.)

Ask them how much they read, what first caught their eye, etc. They will respond to it in ways that we won't be able to anticipate, and you'll think of some revisions that will communicate the message in terms they may better relate to.

Maybe we should have passed this around for you for a while, using several versions, or had voted on several versions before you committed yourself to publishing it. (I first heard about it only just now.) I hope you'll have enough time to think about all the feedback to make any changes.

I can only say that if everyone were like me, 100% of USA Today's readers will be impressed and will start supporting Ron the same day... :)

Check out advertising guru Jay Abraham's excellent advice on how to hook the reader into taking the next step, etc.

tremendoustie
11-14-2007, 02:18 AM
llepard, as I'm sure you realize, that gmail account is going to be blown out of the water. If you actually use it for anything, you might consider opening a different account for this. I'm sure you know this anyway, but I thought I'd put it out there just in case.

tttar
11-14-2007, 03:23 AM
Point out how much each family's debt share is. Many might respond to the "$9 trillion" with "the government will think of something."

Ron Paul Himself has pointed out the much larger $65 TRILLION estimate (almost $600,000 PER HOUSEHOLD), which is the present value of our future unfunded liabilities.

But maybe that's a little *too* scary - "can even He pull us out of that one?" Maybe then they'll want to run back to some schmuck who'll make them feel more secure for the time being, by telling them it's not real.

Eric21ND
11-14-2007, 03:42 AM
I think that ad kind of lacks focus. There's way too much going on in it. The pictures of the Founders are great, but should they be the focus of the ad? I'm not sure. I think an ad with a hopeful message would get better play by the average reader. I understand that you want this ad to run ASAP so a total overhaul probably isn't in order, but we might gain a lot of insight in doing so. For the price of the ad it should be perfect and not rushed to the presses IMO. It might be wise to open up the concept, beyond just the founders ad, maybe a tea party theme, or just a huge picture of Ron Paul smiling and conveying hope and some large bullet points. I agree with another person above, that the ad has a gloomy tone. People don't want gloom and doom right now, they want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just my 10 cents.

I would step back from rushing this out.

I would totally open up the ad to new ideas/concepts. Maybe even scraping the founder ad all together.

Lastly its your ad buy so you can do what you wish, I just think with more time we could come up with a really amazing ad like the mosiac one in Iowa. That one was simple and to the point. I doubt people will read all that and actually make it down to the Ron Paul stuff.

stewie3128
11-14-2007, 03:46 AM
Are we going to use this to post in store windows or anything? Certainly this thing should have a life beyond the USA Today adbuy. ...Which absolutely rocks, btw. :)

tttar
11-14-2007, 03:48 AM
Yeah, a full-color version we can use for posters would be great.

agisthos
11-14-2007, 03:48 AM
Even though I love the add personally I think it would be 3x more effective to drop the founding fathers stuff and just have Ron Pauls key points there blown up in bigger font size.

tttar
11-14-2007, 04:02 AM
There's a lot of value in using a "we warned against, we told you so" theme, though.

"Call Ron Paul a crackpot, and you say the same about the Constitution you say you believe in, and may have even sworn an oath to defend" they need to be wrestling with. And since thinking is something that comes very hard to most people, that just may mean it will be staying on their little minds for that much longer.

Even if he doesn't make it, there will be one hell of a "he told you so - NOW will you listen?" theme for others to use in 4 years.

At least Orwell got the "memory hole" thing wrong. The web isn't going away!

Ozwest
11-14-2007, 04:03 AM
Why not steal a Mitt Romney ad, and insert Ron Pauls name where his usually goes?

freelance
11-14-2007, 04:16 AM
Wow, what a bunch of critics.....

llepard,
Don't change a thing if you don't want to. There will be a million different little things to nitpick and critisize....but the message remains the same (Ron Paul is awesome).

Everyone has their own unique way of getting the Ron Paul message out there. Everyone needs to do spread the message their own way instead of attacking others.

Great work and thank you for getting it out there. 3 cheers for llepard!

Very nicely said.

Paul Fan
11-14-2007, 05:47 AM
Ad is fantastic and will really draw attention. The changes thus far have improved it significantly. I agree there should be a telephone number; so many people still don't use the internet.

Also, a minor suggestion: in line about donations "strictly" from individuals, replace strictly with "only" or "solely." "Strictly" sounds negative and restrictive.

Llepard you are a true leader.

rancher89
11-14-2007, 06:13 AM
And thank you for taking everyone's advice into consideration. When the people who have a large effect on the campaign listen well, it says to me that we may very well win.

Ditto, I can't wait for the "final" version to be posted!

llepard, thanks for listening to everyone's opinions. We all have "one":D, and we will work hard for Dr. Ron Paul-Revere so that we will not lose our right to express those opinions.

thomj76
11-14-2007, 06:22 AM
Unbelievable....I don't remember anyone asking for every Tom, Dick, and Harry what their opinion was of this article.

If you don't like it, pony up your own cash and take out your own ad! Otherwise, STFU nobody cares what you think! This person has done something wonderful and we have a group of self-righteous jackasses who want to tell him how to improve it in their images...

Reminds of the way these Meetup groups are going....I'm RP to the end, but I'm tired of the Paulites out there....you people are really irritating...

This is the draft thread...We are engaged in the creative process. If you dont brainstorm, how can you get your "chubby rain"?

LibertyEagle
11-14-2007, 06:28 AM
Ron Paul will take money from anyone. If they're stupid enough to think that he will cater to them then they deserve to lose their money. He cannot be bought, but I don't think I've ever heard of him rejecting money.

I'm not sure about that, RPF. I don't think he accepts money from lobbyists.

CelestialRender
11-14-2007, 06:34 AM
I like it. If you make changes: fine, but it's ready for the presses as first presented. Thanks Llepard, you're a true patriot. (I've never used that word before. Tastes funny.)

Kurt_In_Florida
11-14-2007, 09:40 AM
Nice. But I would change the tone slightly. "Warning" on every line, and "advising" people how to vote comes off as scolding them. You'll turn the average (stupid) American off in a heartbeat.

Instead of scolding, or sounding the alarm, why not list a series of problems, a Founder's quote, and how Ron Paul would restore order on the issue? For example (at the top) you can say (once), "The Founders warned...

-- "Beware of entangling alliances." - George Washington -- and yet we are mired down by the dictates of the U.N., NATO, NAFTA, CAFTA, etc. which erode our sovereignty and put our troops under foreign command. Ron Paul would get us out of these organizations which sap America's strength.

Just a thought - but making people feel guilty won't win them over. Instead, invite them to join a winning team! (Yeah, lots of sheeple vote for someone because they think they will win! Idiots!)

K.

Kurt_In_Florida
11-14-2007, 09:43 AM
Hey! Add Ron Paul's picture to the group at the top! Maybe replace Madison (since most people don't know what he looks like anyway.)

thirty3na3rd
11-14-2007, 09:55 AM
...or made a down payment on a vacation home.
Instead, you are giving this gift to your fellow Americans.

Sir, we are deeply grateful.

Darryl Schmitz
St Johns, MI

Paulitician
11-14-2007, 10:35 AM
I'm not sure about that, RPF. I don't think he accepts money from lobbyists.
I agree with Ron Paul Fan. Ron Paul will take money from anyone. He's greedy like that! Just don't expect to get special privileges because you donated to him. Lobbyists no longer even bother, because they know he can't be bought.

Menthol Patch
11-14-2007, 12:33 PM
This first draft is awesome!

kasiagirl
11-14-2007, 01:22 PM
Wonderful ad. If people won't read this they just don't care and won't vote anyway.

Proemio
11-14-2007, 03:08 PM
I would tend to agree with you, but this is a very unusual type of ad that I might stopped to see what it was about. It's not often I see in a news paper ad about the founding fathers and it's not even one of their holidays or birthdays.

.

That's exactly it.

Criteria for newspaper/journal ad (most important to least):

1 - Has stopping power (WTF-appeal)

2 - Sells brand (Founding Fathers <-> President Ron Paul)

3 - if the reader is still with you, they want meat not fluff (has that, tho at that stage, the addition of the collected writings of Ron Paul would be even better - ha)

It was a great ad from the get go, mainly because it's based on a fantastic concept (max's I think), now made into a looker.

_____________
This is what I said in another post in answer to inquiries by the man paying the bill (http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showpost.php?p=407646&postcount=1) (llepard):

I'd just ask one small thing.
That you are 100% comfortable and sold on the final piece.
It's a great ad - as you can see from the "first impression" reactions (the only thing that really counts with an ad).
I have seen too many good ideas get their energy "murdered by committee".

It has to be a "no regret" type of thing for the one sticking his neck out!

Ron Paul Fan
11-14-2007, 03:14 PM
I'm not sure about that, RPF. I don't think he accepts money from lobbyists.

Where has he said this? I thought he took money from anyone and everyone. But he's not like the others in that he won't give anyone special treatment so they probably don't want to give to him anyway.

The ad is suppose to be unusual, powerful, and invoke emotion. That is the whole point and that is what will get people to read it. It should be unique and different.

LinuxUser269
11-14-2007, 03:15 PM
looks wonderful but we need this in every paper

JTCoyoté
11-14-2007, 03:25 PM
What an amazing stroke of genius this ad is... This would make a marvelous Yard Sign, and/or banner...

--Oldyoti

"The obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our liberty, not coddle the world, precipitating no-win wars, while bringing bankruptcy and economic turmoil to our people." ~Ron Paul

Revolution9
11-14-2007, 03:38 PM
This is the draft thread...We are engaged in the creative process. If you dont brainstorm, how can you get your "chubby rain"?

BS.. Most of you are surreptitiously engaged in an interference and stupid ideas process. If we took all the stupid siggestions it would like a generic store sale ad with vote ron paul 2008 on it. Big effing stunner there.. Guaranteed collectors piece<snark>.. Jeezus H. Kripes and an armchiar quarteback critiquing The Creation. Most of the fools learned nothing from the November Fifth controversy. The guns were stuck to and an amazing success came out of it..

Randy

max
11-14-2007, 03:43 PM
a football metaphor...

we were once losing 56-0 at halftime....by being bold we are now only down by 14 in the 4th quarter..

It's no time for "prevent defense"...we have to throw the ball on every down, but without being so careless as to throwing into tight coverage....

This ad is like a 30 yard pass to an open receiver....a bold move.....but a necessary move...and in no way reckless.

This ad in original form challenges the intellect and touches the emotions. Believe me, anyone "scared" by it will never be in our camp anyway once the media smear begin (and they are already starting)

Just imagine the impact of countless disenchanted Americans having the same response to it as Larry did upon first seeing it!

Theres no telling what type of action they might then be inspired to take!

Peterjar
11-14-2007, 03:52 PM
We need more grassroots efforts like this. Most of us can't afford it alone.

Go to www.ronpaulgraphs/chipin.html to help the rest of us out.

Proemio
11-14-2007, 06:09 PM
a football metaphor...

Way over my head...



...
This ad in original form challenges the intellect and touches the emotions. Believe me, anyone "scared" by it...

Wot? I didn't read through the - I'm sure well intentioned - micro-management section, but scared???? - of what? A historical perspective? Maybe scared to acknowledge our failure to defend what was ours to preserve, despite being warned? Scared of what?


Just imagine the impact of countless disenchanted Americans having the same response to it as Larry did upon first seeing it!

Bahh - Imagination is for dangerous revolutionaries and visionaries...:eek:

________
First impression is the key to the success or failure of an ad. If it doesn't grab you in a split second, it's on to turning the page, never to return.

What most people don't understand about design, is that when you have a well constructed piece, the slightest change can zap all the energy, balance or both, of the whole. I wish I had a cookie for every "Wow, love it... (looking) ... (stepping back) ... (focusing in close up) ... but can you make this a bit bigger, redder, bluer, smaller or whatever?" Most of the time (almost always) it destroys the "wow" factor. Yes, maybe it works better after staring at it for 5 minutes, but the "clients" you want to reach are long gone after a second or two. An ad is not a coffee-table piece. And focus-groups don't make better ads, they only lessen the responsibility of those responsible, in case the thing bombs.

JTCoyoté
11-14-2007, 06:19 PM
Where has he said this? I thought he took money from anyone and everyone. But he's not like the others in that he won't give anyone special treatment so they probably don't want to give to him anyway.

The ad is suppose to be unusual, powerful, and invoke emotion. That is the whole point and that is what will get people to read it. It should be unique and different.

This ad gets to the Heart of Ron Paul and the Vein that runs through the Founders directly to him...

When elected to represent the people of his constituency, the people who elected him are the ones who should support him in spirit as well as in advice, opinion, and monetary assistance in maintaining offices, covering campaign expenses, as well as staff, researchers, and materials...

He is the people of his constituency's Representative and lobby in congress, who has sworn to uphold the Constitution, which are the rules he must play by, and make sure that he does. He has to be able to explain these rules with communication to his constituents with regard to every vote, as well as to why he cannot vote them just anything, unless it is under his power and clearly defined as such in the rules... namely the Constitution...

He primarily is there to protect his Constituents by keeping others in Congress honest and to make a Constitutional stand against those who do not hold to the Constitutional oath they took.

His constituents support him with contributions which is the way of a "Republic" after all, they are represented by him at the federal level... there is a maximum however that any one contributer can donate so the more $5-$10 donations the merrier...

This is a Republic not a Democracy by the way...

--Oldyoti

"The obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our liberty, not coddle the world, precipitating no-win wars, while bringing bankruptcy and economic turmoil to our people." ~Ron Paul

garkoblogo
11-14-2007, 07:10 PM
of course there are naysayers and critics here as always lol
i think it works
the images of the Founding Fathers still resonate to the core of Americans.
and the punch line at the bottom is also an attention getter.
Once people see that then they will read at least part of the text which is, admittedly, longish.
I give it thumbs up!

Vali
11-14-2007, 07:14 PM
I think I will frame this when it comes out. Well done, Thank you for your generosity LL!

CurtisLow
11-14-2007, 07:18 PM
Very nice! Looks great!!!

enrique
11-14-2007, 08:01 PM
I apologize if it has been brought up before, but are they going to fix the typo in the middle of the ad? The part that starts "...warned of the dangers of political parties..." It starts two lines the same but only completes one of them.

Sorry if it has been addressed earlier on.

Otherwise, a fantastic ad.

eydaimon
11-14-2007, 08:51 PM
awesome! thanks so much for doing this!

Devon
11-14-2007, 10:15 PM
Looks good except the Mainstream Media rant. All this stuff about a mainstream media conspiracy makes us Paul supporters look like crazy. I'm a Paul supporter and I don't see any more false or vicious reports about Paul than I see in the non-mainstream media. That statement should be removed or changed. It could be something positive like, "Thanks to our free press, the public will learn the truth about Ron Paul and his positions regardless of the lies and misrepresentations presented by some individuals in the media." And the claim that media is "centralized" is bogus. The media has never been more decentralized than it is today. The media market is pretty damned free in the U.S., so if it's "centralized" whose fault would that be? Change or remove the MSM statement, please. Thanks.

PineGroveDave
11-14-2007, 10:21 PM
I apologize if it has been brought up before, but are they going to fix the typo in the middle of the ad? The part that starts "...warned of the dangers of political parties..." It starts two lines the same but only completes one of them.

Sorry if it has been addressed earlier on.

Otherwise, a fantastic ad.
I just noticed that too. Has the typo issue been addressed?

Snowfire
11-14-2007, 10:22 PM
Looking good!


Some copy editor comments (if they haven't already been pointed out):


"National Debt", "Central Bank", and "National Security" do not need to be capitalized.

"habeas corpus" could be italicized.

"one-day" and "fund-raiser" do not need hyphens.



.

JTCoyoté
11-15-2007, 12:39 AM
of course there are naysayers and critics here as always lol
i think it works
the images of the Founding Fathers still resonate to the core of Americans.
and the punch line at the bottom is also an attention getter.
Once people see that then they will read at least part of the text which is, admittedly, longish.
I give it thumbs up!

Yes, you are correct... yet the gentleman who inspired this and posted the Dollars, as well as the camera ready art that the others put together, rendered a perfect orchestration of truth and beauty that is as to the point as can be expected given the complexity of the issues we face today.

The only thing that could have been added to make it more perfect would have been to add the portraits of the man from Braintree and his brewer cousin to perfectly round out the images of the founders... other than that it is perfection!

--Oldyoti

"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." ~Ron Paul

RonPaulStreetTeam
11-15-2007, 12:41 AM
my 99 cents

Hey I just wanted to say awesome idea!
One thing I am not too sure about is the "urged congress to hunt down terrorist of 9/11"
Many people pretty much know there were no terrorist.
the voted against Iraq war is good though. Just my thought coming from the San Francisco Bay Area based upon all the people I know and talk to on the streets.

And the Will restore habeas corpus deal, maybe before that "voted against the Military Commissions ACT" which I'm sure he did. I worked for the ACLU fundraising to end that, what a failure they were. But the whole time canvassing on the streets I was passing out business cards with Ron Paul and my site, many conversions out of that!

I guess another thing is.... that was a lot to read. I wouldn't of read it if I was in the paper. Maybe super size and make the bottom left facts stand out. His key eye grabbers. Maybe shrink and deprioritizes all the "warned us about" stuff.
Also.... the top pictures about founding fathers.... people don't care. People don't get sucked in by it....
Well I guess it could use a lot of improvement now that I think critically. (I like Photoshop, advertising marketing and such).
But I mean awesome amazing idea and I think needs a major rework.

Also the ronpaulstop dreaming is a great video but check out and consider my site.
Of course I have that and all the best videos in one spot and it is guaranteed to convert users over to Ron Paul within 3 videos.

www.RonPaulStreetTeam.com

it would be very beneficial to get all those videos in that order to the people which is why I have put alot of work into the site.

Please consider and get back to me.
Sites like Daily Paul and Library are really for hardcore Ron Paul fans. We need noobs to have their short attention span sucked in. They shouldn't sift through tons of financial articles and books on foreign policy. They simply wont.
They vote Obama and Hillary because they don't think that deep.
I am sure my video line up is a much better tool then every up to the minute article filled with mumbo jumbo they want nothing to do with. Give em the short sweet strong freedom message and watch em come over.
I promise!
www.RonPaulStreetTeam.com

JTCoyoté
11-15-2007, 12:44 AM
I just noticed that too. Has the typo issue been addressed?

It is not a typo it is a register... the image is made of two separate jpegs which will be set the one over the other at the lower line when set for printing...

--Oldyoti

"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." ~Ron Paul

Bryan
11-15-2007, 12:49 AM
See the new updates here:
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=37186