thehighwaymanq
04-12-2011, 09:50 PM
It was a remark seemingly made for late-night TV comics: Sen. Jon Kyl's claim that abortion is "well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does."
When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."
Enter Stephen Colbert. The Comedy Central host lampooned the line on last night's show... but it turns out he was just getting started.
http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/12/stephen-colberts-not-factual-hashtagging/
Jon Kyl can unhinge his jaw like a python to swallow small rodents whole. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
The secret to Jon Kyl's success can be found on page 53 of the Necronomicon. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Every halloween Jon Kyl dresses up as a sexy Mitch Daniels. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Along a certain stretch of Mexican highway, Jon Kyl is known as El Autoestopisto Blanco Borracho. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl destroyed love in 1973. All feelings since then have been but a shadow of the original concept. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl actually prefers Hydrox to Oreos. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl's torso is covered in superfluous nipples. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you're a jolly good fellow. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl has the world's most extensive catalogue of snuff films. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl is so mean he once shot a man just for snoring. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl sponsored S.410, which would ban happiness. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: "The Booger Graveyard." #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
John Kyl is 90% prune juice. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl let a game-winning ground ball roll through his legs in Game 6 of the '86 World Series. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona Desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
In 2009, Jon Kyl lost $380,000 wagering on dwarf tossing. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl murdered a caricaturist for drawing him with a basketball instead of a surfboard. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl = ax2 + bx + c #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl holds the Guinness World Record for "Largest Collection of Penis Enlargers." #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl has a $1000-a-day Lik-M-Aid habit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl calls all Asians "Neil" no matter what their name is. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl's knees bend both ways. He's part racehorse. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl assassinated Archduke Ferdinand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
On weekends, Jon Kyl shoots manatees with paintball guns. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl was the CEO of Enron when they took all those people's pension money. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
All this Choxygen is making me thirsty. Better crack open a cold Coca-Colair.
Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
http://twitter.com/StephenAtHome
Hahahahaha. So funny!
When the actual figure turned out to be 3%, his office released a statement clarifying that Kyl's figure was "not intended to be a factual statement."
Enter Stephen Colbert. The Comedy Central host lampooned the line on last night's show... but it turns out he was just getting started.
http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/12/stephen-colberts-not-factual-hashtagging/
Jon Kyl can unhinge his jaw like a python to swallow small rodents whole. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
The secret to Jon Kyl's success can be found on page 53 of the Necronomicon. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Every halloween Jon Kyl dresses up as a sexy Mitch Daniels. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Along a certain stretch of Mexican highway, Jon Kyl is known as El Autoestopisto Blanco Borracho. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl destroyed love in 1973. All feelings since then have been but a shadow of the original concept. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl actually prefers Hydrox to Oreos. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl's torso is covered in superfluous nipples. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you're a jolly good fellow. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl has the world's most extensive catalogue of snuff films. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl is so mean he once shot a man just for snoring. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl sponsored S.410, which would ban happiness. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: "The Booger Graveyard." #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
John Kyl is 90% prune juice. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl let a game-winning ground ball roll through his legs in Game 6 of the '86 World Series. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona Desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
In 2009, Jon Kyl lost $380,000 wagering on dwarf tossing. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl murdered a caricaturist for drawing him with a basketball instead of a surfboard. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl = ax2 + bx + c #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl holds the Guinness World Record for "Largest Collection of Penis Enlargers." #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl has a $1000-a-day Lik-M-Aid habit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl calls all Asians "Neil" no matter what their name is. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl's knees bend both ways. He's part racehorse. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl assassinated Archduke Ferdinand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
On weekends, Jon Kyl shoots manatees with paintball guns. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
Jon Kyl was the CEO of Enron when they took all those people's pension money. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
All this Choxygen is making me thirsty. Better crack open a cold Coca-Colair.
Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
http://twitter.com/StephenAtHome
Hahahahaha. So funny!