TheNcredibleEgg
03-16-2011, 11:53 PM
Hi, I am relatively new to this site - and I thought I'd post this thread - which was recently completed on another website by myself and several other posters. It was largely ignored (or not understood) there, but I thought it might be appreciated here. Some of the ways are tongue-in-cheek, some are serious.
101 Reasons You might be a Keynesian if:
1) Instead of giving your kids allowances, you give them weekly stimulus checks.
2) You lose your job and your wife says, "We'll just have to tighten our belts and get by." Stunned by her words, you file for divorce the next day, citing "irreconcilable differences."
3) Instead of encouraging your kids to get after school jobs to help out, you tell them instead to go around town and break some windows. That will really teach 'em how to contribute to the local economy.
4) You bitterly try to stave off winter every year. Outdoor air conditioning, heat lamps in the garden. Whatever is takes. You must keep the tulip bulbs growing, dammit!
5) You have a kid who suffers from a severe immune deficiency. He lives in a bubble. You call him Economy Boy.
6) Your kid asks for a piggy bank, and you decide, right then and there, it's time for a life lesson so you ground the kid a month for wanting to save.
7) Grandpa one day says "a penny saved is a penny earned" and you tell your wife that dad must be going senile.
8) Christmas is not the big shopping holiday in your family. It's the 4th of July because you believe shopping is everyone's patriotic duty.
9) Natural disasters to be welcomed. Nothing stimulates the economy better than rebuilding in the aftermath.
10) Your wife asked you if you would balance the checkbook, and you just stare at her confused and completely dumbfounded, thinking she must be speaking a foreign language.
11) Your wife says that you are getting a bit of a gut. You tell her it's just healthy inflation.
12) You cannoy decide whether GWB or Obama is the greatest President of all-time.
13) When people complain about illegal immigrants, you nod in agreement, and say, "Yup, all those damn Austrians need to go."
14) You think vigilante justice should be punished harshly. Especially those bond vigilantes - they deserve the chair.
15) You don't understand why anyone would hesitate to accept the dollar bills that you ran off on the copier.
16) You decide that it must be due to a lack of consumer confidence and that the solution is to run off even more dollar bills on the copier.
17) Despite what happened in Argentina, you still believe we can spend our way to prosperity.
18) A thief picks your pocket and makes off with $200 and you think this is okay because the thief will undoubtedly buy clothes, booze, and entertainment, thus stimulating the economy.
19) Whenever applying for credit, you take your kids with you, and ask, "Well, kids, what do ya think? Can ole' dad afford the new car?" Then you tell the kids where to sign.
20) You consider the "Fear the Boom and Bust" video on YouTube blasphemy, and have petitioned repeatedly to have the video marked as vulgar.
21) You believe that Germans during the Weimer Republic carrying wheel barrels of money to buy a loaf of bread is a conspiracy theory.
22) After losing your job and your wife, you decide the rest of the family needs a little distraction so you send your kids out in the neighborhood to beat up on the weaker kids. The distraction works nicely, as expected, and it stimulates the economy too!
23) Deflation is a dirty word in your household. So much so that you threaten to rinse your kids' mouths out with soap if they ever say it.
24) You played a game of Monopoly five years ago where you doubled as the banker. That game is still ongoing today. Your opponent controls most of the properties, but you have simply expanded the money supply countless times over to pay off your debts like any good central banker does.
25) When grandpa says things like "back in my day candy bars used to cost a nickel. A nickel!" you just smile and shrug, failing to grasp the real implications of that fact.
26) If anyone points out the ineffectiveness of a stimulus package, you respond that the government just didn't spend enough.
27) You live in the United States or most any other country because, let's face it, whether we like it or not, "We are all Keynesians now."
28) You don't understand why mal-investments are considered such a negative for the economy. Except for the obvious fact most people cannot spell, mall investments are great. We always need more malls.
29) When you finally succumb to your debt and file for bankruptcy, you tell the judge that if you can just get another credit card, all your problems would be solved.
30) When paying for something, and asked "Will that be debit or credit?" You reply there is no i in debt. Huh? The cashier stares back, confused. You try to explain your not so clever word play, before finally sheepishly saying, "credit, of course."
31) A neighbor of yours gives you an old wheelbarrow as a gift and alludes to the fact that you will be in dire need of it one day. You shrug and thank them. They always were a little odd. The family emigrated from Germany back in the day and you knew they were rather poor since they never spent any money. Perhaps a wheelbarrow was all they could afford?
32) Well, well, well, here we stand at #32 out of a promised 101. Let's call the gap an unfunded mandate. What to do? What to do? Well, that's an easy problem for the Keynesians. Just turn on the printing presses and warm up the helicopters, if necessary. Let the magic of inflation do its job.
*short time later*
101) <-- See, see. 101 promised, 101 delivered. All is well. The magic of inflation. Nevermind the fact that the 101 doesn't seem quite up to snuff somehow. All that matters is the mandate was fulfilled. If it doesn't seem quite all you expected, well, your expectations were just wrong. That is all.
10000000000001) Oops - looks like we overshot by a tad. But oh - that wheelbarrow sure does come in handy now.
101 Reasons You might be a Keynesian if:
1) Instead of giving your kids allowances, you give them weekly stimulus checks.
2) You lose your job and your wife says, "We'll just have to tighten our belts and get by." Stunned by her words, you file for divorce the next day, citing "irreconcilable differences."
3) Instead of encouraging your kids to get after school jobs to help out, you tell them instead to go around town and break some windows. That will really teach 'em how to contribute to the local economy.
4) You bitterly try to stave off winter every year. Outdoor air conditioning, heat lamps in the garden. Whatever is takes. You must keep the tulip bulbs growing, dammit!
5) You have a kid who suffers from a severe immune deficiency. He lives in a bubble. You call him Economy Boy.
6) Your kid asks for a piggy bank, and you decide, right then and there, it's time for a life lesson so you ground the kid a month for wanting to save.
7) Grandpa one day says "a penny saved is a penny earned" and you tell your wife that dad must be going senile.
8) Christmas is not the big shopping holiday in your family. It's the 4th of July because you believe shopping is everyone's patriotic duty.
9) Natural disasters to be welcomed. Nothing stimulates the economy better than rebuilding in the aftermath.
10) Your wife asked you if you would balance the checkbook, and you just stare at her confused and completely dumbfounded, thinking she must be speaking a foreign language.
11) Your wife says that you are getting a bit of a gut. You tell her it's just healthy inflation.
12) You cannoy decide whether GWB or Obama is the greatest President of all-time.
13) When people complain about illegal immigrants, you nod in agreement, and say, "Yup, all those damn Austrians need to go."
14) You think vigilante justice should be punished harshly. Especially those bond vigilantes - they deserve the chair.
15) You don't understand why anyone would hesitate to accept the dollar bills that you ran off on the copier.
16) You decide that it must be due to a lack of consumer confidence and that the solution is to run off even more dollar bills on the copier.
17) Despite what happened in Argentina, you still believe we can spend our way to prosperity.
18) A thief picks your pocket and makes off with $200 and you think this is okay because the thief will undoubtedly buy clothes, booze, and entertainment, thus stimulating the economy.
19) Whenever applying for credit, you take your kids with you, and ask, "Well, kids, what do ya think? Can ole' dad afford the new car?" Then you tell the kids where to sign.
20) You consider the "Fear the Boom and Bust" video on YouTube blasphemy, and have petitioned repeatedly to have the video marked as vulgar.
21) You believe that Germans during the Weimer Republic carrying wheel barrels of money to buy a loaf of bread is a conspiracy theory.
22) After losing your job and your wife, you decide the rest of the family needs a little distraction so you send your kids out in the neighborhood to beat up on the weaker kids. The distraction works nicely, as expected, and it stimulates the economy too!
23) Deflation is a dirty word in your household. So much so that you threaten to rinse your kids' mouths out with soap if they ever say it.
24) You played a game of Monopoly five years ago where you doubled as the banker. That game is still ongoing today. Your opponent controls most of the properties, but you have simply expanded the money supply countless times over to pay off your debts like any good central banker does.
25) When grandpa says things like "back in my day candy bars used to cost a nickel. A nickel!" you just smile and shrug, failing to grasp the real implications of that fact.
26) If anyone points out the ineffectiveness of a stimulus package, you respond that the government just didn't spend enough.
27) You live in the United States or most any other country because, let's face it, whether we like it or not, "We are all Keynesians now."
28) You don't understand why mal-investments are considered such a negative for the economy. Except for the obvious fact most people cannot spell, mall investments are great. We always need more malls.
29) When you finally succumb to your debt and file for bankruptcy, you tell the judge that if you can just get another credit card, all your problems would be solved.
30) When paying for something, and asked "Will that be debit or credit?" You reply there is no i in debt. Huh? The cashier stares back, confused. You try to explain your not so clever word play, before finally sheepishly saying, "credit, of course."
31) A neighbor of yours gives you an old wheelbarrow as a gift and alludes to the fact that you will be in dire need of it one day. You shrug and thank them. They always were a little odd. The family emigrated from Germany back in the day and you knew they were rather poor since they never spent any money. Perhaps a wheelbarrow was all they could afford?
32) Well, well, well, here we stand at #32 out of a promised 101. Let's call the gap an unfunded mandate. What to do? What to do? Well, that's an easy problem for the Keynesians. Just turn on the printing presses and warm up the helicopters, if necessary. Let the magic of inflation do its job.
*short time later*
101) <-- See, see. 101 promised, 101 delivered. All is well. The magic of inflation. Nevermind the fact that the 101 doesn't seem quite up to snuff somehow. All that matters is the mandate was fulfilled. If it doesn't seem quite all you expected, well, your expectations were just wrong. That is all.
10000000000001) Oops - looks like we overshot by a tad. But oh - that wheelbarrow sure does come in handy now.