So you say you want hope/change/revolution

[Catatonic]

There is a reason ideological revolutions generally take 20 to 30 years. And this is it:

http://www.mychildhealth.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/baby-name.jpg

If I were to tell you what the single most detrimental aspect of society is, most here would probably expect me to respond that it's the government, but that is wrong. If I had to point at one single thing that holds society back, that is the most destructive, that is the cause of a great majority of our problems, its not the government. It's child abuse.

We all have heard the analogy of children and sponges. They absorb everything they see and everything they experience, and it to a great extent affects them for the rest of their lives. So why do so many people feel it is best to raise children in an atmosphere of aggression and dominance? Is it any surprise so many people take these things as par for the course in their lives?

If you really want to affect any kind of real, lasting change, it starts with your children. There is NO REASON to indoctrinate a child on the virtues of violence and aggression, of order through dominance, but to change this will mean working yourself out of these paradigms as well.

Below is an introduction to a great series (which is itself introductory) to these concepts that I would encourage anyone who honestly sees a need for real change to watch and consider.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT4tzwH_K8M

I'm not medical expert nor do I have any qualifications in society, but the series itself has a lot of well researched factual information.

[justinc.1089]

I couldn't agree more. I'm 22 and a friend of mine who's a little younger, I guess he's like 18-19, has screwed up his entire life really badly already. He isn't a thief or anything, but he was hanging around with an absolute idiot 14 year old, why I have no idea, and the kid thought it would be hilarious to steal some suv's they were near that had the keys left in them. They got caught, so now my friend's life is over. I'm amazed he didn't end up with a lengthy prison sentence because I think there was more to what happened than what I know, like more cars or something.

My point is, he did something stupid like that because his mother is insane. She's so hateful, angry, and verbally abusive the rest of us would get nervous if we were ever around my friend's mom. She would yell at not only her son over nothing, but at the rest of us too in the process, so I can only imagine what went on in his house behind closed doors.

And my personal childhood had a similar story to that as well. My dad was a cop, and generally treated his family like we were criminals or something.

So yeah, don't abuse your children.

That includes verbal abuse. Raising your voice at your child to the point of terrifying and/or angering them is psychologically damaging to them. "Spanking" them is also abusive, especially when a parent can't distinguish between beating the hell out of their child and a spanking. But that doesn't mean just a "spanking" is ok either. If you "popped" your pet a few times, and went near it the next day, you know it will be nervous and intimidated by you, and probably try to avoid you out of fear that you will hit it again. People are the same way, especially children.

Keeping your kids in good company with other decent kids, giving them a healthy balanced diet, and making sure they exercise and study will go much further towards helping them learn to be responsible and to behave than physical punishment/ abuse ever will.

[Jim Casey]

Beliefs are nothing more than ideas with emotions attached to them. Traumas are simply one form of emotion. Violence does not necessarily have to be aggressive, it can be assertive. Developing the warrior spirit is as much a part of having a healthy balanced personality as is developing the nurturing lover spirit. I like to think of the sword as simply one tool of assertiveness, and the shield as a tool against the aggression of others. The king or queen spirit must also be developed, which would be represented by ability to influence others in strategic ways. The magician spirit would be represented by the ability to fascinate and entertain.

Developing these four spirits holistically is key to mature psychological development.

[justinc.1089]

Violence is violence. If you are "asserting" yourself over a child, you ARE hurting that child. Period.

Only an immature, childish mind that was controlled with force thinks that is the only way or a correct way to discipline and/or punish others, including children.

It is immature, childish, intellectual sloth.

A child hits another child to make the other child do what they want them to. An adult reasons with another adult logically and fairly until the two reach an agreement with mutual consent, or until one or both give up.

Why use force to discipline a child when it is not necessary? Tons of parents discipline without using force.

[Jim Casey]

Violence is violence. If you are "asserting" yourself over a child, you ARE hurting that child. Period.

Only an immature, childish mind that was controlled with force thinks that is the only way or a correct way to discipline and/or punish others, including children.

It is immature, childish, intellectual sloth.

A child hits another child to make the other child do what they want them to. An adult reasons with another adult logically and fairly until the two reach an agreement with mutual consent, or until one or both give up.

Why use force to discipline a child when it is not necessary? Tons of parents discipline without using force.
Children often fight one another for sport. It does not have to be about assertion or aggression, but rather a logical means of disciplining the self defense skills of each other. Adults can also be instructors of self defense. It is immature sloth to allow a child's warrior spirit to go undeveloped.

It is essential that the caregiver or parent have control over the child, and when the child is taught self-defense that child isn't such an easy target of the aggression of others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnDyvn4dzh0

[justinc.1089]

Children often fight one another for sport. It does not have to be about assertion or aggression, but rather a logical means of disciplining the self defense skills of each other. Adults can also be instructors of self defense. It is immature sloth to allow a child's warrior spirit to go undeveloped.

It is essential that the caregiver or parent have control over the child, and when the child is taught self-defense that child isn't such an easy target of the aggression of others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnDyvn4dzh0

I totally missed your point a second ago. I don't see anything wrong with teaching a kid to be able to defend themselves.

However, you can control and discipline a kid without laying a hand on them. That's not necessary to discipline them well. But I'm not sure if you meant it is necessary or not.

[Jim Casey]

I totally missed your point a second ago. I don't see anything wrong with teaching a kid to be able to defend themselves.

However, you can control and discipline a kid without laying a hand on them. That's not necessary to discipline them well. But I'm not sure if you meant it is necessary or not.
Physical contact is a basic human need. A loving hand is one that gives a pat on the back. An assertive hand blocks a child's aggression. A king's hand shows mutual respect with a handshake. A magician's hand will give a high five, on the side, down low, and perhaps even a you're too slow.

[YumYum]

Spanking, beating a child is insane. Parents beat their kids because they are impatient, or crazy. If a child needs beating, it's because he/she needs to be worked with. If a child doesn't respond to a parent's love and guidance, than the child and parent should see a therapist. Beating on a child is no different than a man beating on a woman. It's bullying, and it is abuse.

[ClayTrainor]

Thank you Catatonic for this great post! I couldn't agree more.

I don't have kids of my own, but I've recently come to the conclusion that I should always intervene wherever I see aggression being used towards Children, and I regret not having done so in the past. By intervene, I just mean I'm probably going to step in and ask some tough questions, and hope that the kid sees that this behavior is not okay.

Teaching children that aggression is always wrong at a young age, is probably the most important thing a libertarian can do to promote freedom for the future.

[lynnf]

Children often fight one another for sport. It does not have to be about assertion or aggression, but rather a logical means of disciplining the self defense skills of each other. Adults can also be instructors of self defense. It is immature sloth to allow a child's warrior spirit to go undeveloped.

It is essential that the caregiver or parent have control over the child, and when the child is taught self-defense that child isn't such an easy target of the aggression of others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnDyvn4dzh0

make sure you not only teach them to punch and kick, but how to get out of a headlock, too. if they don't know how to do that, they could lose any fight right from the beginning.

lynn