Oyate
09-16-2009, 12:18 AM
There was one ark and maybe a few hundred thousand or million animal species. There was one God who spoke to one man, Noah. And God said "gather the animals two by two" and Noah said "I hear and obey oh Lord".
Now this was in the early time before animals all feared men and when animals still spoke to men so many were standing around listening. Some deer nearby said "he's talking to God again, let's listen in" and when they heard "gather the animals" one deer said to another "you know, I got a funny feeling about this". And just then Noah reached down and grabbed up a mouse and the mouse started shrieking "hey what are you doing put me down you are hurting me help help help!" but before anyone could react, Noah stuffed the poor mouse into the giant house thing he was building and Noah turned and stared straight at the deer and said "you deer, come here pronto".
The second deer said to the first "you know, of all the curious things I've seen humans do, I've never imagined something so absurd as them building such a large trap for a mouse. And besides, when did you ever see a human eat a mouse?"
And Noah said louder "you deer, step over here lively, I got something to show you".
And the first deer said "like what?"
And Noah said "come here and I'll show you".
And the first deer said "show us from here".
And Noah said "I can't, it's in this big house thing I built, it's called an Ark".
And the first deer said "is that what you are calling mice these days?" and turning to all the other animals around, the musk oxen grazing and the hopping bunnies and said "folks, did you or did you not just see Noah put a mouse in that box?" and all the animals said "yes we did, we did indeed and the mouse screamed most fearfully, we can hear him even now" and everybody listened and sure enough, you could faintly but distinctly hear the mouse screaming "I told you sons of bitches to let me out and if you won't let me out I'm a-gonna chew my way out" and Noah said "oh no you ain't" and Noah set off running as fast as his skinny old legs could carry him toward the big-box-house-thing he built with his robes flapping around his ankles and he threw open the door and the little mouse shot out from between his legs which set everybody to laughing but old Noah twirled around and raised a foot and all the sudden every voice was silent for it looked like Noah might stomp on the little mouse but the mouse ran and ran and kept running right past everybody with old Noah coming up close behind and that was enough for everybody.
Everybody turned and ran. Even the musk oxen who hadn't been paying much attention. Nobody was sure quite what just happened but they weren't sticking around to find out.
Late that night, gathering together by ones and twos, stumbling across each other in the dark, the animals slowly massed. The little mouse was discovered and naturally everybody wanted to know if he had any previous disagreements with Noah or if some explanatory factor could be derived. They also closely questioned why Noah had called the mouse an Ark? But most of all, everybody wanted to know what was in the big box? Did going in the big box make one an Ark?
That was the spooky thing explained the mouse. What he saw inside were many passageways like the burrows his people dug but they were of all shapes and sizes he said. Big ones, little ones, short ones, tall ones, all kinds.
"Surely" said the elephant, "there is no burrow big enough for me" and the mouse said actually there are two of them.
"Surely" said the giraffe, "there is no burrow tall enough for me" and the mouse again said yes, there are two of them, not one but two. The giraffe looked at her mate in horror. Her mate said "mouse, are there trees in these burrows, for as you know, us giraffes eat tree leaves" and the mouse said with gravity "no, oh giraffe, I could see no leaves" and all the leaf eaters ghasped. And all the grazing animals said "what about grass? is there grass?" and the mouse said "there is neither grass nor even dirt" upon which a grievous crying seemed to arise from the land itself for the earth-worms and moles had been listening with great interest.
A great argument arose. Nobody liked the sound of this, it sounded like a trap. The coyotes, wolves and foxes explained the concept of a trap in great detail. When they were done the prey animals were greatly enlightened but the business at hand seemed more desperate. For it all came down to a theological argument. Many animals had heard God tell Noah to gather them two by two. So it really came down for some as a matter of trusting God.
Others developed a notion that there really was no God or that God was simply a different order of animal, perhaps an animal from a different place and he might be in cahoots with Noah and they might not simply be trusted. "Think for yourselves" they urged their neighbors. These were reinforced by the carnivores who went so far as to suggest that every animal that went in there would likely be eaten. Little mouse got lucky they said because Noah isn't a very skilled hunter, not being as fast or as agile as we are, and this is why he has built such a large and complicated trap.
The argument went on with no resolution, but finally the pro-God/Noah factions decided to go back to Noah's place and simply ask if he wanted them to go into this box-burrow thing for whatever reason. So they departed, leaving the un-trusting animals to sit in the forrest and wonder what would happen next.
Just then Noah and his sons came crashing through the trees. They had surrounded the animals in the forrest. They were trapped. They tried to explain that half of them had already gone back to do whatever he wanted with them but by then Noah was in a fowl mood. And he herded them back into the box-burrow. And they greatly lammented their fate. They were cramped and uncomfortable and never got enough to eat although they didn't want much in a while for the whole burrow started pitching and shaking and they were all sick from the motion and they cursed Noah. And in the close quarters, the animals fell to fighting and bickering and in the end, when Noah finally let them out of this aweful box and said "there, now you are free" they ran from him as far as they could get. But somehow everything had changed, nobody could find their house or anything familiar and there was water all over the place. But they held a final counsel.
From now on, they determined, they would never again speak the language of man. He was to be alien from them from now on. He would be ostracised, this would be his punishment forever. For further security, it was determined that one way Noah had snuck up on them so easy is they all hung out together. From now on, each order of animals would have it's own language, it's own ways and they would not hang out together but keep to their own kind. They would never congregate unless they could help it. Noah might be able to catch some of us next time they explained, but not all of us.
The big cats really took over the coaching on this one, showing how one could reverse direction, loop around, climb trees if necessary. And this is why to this day they talk about herding cats.
Now this was in the early time before animals all feared men and when animals still spoke to men so many were standing around listening. Some deer nearby said "he's talking to God again, let's listen in" and when they heard "gather the animals" one deer said to another "you know, I got a funny feeling about this". And just then Noah reached down and grabbed up a mouse and the mouse started shrieking "hey what are you doing put me down you are hurting me help help help!" but before anyone could react, Noah stuffed the poor mouse into the giant house thing he was building and Noah turned and stared straight at the deer and said "you deer, come here pronto".
The second deer said to the first "you know, of all the curious things I've seen humans do, I've never imagined something so absurd as them building such a large trap for a mouse. And besides, when did you ever see a human eat a mouse?"
And Noah said louder "you deer, step over here lively, I got something to show you".
And the first deer said "like what?"
And Noah said "come here and I'll show you".
And the first deer said "show us from here".
And Noah said "I can't, it's in this big house thing I built, it's called an Ark".
And the first deer said "is that what you are calling mice these days?" and turning to all the other animals around, the musk oxen grazing and the hopping bunnies and said "folks, did you or did you not just see Noah put a mouse in that box?" and all the animals said "yes we did, we did indeed and the mouse screamed most fearfully, we can hear him even now" and everybody listened and sure enough, you could faintly but distinctly hear the mouse screaming "I told you sons of bitches to let me out and if you won't let me out I'm a-gonna chew my way out" and Noah said "oh no you ain't" and Noah set off running as fast as his skinny old legs could carry him toward the big-box-house-thing he built with his robes flapping around his ankles and he threw open the door and the little mouse shot out from between his legs which set everybody to laughing but old Noah twirled around and raised a foot and all the sudden every voice was silent for it looked like Noah might stomp on the little mouse but the mouse ran and ran and kept running right past everybody with old Noah coming up close behind and that was enough for everybody.
Everybody turned and ran. Even the musk oxen who hadn't been paying much attention. Nobody was sure quite what just happened but they weren't sticking around to find out.
Late that night, gathering together by ones and twos, stumbling across each other in the dark, the animals slowly massed. The little mouse was discovered and naturally everybody wanted to know if he had any previous disagreements with Noah or if some explanatory factor could be derived. They also closely questioned why Noah had called the mouse an Ark? But most of all, everybody wanted to know what was in the big box? Did going in the big box make one an Ark?
That was the spooky thing explained the mouse. What he saw inside were many passageways like the burrows his people dug but they were of all shapes and sizes he said. Big ones, little ones, short ones, tall ones, all kinds.
"Surely" said the elephant, "there is no burrow big enough for me" and the mouse said actually there are two of them.
"Surely" said the giraffe, "there is no burrow tall enough for me" and the mouse again said yes, there are two of them, not one but two. The giraffe looked at her mate in horror. Her mate said "mouse, are there trees in these burrows, for as you know, us giraffes eat tree leaves" and the mouse said with gravity "no, oh giraffe, I could see no leaves" and all the leaf eaters ghasped. And all the grazing animals said "what about grass? is there grass?" and the mouse said "there is neither grass nor even dirt" upon which a grievous crying seemed to arise from the land itself for the earth-worms and moles had been listening with great interest.
A great argument arose. Nobody liked the sound of this, it sounded like a trap. The coyotes, wolves and foxes explained the concept of a trap in great detail. When they were done the prey animals were greatly enlightened but the business at hand seemed more desperate. For it all came down to a theological argument. Many animals had heard God tell Noah to gather them two by two. So it really came down for some as a matter of trusting God.
Others developed a notion that there really was no God or that God was simply a different order of animal, perhaps an animal from a different place and he might be in cahoots with Noah and they might not simply be trusted. "Think for yourselves" they urged their neighbors. These were reinforced by the carnivores who went so far as to suggest that every animal that went in there would likely be eaten. Little mouse got lucky they said because Noah isn't a very skilled hunter, not being as fast or as agile as we are, and this is why he has built such a large and complicated trap.
The argument went on with no resolution, but finally the pro-God/Noah factions decided to go back to Noah's place and simply ask if he wanted them to go into this box-burrow thing for whatever reason. So they departed, leaving the un-trusting animals to sit in the forrest and wonder what would happen next.
Just then Noah and his sons came crashing through the trees. They had surrounded the animals in the forrest. They were trapped. They tried to explain that half of them had already gone back to do whatever he wanted with them but by then Noah was in a fowl mood. And he herded them back into the box-burrow. And they greatly lammented their fate. They were cramped and uncomfortable and never got enough to eat although they didn't want much in a while for the whole burrow started pitching and shaking and they were all sick from the motion and they cursed Noah. And in the close quarters, the animals fell to fighting and bickering and in the end, when Noah finally let them out of this aweful box and said "there, now you are free" they ran from him as far as they could get. But somehow everything had changed, nobody could find their house or anything familiar and there was water all over the place. But they held a final counsel.
From now on, they determined, they would never again speak the language of man. He was to be alien from them from now on. He would be ostracised, this would be his punishment forever. For further security, it was determined that one way Noah had snuck up on them so easy is they all hung out together. From now on, each order of animals would have it's own language, it's own ways and they would not hang out together but keep to their own kind. They would never congregate unless they could help it. Noah might be able to catch some of us next time they explained, but not all of us.
The big cats really took over the coaching on this one, showing how one could reverse direction, loop around, climb trees if necessary. And this is why to this day they talk about herding cats.