PDA

View Full Version : Obama Jokes




Standing Like A Rock
03-30-2009, 05:06 PM
MOD NOTE: Can be moved to "Off Topic" forum if you want it to.

Q. Why did George Bush declare a state of emergency for Barack Obama's inauguration?

A. Because everyone knows it's a national disaster.


Q. What's an example of irony?

A. Bruce Springsteen is scheduled to sing "Born in the USA" at Barack Obama's inauguration.


Chief Justice Roberts: Knock, knock.

Barack Obama: Who's there?

Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya.

Barack Obama: Kenya who?

Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya show me your birth certificate before you're sworn in?


Barack Obama: Knock, knock.

Taxpayers at the inauguration: Who's there?

Barack Obama: Eff.

Taxpayers at the inauguration: Eff who?

Barack Obama: Eff you.



Q. Why did the Secret Service double security on Michelle Obama immediately after the inauguration?

A. If something happened to her, then Barack would be in charge.



Q. What will America's national bird be when Obama takes office?

A. His middle finger.



Q. Why is the Secret Service installing lighting rods at the White House?

A. To protect President Obama as he takes his Oath of Office.


Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Dripping Rain
03-30-2009, 05:10 PM
q. What's an example of irony?

A. Bruce springsteen is scheduled to sing "born in the usa" at barack obama's inauguration.




roflmao

Standing Like A Rock
03-30-2009, 05:17 PM
roflmao

that was my favorite too, lol :D

A. Havnes
03-31-2009, 09:15 AM
Those were great!

Truth Warrior
03-31-2009, 09:20 AM
The Kenyan POTUS TAUGHT the CONstitution. ( sick "joke" :p )

acptulsa
03-31-2009, 09:23 AM
Obama joke: Timothy Geithner.

Truth Warrior
03-31-2009, 09:32 AM
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?

A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.




Q. Why is Barack Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
A. She the one with the cojones.


Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.

Q. Why does Barack want higher taxes?
A. Cause he won’t be the one paying them.


Q: What's the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy. (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Q. What's the difference between Pinocchio and Barack Obama?
A. Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.


Q. Candidate Obama has been telling us, “Yes We Can.” What will President Obama tell us?
A. “Yes You Will.”

Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.


Q. Why did Barack Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A. He didn’t want to have to work for a living.

Q: What is a lawyer gone bad called?
A: Senator Obama.

Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.

Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.

Q. Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A. It will only have a left wing.

Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
Barack Obama says, “Let them eat arugala.”

Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.

acptulsa
03-31-2009, 09:58 AM
So Geithner was pumping money laundered through AIG and probably Fannie and Freddie into unprofitable banks and making them look profitable--and making them look like good investments--causing another stock market bubble.

I have one, but it ain't funny:

What's the difference between Bernie Madoff and Barack Obama?

The people Madoff duped into making bad investments could afford the losses.

heavenlyboy34
03-31-2009, 10:00 AM
Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

My favorite! ^^

Truth Warrior
03-31-2009, 12:49 PM
Obama is so pretty that Michelle carried him over the threshhold

Obama is so pretty that the Navy won't name a submarine after him

Obama is so pretty that he knows Victoria's Secret

Obama is so pretty that he never has that "not so fresh" feeling

Obama is so pretty that he never farts

Obama is so pretty that he won't give Hillary Clinton his phone number