How many Libertarians does it take...

[Conza88]

To screw in a Light bulb?...




None.




The free market will take care of it!

To lighten my mood & everyone elses, it would be cool if you could post any Jokes, Witticisms {I thought I made up a word... but apparently not http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/4204/maddu7.gif}, and other hilarious stories. Please try keep it to politics / anything remotely related to the movement... :D

I've got more but will savior them. So post away! :o

[coyote_sprit]

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.

and

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

[Conza88]

How can you tell if a politician is lying?...







His lips are moving...

:D lol

[CaseyJones]

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."

The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Obama. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."

Barack declines and jogs onward. The next day Barack jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."

The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. Obama, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."

Barack says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"

She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

[Conza88]

Why did the Libertarian cross the road?...







To start his own country.

:Drofl

[coyote_sprit]

Your Question isn't appearing for me Conza only the answer.

[Conza88]

** Keep in mind here: "Anarchists" is being used in the traditional sense, the first European socialists who tend to hate the state because its a Capitalist institution.. (:rolleyes:) lol... Anyway, obviously completely different to anarcho-capitalism.. But we digress... :)
So:



What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians?



• Libertarians are anarchists with money.
• Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
• Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.
• Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
• Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
• Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
• Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
• A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
• Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
• Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
• Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in anything.
• Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and lose.
• Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists don't care what libertarians think.

[coyote_sprit]

It's easier when it's in the quote box.

[coyote_sprit]

A communist was being interviewed by a reporter:
Reporter: If you have two houses, will you give me one?
Communist: Of course, yes!
Reporter: If you have two cars, will you give me one?
Communist: Of course, yes!
Reporter:If you have two shirts, will you give me one?
Communist: Of course, no!
Reporter: Why no this time?
Communist: Because I have two shirts!

[Conza88]

Two politicians go out to lunch together. In the middle of lunch one of them jumps up and says:
"Damn. I forgot to lock the office safe before we left."

The other politician replies: "No worries..."

"We're both here."




Late one night in the Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"


"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"


Hehe

[Conza88]

How many union guys does it take to change a lightbulb?



Fifteen. You got a problem with that?



A socialist, a capitalist and a communist agreed to meet. The socialist was late. 'Excuse me for being late, I was standing in a queue for sausages.'


'And what is a queue?' the capitalist asked.


'And what is a sausage?' the communist asked.

:D lol

[Conza88]

In a madhouse there was a propagandist highly praising the Soviet Authority. When he finished everyone applauded except for one man standing off to one side.

'And why aren't you clapping?' asked the propagandist.

'I'm not a lunatic, I'm the hospital attendant!'
:)

[Isaac Bickerstaff]

Barr, Obama and McCain were canoeing through cannibal territory together when they were captured by cannibals. The leader of the tribe told them, "We are not savages; we will allow you to have any weapon you would like to use to try to escape. If you lose, we will eat you and make a canoe out of your skin."

Bob Barr said, "OK, give me a machine gun." They gave him a machine gun and he did his best Rambo impersonation mowing down cannibals until he ran out of bullets. The cannibals got him and made a canoe out of him.

Obama saw this and said, "Change! Give me a sword!" Despite his coddled upbringing in Hawaii, he was actually pretty good with a sword until one of the tribesmen got him with a spear and they made a canoe out of him.

John McCain looked at the situation closely and thought about it for awhile and said, "Give me a fork!"

Grasping the fork firmly in hand, he began stabbing himself all over the chest saying, "They're not going to make a canoe out of me!"

[acptulsa]

How many anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. Which makes changing a light bulb one of the few things an anarchist can accomplish...