JaylieWoW
09-25-2008, 01:51 PM
I am going to peer into the future and give you some major news events before they happen. No I'm not Nostradamus, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
* November 4, 2008 - McCain/Palin wins. The European community is astonished. The Prime Minister of England says, "in retrospect I'm glad all those damn Puritans left".
* November 5, 2008 7:15 A.M. - Hillary Clinton announces her plans to run for President in 2012.
* November 5, 2008 7:16 A.M. - Obama announces his plan to run for President in 2012. He also announces that from 6 A.M. to 7:16 A.M. his campaign has raised 12 million dollars.
* November 7, 2008 - The first of 987 Democratic primary debates will be held.
* February 12, 2009 - While hunting Dick Cheney accidentally shoots George W. Bush. Cheney was very apologetic. He said "I swear, he looks just like a deer".
* Easter 2009 - Vice President Palin announces that the traditional Easter egg hunt will be replaced with a witch hunt. Little children are encouraged to bring lighter fluid and stones.
* May 15, 2009 - McCain and Palin attend private viewing of the new Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. McCain remarks, "that flying squirrel is so cool".
* March 3, 2010 - Tensions increase between Spain and US after McCain addresses the Prime Minister of Spain as gringo. McCain later said it was taken out of context. McCain extends an olive branch to Mr. Zapatero. He calls and says come on over to the White House on Saturday. We'll watch a little soccer and have some tacos.
* June 6, 2010 - Bill Clinton releases Part 36 of his new serial, "I Can't Wait Until 2012".
* November 12, 2010 - In a remarkable story the White House announces that McCain has been missing for over a month. Palin says last time I saw him he was checking his e-mail. Palin's remarks arouses suspicion.
* December 14, 2010 - McCain has been found. He was being held captive in the White House basement by Palin. Palin says, "I thought he would enjoy it". McCain says the first few days were fun. Palin says she was going to let him out after Christmas.
* December 19, 2010 - McCain is hospitalized for whip marks on his back. Palin apologizes and says she just got a little carried away. McCain says he enjoyed it the first 30 minutes.
* January 12, 2011 - Bill Clinton releases his latest book, "Is It 2012 Yet"?
* January 15, 2011 - McCain mistakenly gives his State Of The Union speech while addressing the United Nations. Afterwards McCain remarked to aides, "you would think more members of Congress would speak English". This may explain his puzzling remark, "what's up with all the flags".
* March 15, 2011 - McCain announces a 26 trillion dollar earmark that will build a 2500 mile bridge connecting Seattle, Washington and Anchorage, Alaska. The bridge is named "The Mother Of All Bridges To Nowhere".
* July 20, 2011 - The 1st amendment is repealed. Palin says, "I wasn't going to talk to the press anyway". Church attendance is now mandatory. People are required to submit 52 separate church bulletins with their tax returns.
* October 1, 2011 - Dick Cheney accidentally shoots George W. Bush while Bush is standing in his drive way. Cheney apologizes. He said, "it was dark and I pulled into the drive way and the headlights hit George, and well you know..........".
* October 31, 2011 - Halloween is officially banned in the United States. Children are encouraged to attend church "moose festivals" as an alternative.
* December 1, 2011 - Bill Clinton releases his new book, "It's Almost Here And I Can't Wait". In a news conference Clinton reveals that he has been able to relate to Annie the last few years. Hs revealed he sings all the time "2012 2012 you're only a month away".
* January 10, 2012 - Scandal in the White House. McCain reveals he and Palin have been having an affair his whole term. When asked why he came public now McCain said, "I just had enough". He went on to say he was tired of having to live at 1 Observatory Circle and also stated, "why did I have to wear that damn moose outfit every time, she could have been the French maid occasionally".
* January 11, 2012 - Bill Clinton comes out in support of Palin and offers to wear the moose outfit as a show of bipartisanship.
* March 15, 2012- The 5th amendment is repealed. McCain says, "why shouldn't a person be tried twice. We're Americans and we shouldn't give up so easily".
* April 20, 2012 - Mickey Mouse is officially banned in the United States. Christian right accused Mickey of being gay and the administration agreed. In a related move Donald Duck is also banned. Palin says, "you couldn't understand him anyway".
* October 15, 2012 - Dick Cheney shoots a deer. Cheney said, "I was in the deer stand and spotted him. I called out, is that you George? When I got no response I fired".
* November 2012 -Hillary Clinton is elected President of the United States. In her acceptance speech she says, "I would like to thank everyone who voted for me, however it was my right".
* November 10, 2012 - Obama annouces he will run for President in 2016. In a show of support he offers to loan America 14 trillion dollars from his campaign fund to help with the national debt.
* November 4, 2008 - McCain/Palin wins. The European community is astonished. The Prime Minister of England says, "in retrospect I'm glad all those damn Puritans left".
* November 5, 2008 7:15 A.M. - Hillary Clinton announces her plans to run for President in 2012.
* November 5, 2008 7:16 A.M. - Obama announces his plan to run for President in 2012. He also announces that from 6 A.M. to 7:16 A.M. his campaign has raised 12 million dollars.
* November 7, 2008 - The first of 987 Democratic primary debates will be held.
* February 12, 2009 - While hunting Dick Cheney accidentally shoots George W. Bush. Cheney was very apologetic. He said "I swear, he looks just like a deer".
* Easter 2009 - Vice President Palin announces that the traditional Easter egg hunt will be replaced with a witch hunt. Little children are encouraged to bring lighter fluid and stones.
* May 15, 2009 - McCain and Palin attend private viewing of the new Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. McCain remarks, "that flying squirrel is so cool".
* March 3, 2010 - Tensions increase between Spain and US after McCain addresses the Prime Minister of Spain as gringo. McCain later said it was taken out of context. McCain extends an olive branch to Mr. Zapatero. He calls and says come on over to the White House on Saturday. We'll watch a little soccer and have some tacos.
* June 6, 2010 - Bill Clinton releases Part 36 of his new serial, "I Can't Wait Until 2012".
* November 12, 2010 - In a remarkable story the White House announces that McCain has been missing for over a month. Palin says last time I saw him he was checking his e-mail. Palin's remarks arouses suspicion.
* December 14, 2010 - McCain has been found. He was being held captive in the White House basement by Palin. Palin says, "I thought he would enjoy it". McCain says the first few days were fun. Palin says she was going to let him out after Christmas.
* December 19, 2010 - McCain is hospitalized for whip marks on his back. Palin apologizes and says she just got a little carried away. McCain says he enjoyed it the first 30 minutes.
* January 12, 2011 - Bill Clinton releases his latest book, "Is It 2012 Yet"?
* January 15, 2011 - McCain mistakenly gives his State Of The Union speech while addressing the United Nations. Afterwards McCain remarked to aides, "you would think more members of Congress would speak English". This may explain his puzzling remark, "what's up with all the flags".
* March 15, 2011 - McCain announces a 26 trillion dollar earmark that will build a 2500 mile bridge connecting Seattle, Washington and Anchorage, Alaska. The bridge is named "The Mother Of All Bridges To Nowhere".
* July 20, 2011 - The 1st amendment is repealed. Palin says, "I wasn't going to talk to the press anyway". Church attendance is now mandatory. People are required to submit 52 separate church bulletins with their tax returns.
* October 1, 2011 - Dick Cheney accidentally shoots George W. Bush while Bush is standing in his drive way. Cheney apologizes. He said, "it was dark and I pulled into the drive way and the headlights hit George, and well you know..........".
* October 31, 2011 - Halloween is officially banned in the United States. Children are encouraged to attend church "moose festivals" as an alternative.
* December 1, 2011 - Bill Clinton releases his new book, "It's Almost Here And I Can't Wait". In a news conference Clinton reveals that he has been able to relate to Annie the last few years. Hs revealed he sings all the time "2012 2012 you're only a month away".
* January 10, 2012 - Scandal in the White House. McCain reveals he and Palin have been having an affair his whole term. When asked why he came public now McCain said, "I just had enough". He went on to say he was tired of having to live at 1 Observatory Circle and also stated, "why did I have to wear that damn moose outfit every time, she could have been the French maid occasionally".
* January 11, 2012 - Bill Clinton comes out in support of Palin and offers to wear the moose outfit as a show of bipartisanship.
* March 15, 2012- The 5th amendment is repealed. McCain says, "why shouldn't a person be tried twice. We're Americans and we shouldn't give up so easily".
* April 20, 2012 - Mickey Mouse is officially banned in the United States. Christian right accused Mickey of being gay and the administration agreed. In a related move Donald Duck is also banned. Palin says, "you couldn't understand him anyway".
* October 15, 2012 - Dick Cheney shoots a deer. Cheney said, "I was in the deer stand and spotted him. I called out, is that you George? When I got no response I fired".
* November 2012 -Hillary Clinton is elected President of the United States. In her acceptance speech she says, "I would like to thank everyone who voted for me, however it was my right".
* November 10, 2012 - Obama annouces he will run for President in 2016. In a show of support he offers to loan America 14 trillion dollars from his campaign fund to help with the national debt.