RNC just leaked Convention rundown ... interesting

[berrybunches]

7:00 pm – Ceremonial burning of the U.S. Constitution
7:15 pm – Spiritual Medium Sylvia Browne performs psychic séance in desperate attempt to raise Ronald Reagan from the grave
7:35 pm – "The Pleasures of Adultery" - with Newt Gingrich & Rudy Giuliani
8:05 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Restroom hosted by Senator Larry Craig
8:35 pm - Transvestite Ann Coulter – "My Life as a Man"
8:55 pm – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – Ohio Rep. Bob Ney
9:05 pm – Guest speaker ex-Florida Congressman Mark Foley " Joys with Young Boys"
9:25 pm – Oliver North – " Iran is Evil, but I sold them weapons anyway"
9:40 pm – Bill O' Reilly – " The costs of sexual harassment and phone sex with employees"
10:00 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Room hosted by Ken Mehlman and Geraldo Rivera
10:25 pm – Check John McCain to see if he's still breathing and if his adult diaper needs changed.
10:35 pm – N.R.A. President hosts an assault riffle target practice on Gays and Mexicans.
10:45 pm - Call emergency squad after a drunken Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend in the face.
11:00 pm – President Bush performs his hilarious comedy routine where he looks for Iraq's fictitious WMD's under guests tables.
11:15 pm – Governor Mike Huckabee does his famous uncanny imitation of Gomer Pyle.
11:20 pm – Group intervention to get Rush Limbaugh back into drug rehab
11: 45 pm – Go up on rooftop and throw rocks down at homeless Vets sleeping in alley.
12:00 am – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
12:20 am – Convicted felon/Fox News analyst G. Gordon Liddy – Lock picking secrets
12: 40 am – Guest speakers Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz – "How to lie your Country into a War"
1:00 am – Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – "Tips on Money Laundering"
1:15 am – Hookers arrive for after party

:D

I have to give credit where its due assuming the person on this forum that I pulled it from wrote it:
http://www.scam.com/showthread.php?t=45362

I think the author is a leftist but its still pretty funny.

[coffeewithchess]

I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee or water when I opened this thread...it would be all over the monitor!

[Arklatex]

See ya at the Rally!

[Kotin]

at least theres a solid after party... :D

[kombayn]

7:00 pm – Ceremonial burning of the U.S. Constitution
7:15 pm – Spiritual Medium Sylvia Browne performs psychic séance in desperate attempt to raise Ronald Reagan from the grave
7:35 pm – "The Pleasures of Adultery" - with Newt Gingrich & Rudy Giuliani
8:05 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Restroom hosted by Senator Larry Craig
8:35 pm - Transvestite Ann Coulter – "My Life as a Man"
8:55 pm – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – Ohio Rep. Bob Ney
9:05 pm – Guest speaker ex-Florida Congressman Mark Foley " Joys with Young Boys"
9:25 pm – Oliver North – " Iran is Evil, but I sold them weapons anyway"
9:40 pm – Bill O' Reilly – " The costs of sexual harassment and phone sex with employees"
10:00 pm – Gay sex party in Men's Room hosted by Ken Mehlman and Geraldo Rivera
10:25 pm – Check John McCain to see if he's still breathing and if his adult diaper needs changed.
10:35 pm – N.R.A. President hosts an assault riffle target practice on Gays and Mexicans.
10:45 pm - Call emergency squad after a drunken Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend in the face.
11:00 pm – President Bush performs his hilarious comedy routine where he looks for Iraq's fictitious WMD's under guests tables.
11:15 pm – Governor Mike Huckabee does his famous uncanny imitation of Gomer Pyle.
11:20 pm – Group intervention to get Rush Limbaugh back into drug rehab
11: 45 pm – Go up on rooftop and throw rocks down at homeless Vets sleeping in alley.
12:00 am – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham
12:20 am – Convicted felon/Fox News analyst G. Gordon Liddy – Lock picking secrets
12: 40 am – Guest speakers Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz – "How to lie your Country into a War"
1:00 am – Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – "Tips on Money Laundering"
1:15 am – Hookers arrive for after party

:D

I have to give credit where its due assuming the person on this forum that I pulled it from wrote it:
http://www.scam.com/showthread.php?t=45362

I think the author is a leftist but its still pretty funny.

The first one made me laugh out loud! Reading the topic and then clicking on it. I thought it was going to be an actual rundown of the GOP convention. But in a sense, your satire is true. :D

[torchbearer]

The first one made me laugh out loud! Reading the topic and then clicking on it. I thought it was going to be an actual rundown of the GOP convention. But in a sense, your satire is true. :D

.. wait, this is satire? :confused:

[berrybunches]

The first one made me laugh out loud! Reading the topic and then clicking on it. I thought it was going to be an actual rundown of the GOP convention. But in a sense, your satire is true. :D

I actually didn't write this, wish I could take credit! Link to where I got it is in the first post

[Join The Paul Side]

at least theres a solid after party... :d


+ 1000

:d

[libertarian4321]

If that was the real Republican convention schedule, I'd go and watch.

Of course, in reality, the Republican convention will be a snore-a-thon, culminating in old man McCain's speech, which is guaranteed to be painful to watch.

[freelance]

8:55 pm – Live satellite feed from Federal Prison – Ohio Rep. Bob Ney

Need to update. Bob Ney just RSVPed that he WILL be attending.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/12/bob-ney-getting-out-of-ja_n_118506.html

[pacelli]

Lmao!

[Dary]

These are awesome. I came up with a few of my own.

"How to avoid federal prosecution" with Scooter Libby
"Influencing a nation" by Ahmed Chalabi
"Cakewalk 101" (or "How to scare the crap out of an entire nation in 16 words or less") – George Tenet
"When in doubt...Out!" - outing CIA agents for fun – Karl Rove
"How to save a buck during hurricane season" – Former FEMA director Michael Brown
"Avoiding war...on a personal level" – John Ashcroft
"Having your way with Congress" with Alberto Gonzales
"What NOT to say if you want to keep your job" – General Shinseki