Ready.gov

[RSLudlum]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2165/2340693166_38cac18359.jpg

Has anybody seen these Homeland Security billboards around their town?

I've seen 3 in my area, we call the Tri-County area here in SC (Charleston, Dorchester, & Berkeley Counties). This is just one of the designs of the Billboards, there's another that I couldn't find a pic to link to.

Is the gov. trying to tell us that there is something major on the horizon, or am I just paranoid and it has more to do with my area being in a Hurricane prone zone. ;)

Here's the website the billboards point drivers to.

http://www.ready.gov

[LibertyEagle]

All the better to keep us scared. We've shown that we're much more pliable that way. ;)

[roshie]

I haven't seen billboards, but I've seen fliers, commercials, and all types of things. Ready.gov has been around for a while

[Matt Collins]

The ready.gov website is hilarious although it's not meant to be :-P

[eOs]

I didn't see a self defense weapon on any of the lists. Must be a parody website.:rolleyes:

[slothman]

Just remember; you are more likely to die on the way to get duct-tape than you are for lack of tape.

[Matt Collins]

The U.S. government has a new website, Ready.gov (http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.ready.gov/). It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations:

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/v/S/expl_vis_dont_run.gif
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/q/S/expl_vis_shout.gif
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/r/S/expl_vis_open_door.gif
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/e/S/bio_vis_substance.gif
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/s/S/expl_vis_flashlight.gif
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/j/S/vis_chem_wash.gif
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/w/S/expl_vis_cover_nose.gif
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run awa quicklyy.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/k/S/vis_chem_area.gif
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.




Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blductandcover.htm (http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blductandcover.htm)

[Matt Collins]

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/l/S/vis_chem_affected.gif
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/x/S/expl_vis_closed_door.gif
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/o/S/expl_vis_table.gif
If your building collapses, self-stimulate while waiting to be rescued.


http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/f/S/vis_rad_time3.gif
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/n/S/nuc_vis_building.gif
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/h/S/vis_high_windows.gif
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/i/S/vis_high_stay.gif
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/m/7/bio_vis_resp.gif
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/t/S/expl_vis_dust.gif
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.


Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ctandcover.htm (http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ctandcover.htm)

[Matt Collins]

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/u/S/expl_vis_drop_roll.gif
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/m/S/vis_car_wire.gif
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/g/S/vis_rad_shield.gif
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/A/food.gif
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.






Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ctandcover.htm (http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...ctandcover.htm)

[brenden.b]

Oh man, Collins, that was great.

[Icymudpuppy]

I hope that soon I will be able to stop laughing. Pray for me.

[roho76]

I didn't know that September was national preparedness month. How fitting.

"Remember the 11th of September"

[osan]

I hope that soon I will be able to stop laughing. Pray for me.

What he said.

[tangent4ronpaul]

UGH! - this is a good way to end up dead. And yes, FEMA is still pushing it. In case of a building collapse, hiding under a desk will guarantee that the desk will either trap or kill you. lie next to furniture, not under it!

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/o/S/expl_vis_table.gif

[tropicangela]

thank you collins. made my day.

[libertybrewcity]

I posted this a while back about a Ready.gov bus stop advertisement I saw in SF.
http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=254114

I didn't know they had billboards!!:eek:

[heavenlyboy34]

ZOMG, I almost died laughing. You're good for something after all, Collins. :)

[james1906]

Go Collins!

[WaltM]

so much wasted space when they could've made READY.GOV dramatic and easy to read.