pauletteNV
07-11-2008, 11:23 AM
I got this anonymous email and thought it worthwhile to post so that you can compare the "official" story on the convention, and what happened. This is not only what happened in Nevada, but such shenanigans have been used elsewhere, too. All looking very prim and proper....NOT.
How to Hijack an Election
By
The Old Pro
I am honored to be asked to speak to the Pahrump high school class of 2008. I will talk about something that you don’t get in your normal civics classes. I will tell you how to hijack an election.
The easiest elections to hijack are the elections that take place in a convention. You may ask why hijack an election, why not just let an election play out normally and let whoever has the most votes win? Of course if your side has a majority then a normal election is the way to go. But suppose your side is in the minority and you are not willing to accept a loss? These are the circumstances that require some real creativity to win. You might even call it cheating. Yes, I don’t know any other way to put it. I am going to teach you how to cheat. After all, if you are the leader and organizer of a convention, it makes sense that you should determine the outcome, no? Of course it does. The fools, er.. I mean delegates, are there just to ratify the decisions already made by the small number of party leaders. After all, the delegates cannot be trusted to use their own judgment in convention elections. They must be given instructions from the top and if they don’t like those instructions… well, they must accept the decisions anyway.
So you see, you must cheat if necessary in order to gain your objectives. But the key here is that you must not be seen to cheat. That requires some real creativity and excellent skill at public relations. This is where I excel. If you are as good at public relations as I am, it is possible to get away with the most deceptive tricks and lies and still be believed. After all, most of those on your side won’t look too closely at the methods since they are not the ones being cheated. As for the opposition, they can complain but the newspapers are accustomed to taking the word of the party officials since that requires less work than actually trying to find out what happened. For the most part, I can handle reporters in such a smooth way that they won’t know what happened. I have found that charm and charisma can cover a multitude of sins. I am an expert at that, you know.
The first thing to remember in hijacking a convention election is to control the gavel. Put a dependable person in charge. Put someone in charge who is willing to break the rules if necessary in order to control the outcome.
The second thing to remember is to stall for time if your side is losing. If your people are losing the elections, call a recess if necessary in order to regroup and plan for another day. It does not matter that the recess is called illegally. Remember that the goal is to win and get your people elected and not to follow silly rules. He who follows the rules will lose if he does not have a majority. The creative part here is to win without having the votes and that can only be done by cheating. Don’t hesitate to cheat. That is what politics is all about. Don’t be a Pollyanna.
If an election is going on and it is not going your way, stop it! Store the ballot boxes in a safe somewhere and say that the election will be continued later, in a week or so. But then don’t keep your promise to resume the convention in a week or so. Let the time lapse be two or three months. By that time, in the fast moving world of politics, it won’t matter who wins that election. Let the opposition win after three months if necessary, because the victory will be worth much less to them after three months.
Lastly and most importantly is to have a fig leaf. That is, to have some plausible explanation that will cover the nakedness of your intention to steal the election. One way to do that is to claim that time has run out and that the election must be postponed to another day. However, that is problematic if the time of voting is in early in the day. But there is a very simple way to handle that. That is to simply stall for time. Run the clock out as in a sporting event. Show silly visual effects and schedule empty speeches to keep everyone occupied until time run outs. The delegates came for a circus, so give them a circus. Above all, don’t tell the delegates that the election will be postponed until the very last minute. It is highly important to keep them in the dark until the very last minute, so they cannot plan a preemptive strike. Then at the proper time, you tell your hand picked chairman to recess the convention without a vote and contrary to the rules.
There is one last thing to remember. It is important that the party leadership leave immediately after the gavel falls to recess the convention, otherwise you may be lynched. It has been many years since a lynching in Nevada but it could happen since what you are doing is such blatant cheating. You can also use the uproar that is created by the dishonest tactics to demonstrate the bad manners of the opposition. Remember that Hitler said that the most effective lie is a big one. In this case you provoke the opposition into an uproar and then use their angry response as an example to show that they are a group of barbarians. This is quite clever, don’t you think? It works. I have used it several times in my political career. Remember that neutral observers will be inclined to accept the word of party officials rather than anyone else. If some in the opposition get upset because they are being cheated, you can always have them arrested if necessary. After all, who will the police believe the rabble or those who are paying their salary? It’s a slam dunk. You can get away with lots of cheating if you are already in a position of authority.
So in summary, the way to hijack an election is to cheat but not to be seen to be cheating. It is especially important to present a cool and sincere front to the news media. Coolness under fire adds to the impression that you are right. You must say that you are only trying to insure maximum participation and to allow all segments of the party to participate. At least that is the image that you must present to the world. If you do this, the world will not notice that you have hijacked the convention and its election.
Thank you, graduates of 2008. I hope to hear from you in the future, when you have successfully cheated your way to the top. God Bless America and the State of Nevada.
How to Hijack an Election
By
The Old Pro
I am honored to be asked to speak to the Pahrump high school class of 2008. I will talk about something that you don’t get in your normal civics classes. I will tell you how to hijack an election.
The easiest elections to hijack are the elections that take place in a convention. You may ask why hijack an election, why not just let an election play out normally and let whoever has the most votes win? Of course if your side has a majority then a normal election is the way to go. But suppose your side is in the minority and you are not willing to accept a loss? These are the circumstances that require some real creativity to win. You might even call it cheating. Yes, I don’t know any other way to put it. I am going to teach you how to cheat. After all, if you are the leader and organizer of a convention, it makes sense that you should determine the outcome, no? Of course it does. The fools, er.. I mean delegates, are there just to ratify the decisions already made by the small number of party leaders. After all, the delegates cannot be trusted to use their own judgment in convention elections. They must be given instructions from the top and if they don’t like those instructions… well, they must accept the decisions anyway.
So you see, you must cheat if necessary in order to gain your objectives. But the key here is that you must not be seen to cheat. That requires some real creativity and excellent skill at public relations. This is where I excel. If you are as good at public relations as I am, it is possible to get away with the most deceptive tricks and lies and still be believed. After all, most of those on your side won’t look too closely at the methods since they are not the ones being cheated. As for the opposition, they can complain but the newspapers are accustomed to taking the word of the party officials since that requires less work than actually trying to find out what happened. For the most part, I can handle reporters in such a smooth way that they won’t know what happened. I have found that charm and charisma can cover a multitude of sins. I am an expert at that, you know.
The first thing to remember in hijacking a convention election is to control the gavel. Put a dependable person in charge. Put someone in charge who is willing to break the rules if necessary in order to control the outcome.
The second thing to remember is to stall for time if your side is losing. If your people are losing the elections, call a recess if necessary in order to regroup and plan for another day. It does not matter that the recess is called illegally. Remember that the goal is to win and get your people elected and not to follow silly rules. He who follows the rules will lose if he does not have a majority. The creative part here is to win without having the votes and that can only be done by cheating. Don’t hesitate to cheat. That is what politics is all about. Don’t be a Pollyanna.
If an election is going on and it is not going your way, stop it! Store the ballot boxes in a safe somewhere and say that the election will be continued later, in a week or so. But then don’t keep your promise to resume the convention in a week or so. Let the time lapse be two or three months. By that time, in the fast moving world of politics, it won’t matter who wins that election. Let the opposition win after three months if necessary, because the victory will be worth much less to them after three months.
Lastly and most importantly is to have a fig leaf. That is, to have some plausible explanation that will cover the nakedness of your intention to steal the election. One way to do that is to claim that time has run out and that the election must be postponed to another day. However, that is problematic if the time of voting is in early in the day. But there is a very simple way to handle that. That is to simply stall for time. Run the clock out as in a sporting event. Show silly visual effects and schedule empty speeches to keep everyone occupied until time run outs. The delegates came for a circus, so give them a circus. Above all, don’t tell the delegates that the election will be postponed until the very last minute. It is highly important to keep them in the dark until the very last minute, so they cannot plan a preemptive strike. Then at the proper time, you tell your hand picked chairman to recess the convention without a vote and contrary to the rules.
There is one last thing to remember. It is important that the party leadership leave immediately after the gavel falls to recess the convention, otherwise you may be lynched. It has been many years since a lynching in Nevada but it could happen since what you are doing is such blatant cheating. You can also use the uproar that is created by the dishonest tactics to demonstrate the bad manners of the opposition. Remember that Hitler said that the most effective lie is a big one. In this case you provoke the opposition into an uproar and then use their angry response as an example to show that they are a group of barbarians. This is quite clever, don’t you think? It works. I have used it several times in my political career. Remember that neutral observers will be inclined to accept the word of party officials rather than anyone else. If some in the opposition get upset because they are being cheated, you can always have them arrested if necessary. After all, who will the police believe the rabble or those who are paying their salary? It’s a slam dunk. You can get away with lots of cheating if you are already in a position of authority.
So in summary, the way to hijack an election is to cheat but not to be seen to be cheating. It is especially important to present a cool and sincere front to the news media. Coolness under fire adds to the impression that you are right. You must say that you are only trying to insure maximum participation and to allow all segments of the party to participate. At least that is the image that you must present to the world. If you do this, the world will not notice that you have hijacked the convention and its election.
Thank you, graduates of 2008. I hope to hear from you in the future, when you have successfully cheated your way to the top. God Bless America and the State of Nevada.