Kind of on topic...

[LibertiORDeth]

Well, I (16 since March) have a choice: Stay at home, and fail college, or move out, and finish.
I am taking online classes over the summer, and I bought a PC for it. My parents don't want me to have my own PC, since they thrive on control, and they told me I live here, or have my computer. No computer and I can't finish my classes and thus fail, I fail and I lose my financial aid, I lose my financial aid and I drop out.
Or I declare emancipation, and move out making 8$ an hour. Tough decisions...

[Kludge]

Do my homework and you can live in Michigan with me ;)

Try different methods of persuasion if you can... That's really a lose-lose situation.

[Nirvikalpa]

Sounds like my boyfriend's parents...

How old are you Luke?

Do you mow the grass? Do work around the house?

[LibertiORDeth]

Do my homework and you can live in Michigan with me ;)

Try different methods of persuasion if you can... That's really a lose-lose situation.

I actually have an offer from someone in Michigan to live in his two bedroom guest house, use his utilities and internet for 400$. And he might have apart time job for 10$ an hour.

[LibertiORDeth]

Sounds like my boyfriend's parents...

How old are you Luke?

Do you mow the grass? Do work around the house?

Refer to my post, 16. Somewhat, I don't have time for a lot with my job and school.

[yongrel]

I have a sneaking suspicion that your parents aren't being as unreasonable as you say. 16 year olds have a slight tendency to be melodramatic when describing how their parents oppress them.

I would know. I was 16 once, and was very gifted at this.

[LibertiORDeth]

I have a sneaking suspicion that your parents aren't being as unreasonable as you say. 16 year olds have a slight tendency to be melodramatic when describing how their parents oppress them.

I would know. I was 16 once, and was very gifted at this.

I completely understand what you are saying. However, what I said was completely true, and this is a drop in the bucket. Every friend I have had has agreed that they are the most unreasonable people ever.

[tribute_13]

My parents were unreasonable to the point I am no longer legally able to stay with any of my immediate family members lol. No lie

Saying that you are 16 and receiving financial aid, is it safe to say you are in college? Emancipation is a lot harder than it sounds too. Both of my parents are crackheads and I'm in state custody now and I STILL can't get emancipated despite me having my own place at my in-laws house.

[Johnnybags]

Well, I (16 since March) have a choice: Stay at home, and fail college, or move out, and finish.
I am taking online classes over the summer, and I bought a PC for it. My parents don't want me to have my own PC, since they thrive on control, and they told me I live here, or have my computer. No computer and I can't finish my classes and thus fail, I fail and I lose my financial aid, I lose my financial aid and I drop out.
Or I declare emancipation, and move out making 8$ an hour. Tough decisions...

Obviously, they do not want you to have a pc because you abuse it or have a tendency to make it your master and forget priorities. That said, leave the house an venture on your own. You'll quickly see the error of your decisions. However, your parents cannot reason with you so there is no alternative except for you to learn thru experience, the hard way. Yes, that stove is hot to touch, thats why parents tell their kids "hot" when they are 2. But, obviously you burned your fingers. Trust me, your parents get no joy swimming up the river arguing with you. They are simply dissappointed that despite their best efforts you continue to try and force a square peg in a round hole. And you will continue to do this until you yourself realize its insane for the definition of isanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sorry for the reality check but I have seen this story before.

[Roxi]

parents also have a tendency to be melodramatic, not just 16 year olds. I was pretty gifted at being dramatic AND a smart ass at 16, BUT i also have had 13 years since then to reflect on the behavioral tendencies of my parents, and although i respect them, and believe they are good parents, I am still fully aware at just how unreasonable/ignorant they really were.

Luke im shooting the moon here but i assume your parents don't approve of your extensive involvement in the Ron Paul Campaign and now that he "didn't win" they ESPECIALLY think its a waste of time. And included in that they assume that you are spending "too much time goofing off" on the computer?

Look my parents can be described similarly, luckily for me im nearly 30 and they can't tell me what do to anymore or my mom would probably take away my computer. For Instance, i do a lot of work/making money on the computer (I.E. Ebay, Biblio) but this is a recent conversation between her and my daughter...

My Mom: "is your mom spending a lot of time on the computer?
My Daughter: "well, she works on the computer"
My Mom: "No she doesn't, working on the computer doesn't amount to shit"

yes my mother had this conversation with my 6 year old.

you don't have to explain to me how unreasonable parents can be, and remain to be for the rest of your life.


That being said

Emancipation is HARD, really really HARD.

and it will cost you.
not only that but being completely on your own is REALLY HARD.... and no matter how hard you think you know its going to be... it WILL be 10 times harder, i promise.
I moved out at 17 against my parents will (in missouri 17 is legal age for a female)
the first time i ever asked to move back in was 6 months ago when i returned from NH after OLFD, so it took 11 years, and complete desperation for me to move back in... and it only lasted a few weeks (its a good thing too, because i found out they had gotten much worse over the years, my boyfriend liked them before we stayed there)

I can't tell you what to do Luke, but my advice is talk to them first, write them a letter if you don't think they will listen. explain that you understand how they feel, but that you, despite your age, are fully capable of making a decision like having your own computer, that you, at a much younger age than your peers, are attending college, AND have a job. Let them know you respect them, and their opinions, but that you will fail for certain if you DO NOT have your own PC, and even though they believe you will fail anyway, you feel strongly that given the opportunity, you can make it through college at your age.

I think from your parents perspective, they are thinking... they, at your age, had the same "bulls on parade" attitude about what you can accomplish for yourself, and because they didn't accomplish all the things they wanted to, or were foolish for believing they could, they think the same way about you.

they think you should finish school the traditional way, not try to jump ahead, right?

how long have you been taking the online classes? can you show them some accomplishment?

does liberty island have anything to do with their opposition to your unrestricted PC use? are they concerned that your spending too much time on a "crazy idea, that will never happen"?
did they tell you in the beginning that campaigning for paul was a waste of time? did they have the George Stephanopolis attitude?

look at things from their perspective and then outsmart them, its the only way you will be able to come out of this sanely.

[pacelli]

Drop the classes before you fail, get yourself a job (any farms nearby where you can learn how to be self-sufficient?) for the summer, save up your cash, and see if they change their tune. If this is for college, you can always postpone the classes until the Fall semester, right? Don't take online classes until they grow up or until you are able to move out.

[acptulsa]

Ever consider loaning the equipment to a friend in exchange for a safe haven from which to use it?

[LibertiORDeth]

Obviously, they do not want you to have a pc because you abuse it or have a tendency to make it your master and forget priorities. That said, leave the house an venture on your own. You'll quickly see the error of your decisions. However, your parents cannot reason with you so there is no alternative except for you to learn thru experience, the hard way. Yes, that stove is hot to touch, thats why parents tell their kids "hot" when they are 2. But, obviously you burned your fingers. Trust me, your parents get no joy swimming up the river arguing with you. They are simply dissappointed that despite their best efforts you continue to try and force a square peg in a round hole. And you will continue to do this until you yourself realize its insane for the definition of isanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sorry for the reality check but I have seen this story before.

I have no tendancy to abuse what I do on here, nor does it control me. I have managed to keep up with my schoolwork and job still.

[LibertiORDeth]

My parents were unreasonable to the point I am no longer legally able to stay with any of my immediate family members lol. No lie

Saying that you are 16 and receiving financial aid, is it safe to say you are in college? Emancipation is a lot harder than it sounds too. Both of my parents are crackheads and I'm in state custody now and I STILL can't get emancipated despite me having my own place at my in-laws house.

Your married yet not a legal adult? :p Yes it is safe to say, yes it is a lot harder then it sounds.

[tribute_13]

Your married yet not a legal adult? :p Yes it is safe to say, yes it is a lot harder then it sounds.

No, that's not what I meant. My brothers wife's family, that came out wrong sorry.

But regardless, Emancipation is an extremely hard process. You have to prove the following. You present a plan at a hearing about how you will support yourself, provide yourself a house, provide yourself transportation, provide yourself medical treatment, and so forth. In NC even if you plan on staying with another family willing to let you stay there you would still have to prove that you can support yourself without anyone else helping you which is extremely hard to prove to a judge. I agree with pacelli, loan the computer to a friend and use it over there if you need to. What courses are you taking online?

[LibertiORDeth]

No, that's not what I meant. My brothers wife's family, that came out wrong sorry.

But regardless, Emancipation is an extremely hard process. You have to prove the following. You present a plan at a hearing about how you will support yourself, provide yourself a house, provide yourself transportation, provide yourself medical treatment, and so forth. In NC even if you plan on staying with another family willing to let you stay there you would still have to prove that you can support yourself without anyone else helping you which is extremely hard to prove to a judge. I agree with pacelli, loan the computer to a friend and use it over there if you need to. What courses are you taking online?

I have no friends, My parents made me live a very sheltered life. I am taking English 102, Psychology 101, and Introduction to Microsoft Excel.

[ARealConservative]

your local library has a computer, you can finish classes there.

You don't happen to play WoW or anything do you. ;)

[LibertiORDeth]

your local library has a computer, you can finish classes there.

You don't happen to play WoW or anything do you. ;)

No I can't, and no I don't, just CoD4 :p. They log you off after 30 minutes, which doesn't give me enough time to do it, and the computers run slow. And I can't drive, so how am I supposed to get there every day? :p

[LibertiORDeth]

Also came up with a budget:
Alright, at 8$ an hour, 40 hours a week, I would be earning a gross of about $1280, and a net at roughly 1100$.
Rent: 400$
Fiber Optics Internet: 40$
Voice over Internet Protocol: 20$ unlimited long distance
Utilities: 50$ (Electricity here is 1/3 what it is in the next county, second lowest in the country, garbage I can easily take to a dumpster somewhere free)
Food: 200$ (That's not eating THAT cheaply, our family of four lives on less 400$ a month)
Cell Phone not necessary to start, I have no interest in TV.
I cannot drive, and will use the bus/walk, so
Monthly bus pass: 12$
I come up to 722$, leaving me with excess of 300-400$ a month, to cover any discrepancies in my budget and to save.

[klamath]

Stick it out for another two years. I know parents can be a overbearing but think about it real carefully. Are they just being controling for the their own pure malicious pleasure are are they doing what they think is right for you?
I am a parent of grown children and know that kids most of the time need to make their own mistakes in order to learn. If you move out and things don't go well and you are forced to move back in the controling situation will be far worse. If you do not even drive you are going to have one He** of a time making it on your own.

[LibertiORDeth]

Stick it out for another two years. I know parents can be a overbearing but think about it real carefully. Are they just being controling for the their own pure malicious pleasure are are they doing what they think is right for you?
I am a parent of grown children and know that kids most of the time need to make their own mistakes in order to learn. If you move out and things don't go well and you are forced to move back in the controling situation will be far worse. If you do not even drive you are going to have one He** of a time making it on your own.

I have heard this time and time again, but that is not the case. I think I have made it clear that if I stay here I will, among other things, fail school. I need to make the best go of this I can, and need advice on what I can do to improve my chances of the petition being accepted.

[amy31416]

Luke, I don't understand. Okay, you say your parents won't let you have keep your computer and that's why you'd fail school? All of your college courses are online, correct? This is confusing.

Okay, wait--you're 16, right? Have you graduated from high school? Just trying to clarify.

[lucius]

Stick it out for another two years. I know parents can be a overbearing but think about it real carefully. Are they just being controling for the their own pure malicious pleasure are are they doing what they think is right for you?
I am a parent of grown children and know that kids most of the time need to make their own mistakes in order to learn. If you move out and things don't go well and you are forced to move back in the controling situation will be far worse. If you do not even drive you are going to have one He** of a time making it on your own.

+1

Two years will be over in the blink of your eye.

[LibertiORDeth]

Luke, I don't understand. Okay, you say your parents won't let you have keep your computer and that's why you'd fail school? All of your college courses are online, correct? This is confusing.

Okay, wait--you're 16, right? Have you graduated from high school? Just trying to clarify.

Right, I got a GED instead of a diploma.

[amy31416]

Right, I got a GED instead of a diploma.

Why?

[LibertiORDeth]

Why?

I was homeschooled, and my parents didn't want to keep records or anything, so it was my only option.

[tmosley]

Yeah, in that case, I would agree that they are a couple of nutcases, and you will be better off moving out ASAP. Should you declare emancipation, you should be able to apply for and receive financial aid, which should pay for a cheap apartment and your school/living expenses.

[ARealConservative]

They log you off after 30 minutes, which doesn't give me enough time to do it, and the computers run slow. And I can't drive, so how am I supposed to get there every day? :p

The time alloted with vary from facility to facilty, but if you explain that you are using the computer for an online classes to further yourself, your odds of getting additional time is outstanding.

Or you could use internet cafes. You just have to buy overpriced latte's.

[LibertiORDeth]

Yeah, in that case, I would agree that they are a couple of nutcases, and you will be better off moving out ASAP. Should you declare emancipation, you should be able to apply for and receive financial aid, which should pay for a cheap apartment and your school/living expenses.

RIght, but getting emancipated is a serious hurdle, as I have been told that less then 1% of all the petitions are approved.

By the way, the only cyber cafe here costs by the hour to use the PCs, as they are meant for gaming, and it really isn't a "cafe".

[Mckarnin]

Haven't read the whole thread yet but I would be really careful about leaving home on your own to move into some guy's guest house...you could be putting yourself in a very vulnerable position in which you could be abused. Where do you know this guy from?

Also, can your parents and you negotiate a contract that outlines your home obligations (family dinner attendance 4x a week, church, no drug use, laundry, chores, clean your room) and their obligations to you (maintain internet connection, allow "Luke" 5 hours internet a day for online classes and 3 hours for personal pursuits, etc.)? If you are willing to give something they might be willing to as well.





I actually have an offer from someone in Michigan to live in his two bedroom guest house, use his utilities and internet for 400$. And he might have apart time job for 10$ an hour.

[Kade]

I was out by 17, living off my computer business and bartending to pay for college.

I always suggest just taking the leap...

[LibertiORDeth]

Did you just move out or were you emancipated?

[Kade]

Did you just move out or were you emancipated?

I was raised by my mother alone... she met someone, and was finally doing well on her own, so I left on my own. I was sort of the "man of the house" most of my life.

My sister did the same thing, moved out when she was 17, a year later. She is doing well now too.

[Mckarnin]

Ok, I am the oldest of 6 kids and come from a very messed up family situation. Even before my parents divorced my dad was avoiding my mom and hardly ever present and my mom was the only person we had. My mother is/was an uber religious, conspiracy theory loving, abusive in every way imaginable mother who had her M.A. in Social Work and "homeschooled" us when in reality she laid around in bed all day and I took care of everything. We didn't have friends, except for a few kids we knew at school, we had to wear matching uniforms, had no unmonitored internet access and weren't allowed to make unauthorized phone calls. When I was 12 I stayed behind from a family RV vacation in a small Mexican fishing village and lived there for 3 years going to the village school and working for room and board at the restaurant on the first floor of the house where I lived with a fragmented Mexican "family". When I came home I was 15...lived with my mom for 2 years and then skipped my senior year of high school (I was still homeschooled) to start college and managed to convince them to accept me with no SAT's. I now have my B.A. My husband and I were the court ordered legal guardians for/homeschooled my youngest sibling from age 12-18 and she is now in 4-year college. I also have 2 kids of my own and am homeschooling them. Of course we let my sister use the internet and computer, have friends and participate in activities outside the home.


I guess the point is that no matter how crazy your situation is there are ways that you can succeed and overcome whatever adversity you are encountering. You need to sit down and make yourself a multi-year plan that takes slightly more long-term goals into account. You need to analyze your behavior and that of your parents to assess whether there is really 0 room for negotiation or if you have them dug into a defensive position that you may be able to pull them out of with communication, negotiation and responsibility. Sorry if I missed it but is your work outside the home and if so, how many hours a week? Also, do you and your parent's talk often, ignore eachother, only "communicate" when you are fighting? These are more personal so I don't expect an answer on the forum but are your parent's strongly religious? Do you look at porn on your computer? Would you be willing to let your parents install some sort of nanny program on the system while you are under their roof?

I remember quite clearly what it was like to be 16 and understand that any compromises that might make peace with your parents will likely not be fun or enjoyable. The only compromises you CANNOT make are those that endanger your safety and/or your future.




I have heard this time and time again, but that is not the case. I think I have made it clear that if I stay here I will, among other things, fail school. I need to make the best go of this I can, and need advice on what I can do to improve my chances of the petition being accepted.

[LibertiORDeth]

Ok, I am the oldest of 6 kids and come from a very messed up family situation. Even before my parents divorced my dad was avoiding my mom and hardly ever present and my mom was the only person we had. My mother is/was an uber religious, conspiracy theory loving, abusive in every way imaginable mother who had her M.A. in Social Work and "homeschooled" us when in reality she laid around in bed all day and I took care of everything. We didn't have friends, except for a few kids we knew at school, we had to wear matching uniforms, had no unmonitored internet access and weren't allowed to make unauthorized phone calls. When I was 12 I stayed behind from a family RV vacation in a small Mexican fishing village and lived there for 3 years going to the village school and working for room and board at the restaurant on the first floor of the house where I lived with a fragmented Mexican "family". When I came home I was 15...lived with my mom for 2 years and then skipped my senior year of high school (I was still homeschooled) to start college and managed to convince them to accept me with no SAT's. I now have my B.A. My husband and I were the court ordered legal guardians for/homeschooled my youngest sibling from age 12-18 and she is now in 4-year college. I also have 2 kids of my own and am homeschooling them. Of course we let my sister use the internet and computer, have friends and participate in activities outside the home.


I guess the point is that no matter how crazy your situation is there are ways that you can succeed and overcome whatever adversity you are encountering. You need to sit down and make yourself a multi-year plan that takes slightly more long-term goals into account. You need to analyze your behavior and that of your parents to assess whether there is really 0 room for negotiation or if you have them dug into a defensive position that you may be able to pull them out of with communication, negotiation and responsibility. Sorry if I missed it but is your work outside the home and if so, how many hours a week? Also, do you and your parent's talk often, ignore eachother, only "communicate" when you are fighting? These are more personal so I don't expect an answer on the forum but are your parent's strongly religious? Do you look at porn on your computer? Would you be willing to let your parents install some sort of nanny program on the system while you are under their roof?

I remember quite clearly what it was like to be 16 and understand that any compromises that might make peace with your parents will likely not be fun or enjoyable. The only compromises you CANNOT make are those that endanger your safety and/or your future.


I work 25-40 hours per week at the grocery store. We talk less and less now, to the pint where we hardly talk at all, since when we do my dad ends up blowing up or my mom just insults/rants at me. They are Christians, although are about the most unChristian people I have known. I don't really anymore. No I would not, as I still do things they would not, such as play "Satanic" games (I.E. anything involving fantasy creatures or aliens). Nothing really for me is to personal. I have compromised as much as possible, anything further is out of the question. Why can't we all have parents like you and Roxic :p

[dannno]

Obviously, they do not want you to have a pc because you abuse it or have a tendency to make it your master and forget priorities.

uhhh, he's 16 and he's in college. That's what he's using the computer for. Most parents would cream their pants.

[Mckarnin]

I know you are sooo jealous..lol! Ok, if you are not willing to compromise any further and have thus determined that you must move out...you have to plan methodically and keep your safety in mind.

Here are a few questions to start. You can mull over them or answer them publicly (depends on how much unsolicited advice you want):

Do you have any "good" family who you could live with?

Do you have health insurance? Are you currently under treatment for any medical condition? Is your insurance on your parent's policy?

Do you currently or have you recently suffered from an eating disorder, depression, drug use, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts or a psychological condition requiring medication or counseling (having a network will be more important in this case and you need someone who cares about you to keep an eye out)?

Do you have any personal savings/ your own bank account? You will need both before you leave unless you want to be destitute.

Does your cyber college have a brick and mortar location? Do you belong to any communities (church, clubs, work, college) in which you may be able to find a safe roomate? As you are 16 it is highly unlikely that you will be able to lease an apartment.

Is there any possibility that you could transfer to a brick and mortar college and get scholarships/live in a dorm?

Do you drive? Do you have a car? Do you have a license? Who pays for the car insurance?

Do you have a high level of self-control? Do your mom/dad have to wake you up for work a lot of mornings? Do they still have to nag you to go to bed? Do you eat well without someone cooking for you? Do you wash/dry.fold your own clothes? Do you buy your own toiletries and clothing already? Have you ever kept a budget or balanced a checkbook?

Ok, that's it off the top of my head...





I work 25-40 hours per week at the grocery store. We talk less and less now, to the pint where we hardly talk at all, since when we do my dad ends up blowing up or my mom just insults/rants at me. They are Christians, although are about the most unChristian people I have known. I don't really anymore. No I would not, as I still do things they would not, such as play "Satanic" games (I.E. anything involving fantasy creatures or aliens). Nothing really for me is to personal. I have compromised as much as possible, anything further is out of the question. Why can't we all have parents like you and Roxic :p

[LibertiORDeth]

I know you are sooo jealous..lol! Ok, if you are not willing to compromise any further and have thus determined that you must move out...you have to plan methodically and keep your safety in mind.

Here are a few questions to start. You can mull over them or answer them publicly (depends on how much unsolicited advice you want):

Do you have any "good" family who you could live with?

Do you have health insurance? Are you currently under treatment for any medical condition? Is your insurance on your parent's policy?

Do you currently or have you recently suffered from an eating disorder, depression, drug use, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts or a psychological condition requiring medication or counseling (having a network will be more important in this case and you need someone who cares about you to keep an eye out)?

Do you have any personal savings/ your own bank account? You will need both before you leave unless you want to be destitute.

Does your cyber college have a brick and mortar location? Do you belong to any communities (church, clubs, work, college) in which you may be able to find a safe roomate? As you are 16 it is highly unlikely that you will be able to lease an apartment.

Is there any possibility that you could transfer to a brick and mortar college and get scholarships/live in a dorm?

Do you drive? Do you have a car? Do you have a license? Who pays for the car insurance?

Do you have a high level of self-control? Do your mom/dad have to wake you up for work a lot of mornings? Do they still have to nag you to go to bed? Do you eat well without someone cooking for you? Do you wash/dry.fold your own clothes? Do you buy your own toiletries and clothing already? Have you ever kept a budget or balanced a checkbook?

Ok, that's it off the top of my head...

No.
No, No, No. Currently under a government coupon thing.
No, No, No, No, No.
Some, 232$ atm, in a month it will be at least 1k$.
Yes, 2/3 classes are through the local community college, other is a state online class. Not really, I MIGHT be able to find someone at work to room with.
As I said, I currently receive more then enough financial aid to cover school, and it might be better if I live here in town, as the college is 20 miles away, and I can't drive, so it would be hard to get to work.
No, No, No, N/A.
Yes, No, they do but it is completely unnecessary, and detrimental sometimes, like last night when they came close to beating me or hitting my PC with a sledge hammer because they didn't believe me when I said that I had school I needed to do right then for about 20 minutes (This was at 10 PM or so) Yes, nobody cooks for me anyways :p. Yes. Yes. No, although I am going to start doing it on Excel to please the judge when I go for emancipation.

[JosephTheLibertarian]

Well, I (16 since March) have a choice: Stay at home, and fail college, or move out, and finish.
I am taking online classes over the summer, and I bought a PC for it. My parents don't want me to have my own PC, since they thrive on control, and they told me I live here, or have my computer. No computer and I can't finish my classes and thus fail, I fail and I lose my financial aid, I lose my financial aid and I drop out.
Or I declare emancipation, and move out making 8$ an hour. Tough decisions...

Luke, didn't I tell you to come to NJ and move in with me? damn, man. I will take custody of you.

[LibertiORDeth]

Luke, didn't I tell you to come to NJ and move in with me? damn, man. I will take custody of you.

We could discuss it if you would get in the chat :p