Oyate
07-05-2008, 12:59 AM
Why don't we have a dating thread?
OK, here's mine.
I have bad teeth, horrible skin, greasy hair and my personal hygiene is sub-primal. The sound of my voice is like gravel getting crushed. And I'm not trailer-trash, no way, a long way off it. I'm camper trash. I live in a 21 year old camper and man we ASPIRE to be trailer trash. Hells man, them big trailers are nice. And I'm lazy and indolent and I don't even have enough education to know what indolent means. I got two terminal diseases and I don't take no help from nobody so I'm pretty much just sitting here dying. My feet smell, my dog smells, this whole place smells. My friend Bill? He smells too. About all I got left is a pile of tools and a firearm and since I loaned my hammer out (and it didn't come back) I been using the .40 cal as a hammer. Forgot to discharge it last time so now I got a hole in my hand. I think the shot went right through my eye, but I got two of 'em and I practically never use 'em anyways.
But I am seeking a wealthy young lady, a burning hottie with perfect teeth and a knockout body and perfect skin and I'd prefer to see you in a glossy magazine before I make my decision. I'm pretty picky like that.
All I'm saying is if you want to be with a man, a real man, a real good man then I ain't your cup of tea. Look elsewhere. But if you want to be with a real scumbag, woman, I'm here. If you had visions of wading hip-deep through beer cans to get to the bathroom, lady, what are you waiting for? I'm here. I'll make your life a perfect hell. And ya don't even need to thank me. It's just what I do. Natural talent is what I got and you can have some!
Applicants, please form an orderly line to the left and somebody will be with you shortly.
OK, here's mine.
I have bad teeth, horrible skin, greasy hair and my personal hygiene is sub-primal. The sound of my voice is like gravel getting crushed. And I'm not trailer-trash, no way, a long way off it. I'm camper trash. I live in a 21 year old camper and man we ASPIRE to be trailer trash. Hells man, them big trailers are nice. And I'm lazy and indolent and I don't even have enough education to know what indolent means. I got two terminal diseases and I don't take no help from nobody so I'm pretty much just sitting here dying. My feet smell, my dog smells, this whole place smells. My friend Bill? He smells too. About all I got left is a pile of tools and a firearm and since I loaned my hammer out (and it didn't come back) I been using the .40 cal as a hammer. Forgot to discharge it last time so now I got a hole in my hand. I think the shot went right through my eye, but I got two of 'em and I practically never use 'em anyways.
But I am seeking a wealthy young lady, a burning hottie with perfect teeth and a knockout body and perfect skin and I'd prefer to see you in a glossy magazine before I make my decision. I'm pretty picky like that.
All I'm saying is if you want to be with a man, a real man, a real good man then I ain't your cup of tea. Look elsewhere. But if you want to be with a real scumbag, woman, I'm here. If you had visions of wading hip-deep through beer cans to get to the bathroom, lady, what are you waiting for? I'm here. I'll make your life a perfect hell. And ya don't even need to thank me. It's just what I do. Natural talent is what I got and you can have some!
Applicants, please form an orderly line to the left and somebody will be with you shortly.