Secret FEMA Plan To Use Pastors as Pacifiers in Preparation For Martial Law

[hillbilly123069]

http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/may2006/240506femaplan.htm

[Cinderella]

interesting....i dont go to church though

[PatriotOne]

"it's for your own good"

Isn't that what they told the holocaust victims?

[christagious]

My pastor already said that she won't be quelling dissent.

Ideologically, she's on board with us.

[PatriotOne]

My pastor already said that she won't be quelling dissent.

Ideologically, she's on board with us.

Did your pastor attend one of these FEMA meetings?

[IPSecure]

My pastor came from West Point...:eek:

[Bruno]

"it's for your own good"

Isn't that what they told the holocaust victims?

Yes.

"Now get in the train car. We're taking you to a better place."

[asgardshill]

How is it that prisonplanet has all this insider access to FEMA's "secret plans"? Damn that prisonplanet - now they've just made FEMA discard this particular nefarious plan and come up with another one.

[amy31416]

Neat. I want to become a pastor now. Anyone want to join Amy's Church O' Agnosticism and/or Atheism?

I assure you, it'll be way more fun than the church you go to now. The ACAA wants YOU!

[flames2dust77]

Neat. I want to become a pastor now. Anyone want to join Amy's Church O' Agnosticism and/or Atheism?

I assure you, it'll be way more fun than the church you go to now. The ACAA wants YOU!

where do i sign up? :p

[amy31416]

where do i sign up? :p

Umm. Hmm. I'll be in touch? :D

[tuckessee]

How is it that prisonplanet has all this insider access to FEMA's "secret plans"? Damn that prisonplanet - now they've just made FEMA discard this particular nefarious plan and come up with another one.

Is your snarky reply an attempt to say this is not happening?

[Kotin]

Neat. I want to become a pastor now. Anyone want to join Amy's Church O' Agnosticism and/or Atheism?

I assure you, it'll be way more fun than the church you go to now. The ACAA wants YOU!

I'm in!



I'll bring the wine, because i wont join a church without good wine :D

[amy31416]

I'm in!



I'll bring the wine, because i wont join a church without good wine :D

Awesome. I prefer dry.

Oh, I think that if you bring wine and/or spirits, then you get bumped up in the hierarchy of the church somehow. Not that I know what the hierarchy is yet, aside from me being the supreme leader.

I have work to do!

[acptulsa]

I'll bring the wine, because i wont join a church without good wine

I'd consider that a prerequisite. Ain't drinkin' no damn flavor-aid!

[amy31416]

I'd consider that a prerequisite. Ain't drinkin' no damn flavor-aid!

None of that flavor-aid bullshit--though I still may be compelled to write a manifesto at some point... Screw it, I'm lazy, all ya get is a pamphlet.

[yongrel]

You can't spell "Alex Jones is a schmuck" without "Alex Jones."

[acptulsa]

None of that flavor-aid bullshit--though I still may be compelled to write a manifesto at some point... Screw it, I'm lazy, all ya get is a pamphlet.

Better... Don't think this crowd could handle more than about three Commandments.

[Kotin]

None of that flavor-aid bullshit--though I still may be compelled to write a manifesto at some point... Screw it, I'm lazy, all ya get is a pamphlet.

you can still call it a manifesto. :D

[asgardshill]

Is your snarky reply an attempt to say this is not happening?

My snarky reply was to note that the source of the "documentation" that this was allegedly happening is flawed to say the least.

[asgardshill]

Neat. I want to become a pastor now. Anyone want to join Amy's Church O' Agnosticism and/or Atheism?

I assure you, it'll be way more fun than the church you go to now. The ACAA wants YOU!

My imaginary sky creature can beat up your imaginary sky creature.

(Oh wait, you don't have an ISC ... dammit ...)

[amy31416]

My imaginary sky creature can beat up your imaginary sky creature.

(Oh wait, you don't have an ISC ... dammit ...)

HA!

And if I did, it'd be equipped with death rays and laser beams.

[amy31416]

you can still call it a manifesto. :D

Cool! A manifesto for the ADHD crowd. . .it'll have lots of pictures. Of what I don't know yet.

[christagious]

Did your pastor attend one of these FEMA meetings?

No, I was talking politics with her and told her how the clergy will be used to quell dissents once things get bad and she bluntly said that she will definitely not be doing that. She's quite the rebellious one

[Kade]

Neat. I want to become a pastor now. Anyone want to join Amy's Church O' Agnosticism and/or Atheism?

I assure you, it'll be way more fun than the church you go to now. The ACAA wants YOU!

Show me the dotted line..

[amy31416]

Show me the dotted line..

I can't wait to be invited to the secret FEMA meetings and get tax breaks!

I think I'll get my certification here: http://www.pulc.com/

From their site:


Become an ordained minister and enjoy a new outlook on life! As a P.U.L.C. Minister (with the legal right to use the title "Reverend") you will be free to preach and teach according to the dictates of your heart.
WE AUTHORIZE YOU TO
PERFORM ALL FUNCTIONS
OF THE MINISTRY including marriages, baptisms, funerals, services, etc. As a point of passing, thousands of Ministers
have become enormously wealthy performing simple religious ceremonies.


And I promise you, as your new minister, or reverend or pastor or whatever, that 25% of the riches I'll rake in will go to the wine fund, 25% to Ron Paul Republicans, 25% to the compound* (I have to have one of those, right?) and 25% to me, what the heck. I'll need a new wardrobe for my new job.



*The "compound" will be like a big-ass science lab, filled with all kinds of cool stuff, reference books and snacks.

[Kotin]

I can't wait to be invited to the secret FEMA meetings and get tax breaks!

I think I'll get my certification here: http://www.pulc.com/

From their site:



And I promise you, as your new minister, or reverend or pastor or whatever, that 25% of the riches I'll rake in will go to the wine fund, 25% to Ron Paul Republicans, 25% to the compound* (I have to have one of those, right?) and 25% to me, what the heck. I'll need a new wardrobe for my new job.



*The "compound" will be like a big-ass science lab, filled with all kinds of cool stuff, reference books and snacks.



we get a compound?...

and snacks?

now were talking

[amy31416]

we get a compound?...

and snacks?

now were talking

See? That's the shit!

What I don't have in charisma, I'll make up for in snacks and cool gadgetry!

[asgardshill]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7wc55oXWf8

I want to be choir director.

[amy31416]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7wc55oXWf8

I want to be choir director.

Thanks for stepping up. You got the job.

Ya know, I'm kidding about this (obviously) but wouldn't it kinda be cool to go to a "church" laid out like a lab and have the "sermon" be on some form of technology, science or engineering?

Instead of the 10 commandments, we'd have the scientific method and the laws of thermodynamics. Instead of Noah, Adam & Eve and all that stuff, learn about people like Hawking, Copernicus, Mendeleev, Heisenberg, etc--all under the guise of a church, with all of the special privileges that a religious organization gets.

That's something that would get my ass out of bed on a Saturday or Sunday morning.

[Kade]

I can't wait to be invited to the secret FEMA meetings and get tax breaks!

I think I'll get my certification here: http://www.pulc.com/

From their site:



And I promise you, as your new minister, or reverend or pastor or whatever, that 25% of the riches I'll rake in will go to the wine fund, 25% to Ron Paul Republicans, 25% to the compound* (I have to have one of those, right?) and 25% to me, what the heck. I'll need a new wardrobe for my new job.



*The "compound" will be like a big-ass science lab, filled with all kinds of cool stuff, reference books and snacks.

I am already a Reverend with Progressive Universal Life.

[asgardshill]

Thanks for stepping up. You got the job.

Ya know, I'm kidding about this (obviously) but wouldn't it kinda be cool to go to a "church" laid out like a lab and have the "sermon" be on some form of technology, science or engineering?

Instead of the 10 commandments, we'd have the scientific method and the laws of thermodynamics. Instead of Noah, Adam & Eve and all that stuff, learn about people like Hawking, Copernicus, Mendeleev, Heisenberg, etc--all under the guise of a church, with all of the special privileges that a religious organization gets.

That's something that would get my ass out of bed on a Saturday or Sunday morning.

So "Christian Science" is just a cruel lie, designed to raise my hopes only to crush them like a cockroach under a heel? Damn. :mad:

[asgardshill]

(Just thinking we've hijacked the crap out this thread, haven't we?)

[acptulsa]

(Just thinking we've hijacked the crap out this thread, haven't we?)

Hey, we had to find us a pacifier, didn't we?

[amy31416]

Couldn't have happened to a better thread...now if only we could do similar with the ID thread.

[Kotin]

Couldn't have happened to a better thread...now if only we could do similar with the ID thread.

amen sister. ;)

[christagious]

I can't wait to be invited to the secret FEMA meetings and get tax breaks!

I think I'll get my certification here: http://www.pulc.com/




Is that a scam?

[amy31416]

Is that a scam?

No. It's completely real. We can all be pastors, so long as we make a "love donation" of around $20.

Amen.