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View Full Version : Will never Happen---But we can dream




jim70769
02-14-2008, 05:57 AM
From Walton and Johnson

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV JAN 20TH 2009 AND HEAR OUR NEW PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING INAUGURATION SPEECH?

"My Fellow Americans...I am humbled and honored to be your elected President. I hope you don't want business as usual for starting today we are going to make a few changes.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on the Iraq war I am now declaring our mission there is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom, Spain , Bulgaria , Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO SAVE OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM.

The hard working American tax payers are no longer going to pour money into poorly governed countries and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France or Iran.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Kill even one more American from this day forward and we will use whatever weapons we have at our disposal to eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. This would also include your shrines and religious sites when you strike any iconic buildings sacred to us.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking ticke ts to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or will sell your precious Beemers, Mercedes, and Jags in Mexico for cash to drug lords.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Two words, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "we like to call it a time of self interest and infrastructure repair".

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic or Chinese.

God bless America . Let's get to work bringing home our factories and making things to sell again.